Seru's Stance on Smackdown 4/3/17
Posted: Jul 7th, '17, 17:25
Cena opens the show- negative
I originally didn't mind this segment and was about to give it a positive rating, but the more I thought about it, the more it began to bother me. I resigned myself to the fact that we were going to get a huge patriotic promo from Cena on July 4th, and that it was going to take AGES before we got the actual show rolling, so I tried to enjoy it as much as I could. Cena is always a good talker, and he fills all of his promos with emotion, which helps me get behind it, even a patriotic American promo, as a Canadian. But JUST as I was starting to think that it was taking too much time, Rusev came out to tell me that we were still in for WAY more talking. Rusev cuts my least favourite promo as a non-American, and John Cena proceeds to bury what should have been a big return. One of the big sticking points for me with Rusev's promo is that he talks about how he works just as hard as Cena, so hard in fact that it got him hurt. BUT didn't we see a video a little while ago where he was holding out for more money from Shane and Daniel? I guess we're just supposed to forget about that. Cena challenges Rusev to a Flag Match- which is a gimmick that is totally lost on me- but Rusev backs off, and we find out later that it's coming at Battleground instead. This whole thing a) took too long and b) buried a superstar's return that should have been a big deal. So the more I thought about it, the less I liked the whole thing.
Chad Gable v AJ Styles- Winner qualifies for the Independence Day Battle Royal- positive
So beyond the booking part of this match- which I have resolved not to let bother me overmuch in these reviews because everyone else addresses it better than me- I actually liked this match. I wish it would have gotten some more time, but it was a good first step in making Gable look like a solo guy. However, my question is... Where's Jordan? Did I miss something? The answer is probably yes, but I'm confused nonetheless. I like Gable's attempt at a facial expression, except that rather than looking mad at AJ for presumably not taking him seriously, he looks more like he's scared of AJ. But at least he doesn't look like an emotionless action figure. Gable started much stronger than I expected, and gives us a little glint of aerial skill in contrast to his primarily mat-based skill set. He's also way stronger than I knew, and kind of throws AJ around a bit before AJ hits the Styles Clash for the win. AJ is a good sport at the end, and Gable gets a surprising amount of TV time following his loss. Maybe I read a bit too much into those little queues, but I found it interesting.
Mojo Rawley and Zack Ryder- neutral
My video cut out partway through this segment, but I'm sure I only missed the teasing of the breakup of the Hype Bros. Sadly, I feel like Mojo will get the bigger push of the two when this happens. I also wonder... Why do Gable and Styles have to fight to get into the Independence Day Battle Royal, but Ryder and Rawley just got in? That's bothersome.
Carmella Promo- negative
Ellsworth is beginning to ruin every segment he's a part of for me. As Carmella is talking, I can't help but wonder, didn't she originally have some accent? She says basically the same thing as the last three weeks, and Ellsworth makes me mute the video for a bit. Naomi thankfully interrupts, but then I see that her belt is glowing, and that, plus her whole gimmick, she looks like a toy. She's a talented girl, but the way she cuts a promo and her gimmick are quite irritating. I did like the "Ellsworthless" bit, that was humorous. Daniel Bryan then comes out, and gets the most attention in the whole segment. The non-wrestling authority figure. He then says he's gonna ban Ellsworth, because that worked so well last time. Then he suspends and fines him as well. If I were an employer, and one of my employees routinely defied my instructions and jeopardised my product, I would fire him. I will take the 30 Ellsworth-free days happily though.
Naomi v Lana for the Smackdown Women's Title- negative
We get this same match for the third time, and I wonder what Lana has done to warrant these matches. We are told that it's to make up for the botched call, which is okay, but then Naomi makes her look like a fool and she taps out almost instantly. This made Lana look even worse, and Tamina gathering her up like a scolded child (while she actually looks like she's about to cry, by the way), made it even worse. Except that it addressed the botched call from last week, this segment did nothing and shouldn't have happened.
Nakamura/Corbin Segment- positive
Except Dasha's little mistake, I actually kind of liked this. It's a standard heel-jumps-babyface segment, but Nakamura looks like he's into it and wants to keep going. Probably the only segment with Corbin involved that I've liked in a LONG time.
