BRM Reviews the 7/4/2017 Smackdown

Post Reply
User avatar
Big Red Machine
Posts: 18780
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12
Favorite Wrestler: Kane

BRM Reviews the 7/4/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Jul 5th, '17, 03:44

OPENING SEGMENT- SOOOOOO boring.
How can you chant “LET’S GO CENA!” when he’s not doing anything? What are you rooting for him to do? He says that other wrestlers have been saying that he has “gone Hollywood” and “sold out” called him “a part-timing mascot.” Who has said that?
Well… Cena gave us a list of names that is basically every top name in the company (and also Jinder). I don’t recall hearing any of these men say this, and to be honest, I can’t envision either Nakamura or Brock saying this. He talks about all of his passion for WWE and so on and so forth and I’m sorry but- like Cena himself said about Rock- if you love WWE so much then why did you take time off to go do other stuff?

RUSEV IS BACK! He got a huge pop. And then the same people that popped for him started to chant “USA!” at him. He made many good points, and even gave a kayfabe explanation for why he didn’t show up that week when he was advertised to (he was offended that Bryan and Shane wouldn’t respond to him). Cena was a condescending dick, and he ignored all of Rusev’s points about how it was unfair that Cena got all of this hype for his return while Rusev got none for his.
Jingoism happens. John Cena teaches us all patriotic lessons and gives us a patriotic speech. He wants a Flag Match tonight. I have no interest in seeing any of this. Thankfully Rusev declines the match. I want this segment to end sooooo badly. And it does. Hooray.
Well… that was a waste of about fifteen minutes.

DANIEL BRYAN, CHAD GABLE, & AJ STYLES BACKSTAGE- terrible.
Why are these f*cking authority figures always on their phones? It never sounds like a business call, either. It sounds like they’re just talking to some buddy at home about the show.
Bryan tells AJ and Gable that Owens has been calling him all week saying that neither of them should be in tonight’s Battle Royale because Owens has already beaten them. So what? The storyline (at least for last week) was that “only open to guys I haven’t beaten before” was the stipulation on the open challenges Owens has been conducting (that isn’t what they said when the match actually aired two weeks ago, but WWE just wants everyone to forget that part). Those open challenges have absolutely nothing to do with this #1 contenership battle royale which Bryan booked. But Bryan is going to partially give in to Kevin Owens just because he’s tired of Owens calling him. Quite the babyface that Daniel Bryan is. He books AJ vs. Gable in qualifying match for the Battle Royale. No one else has to qualify. Just them. And this is all even sillier when you realize that Nakamura actually has an unresolved clean pin on Owens.

WINNER QUALIFIES FOR THE US TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP BATTLE ROYALE: AJ Styles vs. Chad Gable- 6.5/10
The match was fine for the time it got. This did not help Gable one bit. It would have been better to not do this and just have these two be the final two men in the battle royale. At least that way Gable wouldn’t have to get pinned and would have been able to look good by eliminating a number of others.

HYPE BROS. BACKSTAGE- they’re in the Battle Royale. Also, their team will not last much longer.

CARMELLA-BRATION SEGMENT-
Carmella cut a fine promo. Then Naomi came out to interrupt her for absolutely no reason other than to be rude. They had added LED lights to the title so it, too, can glow during Carmella’s entrance. This makes it feel even more like a prop than the garish “ALL THAT MATTERS IS THE WWE LOGO” design of the belt already does. I let Carmella get away with it because she was the first one to do it on this show, but Naomi making sure to explain to us how MITB works YET AGAIN really annoyed me. She’s not scared of Carmella and her MITB contract, though, “because my eyes will always be open, and my glow will always be on.” It’s 4am and I actually have to work tomorrow, so I don’t have the strength for another rant about how Creative can destroy anything and everything by simply finding one aspect of something (even an aspect that seems to be working) and making that the be-all, end-all of everything. Naomi has a glowing entrance. Therefore she must try to force the word into every sentence she speaks, and we’ll turn the supposedly prestigious championship into a nightlight.
Then Naomi gets to give Bryan a big intro he can deal with Ellsworth. I assume he is going to punish him for returning to the building last week even though he had been barred from doing so. You’d think Bryan or Shane would have gotten around to this at some point in the past week, but apparently not. He bars Ellsworth from the arena again tonight. I’m not sure why. It’s not like Carmella has an important match or anything. Also, he is fining him $10,000. And suspending him for 30 days without pay, and also if he disobeys any rules Carmella will be stripped of MITB (again). When Ellsworth says that he doesn’t have that kind of money to just throw away, Bryan laughed, which I thought was really douchy. At least there are some consequences… but why does Bryan not just fire Ellsworth? He’s a kayfabe sh*tty wrestler who is causing problems in the women’s division and everyone hates him.

WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Naomi(c) vs. Lana- DUD!
Lana is getting this title shot because her shoulder was up during the pinfall last week. I guess that was a legit botch, so this week they did something botch-proof and just had Naomi make Lana tap immediately.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Tamina comes out and has a stare-down with Naomi but then turns to Lana and tells her to “get up. Let’s go. Come on.” That was weird.

DASHA BOTCHES ASKING NAKAMURA A QUESTION (she said “afraid by you” instead of “afraid of you”)- Corbin jumps Nakamura from behind. They get separated.

USOS VS. NEW DAY RAP BATTLE- waste of time.
The Usos have brought a whole bunch of friends dressed in stereotypical gangsta clothes. There is one guy in their posse whose face is completely covered by his bandana, which has me very suspicious. New Day also have some friends, most of whom are dressed very strangely. I think the idea here was that New Day were being lame on purpose (Woods was pretty good, though), but The Usos were pretty great. The Usos somehow got disqualified in a rap battle, but the MC was New Day’s friend so it’s pretty suspicious. This was a waste of time.

AIDEN ENGLISH vs. RANDY ORTON- 1.25/10
Aiden English attacks Randy Orton for interrupting him. After last week I think Randy deserves it. Randy beat English up a lot. They were on the outside forever but the referee never bothered to count them out. The idea here is that Randy is angry and aggressive now and I guess they got that over, but this was very boring, and this is not making me like Randy or sympathize with him in any way. If this was the Singh Brothers he was going after it would be one thing, but Aiden English has done nothing to warrant this treatment.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- boring
Jinder & the Singh Brothers showed up. Seeing the three people he has vowed to murder, Randy just stands around doing nothing instead of trying to hurt them. Jinder cuts the same dumb promo he always does about how all Americans are racist and other such bullsh*t and he’s the Modern Maharaja Day. You’d think John Cena would come out here and defend America’s honor, but I guess he’s in the bathroom.
Randy interrupts Jinder before he can start speaking Punjabi. He says tells Jinder he will “RKO your ass right back to India.” How would that work, exactly?
Randy continued by giving the same response he always gives to Jinder’s allegations of racism. This entire brand is running in circles, and it feels like it has been for months.

TYLER BREEZE IS DRESSED UP LIKE RENEE YOUNG TO TRY TO INTERVIEW TYE DILLINGER- funny.
The idea here was that Breeze was trying to trick Dillinger into revealing his strategy for how he would try to eliminate them tonight, but Tye flipped it around on them and got into Breeze’s head by pointing out that only one person can win, which means that Breeze and Fandango might have to fight each other. Tyler claimed his name was “Tenay Young.” That couldn’t have been a coincidence.

MIKE & MARIA ARE INTERVIEWED BY RENEE YOUNG- the camera went out in the middle of this so we were working on audio only for a bit. Sami Zayn was stretching nearby and accidentally knocked over some of those metal poles that WWE always seems to have stacked up everywhere backstage. He apologized profusely. I thought this was pretty funny.

BATTLE ROYALE FOR A US TITLE SHOT AT BATTLEGROUND- 5/10
Owens was on commentary. He was entertaining. The stuff with the Hype Bros. was good. AJ predictably won and AJ predictably jumped him. AJ made a comeback via enzugiri but Owens managed to escape before AJ could hit the Styles Clash. AJ posed with Owens’ title belt.

Did you know that of the past ten US Champions, only one of them (Roman Reigns) has been a kayfabe American?

Another bad episode of Smackdown, but at least it was about the wrestlers this week.


Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
WWE in 2005
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
TNA Victory Road 2008
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
ECW Guilty As Charged 1999

User avatar
KILLdozer
Posts: 3528
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 22:54
Favorite Wrestler: Idk
Location: Ocean Springs,MS.

Re: BRM Reviews the 7/4/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » Jul 5th, '17, 22:10

Yeah. No one has literally said anything about him. He has been doing things like a part time. He talks about people competing with the best, and he wants to compete with the best. Everyone's better than him though. He just comes out here with all this nonsense and getting overly amped up and hyped...

Great segment! I immediately remember why I hate this fool so much... because he doesn't get hyped, he just constantly is staying hyped.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

User avatar
Serujuunin
Posts: 1725
Joined: Dec 17th, '10, 19:56
Favorite Wrestler: Jeff Hardy
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Contact:

Re: BRM Reviews the 7/4/2017 Smackdown

Post by Serujuunin » Jul 7th, '17, 00:00

Did you guys realize that, on a show where the WWE Champion was featured, the United States Title was in the main event spot...

I'm starting to feel the same way about the WWE Title as I do about the Universal Title.