The New Day v The Usos in a Rap Battle- neutral
I love you guys, but I'm not watching this hot mess for you. I skipped it. It looked like New Day got the upper hand, so the Usos have to respond somehow before Battleground.
Randy Orton v Aiden English- negative
It's nice to see some kind of consequence of Orton RKOing English last week, even if English is about to get demolished. As an aside, do English's tights have Starry Night on them? I didn't like the gimmick before, now I think it's just pretentious. Predictably, Orton destroys English, and Jinder comes out to antagonise Orton because God forbid we forget about the very forgettable WWE Champion before Battleground. JBL proceeds to claim that the Punjabi Prison match is Jinder's match... HOW?! He's never been in one, but it's his match just because he's Punjabi? I won't necessarily call that a racist comment, but it sure is ignorant. Also, Jinder walks like his knees are locked, which is weird. He says the same thing he's been saying the whole time, another anti-American promo that could have been read verbatim from any one of his other promos. This whole segment was a waste of time. We were reminded about the angle because they were concerned we'd forget who our incredibly boring champion is, while this time could have been better served doing something else. Just a casual mention by a commentator about Randy gaining momentum going into his title match would have been sufficient.
Tye Dillinger and Tyler Breeze- neutral
See my comments about the rap battle. Breezango just isn't funny to me.
Maria/Mike Kanellis and Sami Zayn- negative
I feel like I'm still missing something about Maria and Mike because I still don't like it. Sami comes in and, while the apologising bit and the bit where he rushes out when his music hits were funny, the stuff in the middle was so cringy that I couldn't get into it.
Independence Day Battle Royal- Winner is the Number One Contender for the United States Championship- positive
Battle royals are almost always a good time, but going into this I had a strong feeling that Styles was winning. And HOLY HELL does Dolph Ziggler need a haircut. He gets eliminated fairly quickly- there goes my "heart pick". Rawley and Ryder become the story of the match until they are both eliminated, and we get to Sami Zayn and AJ Styles. I'm okay with either of these. In the end, it was a decent battle royal, even if it seemed to me to be a bit short.
Overall, a bad show in my opinion. It's sad to see all of the talented guys being wasted, not just on Smackdown, but on RAW. And how long has it been since Nakamura has had a match on Smackdown? Like three weeks?
I originally didn't mind this segment and was about to give it a positive rating, but the more I thought about it, the more it began to bother me. I resigned myself to the fact that we were going to get a huge patriotic promo from Cena on July 4th, and that it was going to take AGES before we got the actual show rolling, so I tried to enjoy it as much as I could. Cena is always a good talker, and he fills all of his promos with emotion, which helps me get behind it, even a patriotic American promo, as a Canadian. But JUST as I was starting to think that it was taking too much time, Rusev came out to tell me that we were still in for WAY more talking. Rusev cuts my least favourite promo as a non-American, and John Cena proceeds to bury what should have been a big return. One of the big sticking points for me with Rusev's promo is that he talks about how he works just as hard as Cena, so hard in fact that it got him hurt. BUT didn't we see a video a little while ago where he was holding out for more money from Shane and Daniel? I guess we're just supposed to forget about that. Cena challenges Rusev to a Flag Match- which is a gimmick that is totally lost on me- but Rusev backs off, and we find out later that it's coming at Battleground instead. This whole thing a) took too long and b) buried a superstar's return that should have been a big deal. So the more I thought about it, the less I liked the whole thing.
Chad Gable v AJ Styles- Winner qualifies for the Independence Day Battle Royal- positive
So beyond the booking part of this match- which I have resolved not to let bother me overmuch in these reviews because everyone else addresses it better than me- I actually liked this match. I wish it would have gotten some more time, but it was a good first step in making Gable look like a solo guy. However, my question is... Where's Jordan? Did I miss something? The answer is probably yes, but I'm confused nonetheless. I like Gable's attempt at a facial expression, except that rather than looking mad at AJ for presumably not taking him seriously, he looks more like he's scared of AJ. But at least he doesn't look like an emotionless action figure. Gable started much stronger than I expected, and gives us a little glint of aerial skill in contrast to his primarily mat-based skill set. He's also way stronger than I knew, and kind of throws AJ around a bit before AJ hits the Styles Clash for the win. AJ is a good sport at the end, and Gable gets a surprising amount of TV time following his loss. Maybe I read a bit too much into those little queues, but I found it interesting.
Mojo Rawley and Zack Ryder- neutral
My video cut out partway through this segment, but I'm sure I only missed the teasing of the breakup of the Hype Bros. Sadly, I feel like Mojo will get the bigger push of the two when this happens. I also wonder... Why do Gable and Styles have to fight to get into the Independence Day Battle Royal, but Ryder and Rawley just got in? That's bothersome.
Carmella Promo- negative
Ellsworth is beginning to ruin every segment he's a part of for me. As Carmella is talking, I can't help but wonder, didn't she originally have some accent? She says basically the same thing as the last three weeks, and Ellsworth makes me mute the video for a bit. Naomi thankfully interrupts, but then I see that her belt is glowing, and that, plus her whole gimmick, she looks like a toy. She's a talented girl, but the way she cuts a promo and her gimmick are quite irritating. I did like the "Ellsworthless" bit, that was humorous. Daniel Bryan then comes out, and gets the most attention in the whole segment. The non-wrestling authority figure. He then says he's gonna ban Ellsworth, because that worked so well last time. Then he suspends and fines him as well. If I were an employer, and one of my employees routinely defied my instructions and jeopardised my product, I would fire him. I will take the 30 Ellsworth-free days happily though.
Naomi v Lana for the Smackdown Women's Title- negative
We get this same match for the third time, and I wonder what Lana has done to warrant these matches. We are told that it's to make up for the botched call, which is okay, but then Naomi makes her look like a fool and she taps out almost instantly. This made Lana look even worse, and Tamina gathering her up like a scolded child (while she actually looks like she's about to cry, by the way), made it even worse. Except that it addressed the botched call from last week, this segment did nothing and shouldn't have happened.
Nakamura/Corbin Segment- positive
Except Dasha's little mistake, I actually kind of liked this. It's a standard heel-jumps-babyface segment, but Nakamura looks like he's into it and wants to keep going. Probably the only segment with Corbin involved that I've liked in a LONG time.
The New Day v The Usos in a Rap Battle- neutral
I love you guys, but I'm not watching this hot mess for you. I skipped it. It looked like New Day got the upper hand, so the Usos have to respond somehow before Battleground.
Randy Orton v Aiden English- negative
It's nice to see some kind of consequence of Orton RKOing English last week, even if English is about to get demolished. As an aside, do English's tights have Starry Night on them? I didn't like the gimmick before, now I think it's just pretentious. Predictably, Orton destroys English, and Jinder comes out to antagonise Orton because God forbid we forget about the very forgettable WWE Champion before Battleground. JBL proceeds to claim that the Punjabi Prison match is Jinder's match... HOW?! He's never been in one, but it's his match just because he's Punjabi? I won't necessarily call that a racist comment, but it sure is ignorant. Also, Jinder walks like his knees are locked, which is weird. He says the same thing he's been saying the whole time, another anti-American promo that could have been read verbatim from any one of his other promos. This whole segment was a waste of time. We were reminded about the angle because they were concerned we'd forget who our incredibly boring champion is, while this time could have been better served doing something else. Just a casual mention by a commentator about Randy gaining momentum going into his title match would have been sufficient.
Tye Dillinger and Tyler Breeze- neutral
See my comments about the rap battle. Breezango just isn't funny to me.
Maria/Mike Kanellis and Sami Zayn- negative
I feel like I'm still missing something about Maria and Mike because I still don't like it. Sami comes in and, while the apologising bit and the bit where he rushes out when his music hits were funny, the stuff in the middle was so cringy that I couldn't get into it.
Independence Day Battle Royal- Winner is the Number One Contender for the United States Championship- positive
Battle royals are almost always a good time, but going into this I had a strong feeling that Styles was winning. And HOLY HELL does Dolph Ziggler need a haircut. He gets eliminated fairly quickly- there goes my "heart pick". Rawley and Ryder become the story of the match until they are both eliminated, and we get to Sami Zayn and AJ Styles. I'm okay with either of these. In the end, it was a decent battle royal, even if it seemed to me to be a bit short.
Overall, a bad show in my opinion. It's sad to see all of the talented guys being wasted, not just on Smackdown, but on RAW. And how long has it been since Nakamura has had a match on Smackdown? Like three weeks?