User avatar
Big Red Machine
Posts: 18780
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12
Favorite Wrestler: Kane

Re: BRM Reviews the 7/4/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Jul 7th, '17, 00:05

Serujuunin wrote:
Jul 7th, '17, 00:00
Did you guys realize that, on a show where the WWE Champion was featured, the United States Title was in the main event spot...

I'm starting to feel the same way about the WWE Title as I do about the Universal Title.
Which is sad because at least the WWE Champion is actually there every week. It really shows how much Jinder has hurt the belt.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
WWE in 2005
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
TNA Victory Road 2008
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
ECW Guilty As Charged 1999

User avatar
KILLdozer
Posts: 3528
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 22:54
Favorite Wrestler: Idk
Location: Ocean Springs,MS.

Re: BRM Reviews the 7/4/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » Jul 7th, '17, 11:31

I'm thinking Lana and Tamina is going to basically be "Lana sucks, is flat out horrible and loses so quickly on her own, literally a pushover, but Tamina ends up doing all the work " lol. I actually like that idea a whole lot.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

User avatar
Big Red Machine
Posts: 18780
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12
Favorite Wrestler: Kane

Re: BRM Reviews the 7/4/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Jul 7th, '17, 12:31

KILLdozer wrote:
Jul 7th, '17, 11:31
I'm thinking Lana and Tamina is going to basically be "Lana sucks, is flat out horrible and loses so quickly on her own, literally a pushover, but Tamina ends up doing all the work " lol. I actually like that idea a whole lot.
I like it in theory, but for it to work Lana needs to be a chickensh*t and she hasn't been one at all. She's barely even been a heel. Summer Rae would work much better for this spot when she comes back from her injury (I know she's on Raw but they can do some sort of trade for a jobber).
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
WWE in 2005
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
TNA Victory Road 2008
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
ECW Guilty As Charged 1999

User avatar
KILLdozer
Posts: 3528
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 22:54
Favorite Wrestler: Idk
Location: Ocean Springs,MS.

Re: BRM Reviews the 7/4/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » Jul 7th, '17, 13:45

Big Red Machine wrote:
Jul 7th, '17, 12:31
KILLdozer wrote:
Jul 7th, '17, 11:31
I'm thinking Lana and Tamina is going to basically be "Lana sucks, is flat out horrible and loses so quickly on her own, literally a pushover, but Tamina ends up doing all the work " lol. I actually like that idea a whole lot.
I like it in theory, but for it to work Lana needs to be a chickensh*t and she hasn't been one at all. She's barely even been a heel. Summer Rae would work much better for this spot when she comes back from her injury (I know she's on Raw but they can do some sort of trade for a jobber).
Give it time Maaaannnnnn!

They should jump Naomi, put her out, forfeit the belt, of course there must be a new champion, which Lana then becomes with Tamina's help.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

User avatar
KILLdozer
Posts: 3528
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 22:54
Favorite Wrestler: Idk
Location: Ocean Springs,MS.

Re: BRM Reviews the 7/4/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » Jul 7th, '17, 13:50

You really like Summer Rae btw, don't you?

Also, that would pave the way for another Naomi returns from injury angle, and maybe she'd actually look like more of a face. Then she come back serious and without the glow and the arrogance and the crazy talking like a thug.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

User avatar
Big Red Machine
Posts: 18780
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12
Favorite Wrestler: Kane

Re: BRM Reviews the 7/4/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Jul 7th, '17, 14:12

KILLdozer wrote:
Jul 7th, '17, 13:50
You really like Summer Rae btw, don't you?

Also, that would pave the way for another Naomi returns from injury angle, and maybe she'd actually look like more of a face. Then she come back serious and without the glow and the arrogance and the crazy talking like a thug.
Yes. Find me a better female to play a chickensh*t role than Summer Rae? Watch her matches. She's hilarious with her attempts at trash-talking the babyface and then screaming in fear when the babyface reverses a move.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
WWE in 2005
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
TNA Victory Road 2008
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
ECW Guilty As Charged 1999

User avatar
Serujuunin
Posts: 1725
Joined: Dec 17th, '10, 19:56
Favorite Wrestler: Jeff Hardy
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Contact:

Re: BRM Reviews the 7/4/2017 Smackdown

Post by Serujuunin » Jul 7th, '17, 15:39

Big Red Machine wrote:
Jul 7th, '17, 14:12
KILLdozer wrote:
Jul 7th, '17, 13:50
You really like Summer Rae btw, don't you?

Also, that would pave the way for another Naomi returns from injury angle, and maybe she'd actually look like more of a face. Then she come back serious and without the glow and the arrogance and the crazy talking like a thug.
Yes. Find me a better female to play a chickensh*t role than Summer Rae? Watch her matches. She's hilarious with her attempts at trash-talking the babyface and then screaming in fear when the babyface reverses a move.
I'm with Red on this one. I can't name a girl on the roster better at this than her.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests