BRM Reviews the 4/18/2017 Smackdown

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 4/18/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Apr 19th, '17, 16:59

OPENING SEGMENT-
Charlotte comes out and cuts a great promo saying that she has been on Smackdown for one whole week now and does not understand she hasn’t been given a title shot yet. Excellent heel stuff.
Smackdown Women’s Champion Naomi comes out and says she’ll give Charlotte a title shot, right here, right now, then starts a brawl with her. JBL says that he “can’t remember the last time someone stood up to Charlotte like that.” Um… how about just last week on Raw when Nia Jax did after Charlotte started shoving her? Or every single time Charlotte has been on screen with Sasha since their split in NXT?

One lone referee runs out to try to break them up (and fails, which was good). Then Shane comes out and everyone stops what they’re doing to listen to him. He first gets himself over with a pointless cheap pop, then says that Charlotte and Naomi will have a match tonight but it won’t be for the title because “this is Smackdown Live and Superstars have to earn their opportunities here.” That’s good to hear. You don’t mind if I hold you to that statement, do you Shane?

So Shane left, and while we were all being distracted by the dull tones and obvious analysis being provided by Byron Saxton (and to, a lesser extent, Tom Phillips) Charlotte jumped Naomi and laid her out to get some heat. Good.
Then Naomi got up and laid Charlotte out to undo all of that. Not good.

SHANE & VARIOUS HEEL WOMEN BACKSTAGE- terrible
Nattie is annoyed that she isn’t getting a title shot. Shane points out that he gave her a title shot at WrestleMania and she failed to capitalized on it. This got me thinking: none of those women did jack sh*t to earn that title shot (Naomi certainly deserved it because she had to vacate the title and I believe Alexa cheated to beat Becky in the match for the vacated belt, but neither of these points were EVER brought up on TV)… so if Shane was willing to give them a title shot for no reason, why isn’t willing to do so for Charlotte?
Nattie says that that doesn’t count because it wasn’t a singles match (it would have been better if she also brought up the fact that she wasn’t the one who lost the fall). Shane condescendingly tells her “well if you wanted a singles opportunity, all you had to do was ask, like Charlotte did.” First of all, I’d hardly call what Charlotte did “asking.” She flat-out DEMANDED a title shot. But more importantly, Shane: this is a f*cking wrestling show in which the wrestlers compete to win matches so that they can earn a title shot and win the title… so from now on, why don’t you just assume that EVERYONE’S DEFAULT STATE IS WANTING A TITLE SHOT IN THE MOST BASIC MATCH THEIR DIVISION ALLOWS!
Then Carmella & Ellsworth show up and says that Carmella should be “the face of the Smackdown Live Women’s Division.” Shouldn’t she care about being the champion instead of being the “face of the division?” Arguing happened until Tamina showed up and said that she wanted a title shot, too. Nattie said that it wasn’t fair that Charlotte was getting this opportunity (which none of them seem to understand isn’t actually a title shot tonight), but she has an evil plan that they should all go off-camera to discuss. If Shane doesn’t immediately add some sort of stipulation to prevent interference in the Naomi vs. Charlotte match after hear this, he’s a f*cking idiot.

I really didn’t like this. The lack of consistency in management’s decisions is extremely frustrating, as is the WWE speak, and WWE’s inability to do a segment like this to set something up without relying on this tired and corny formula where people just keep walking into the GM’s “office” which comes off a lot more like it’s an interview set than anything else” and have awkward conversations while all making sure to stand facing the camera that they supposedly don’t even know is there is just G-d damn grating. And Shane…
Shane and Steph are quite the interesting juxtaposition. Steph is a heel who denigrates others with constant brow-beatings while Shane is a babyface who similarly makes the talent took bad with his aloof condescension. Steph makes the talent look like they are below her by forcibly pushing them down, while Shane does so by placing himself so high up above them (although, to be fair, Shane usually doesn’t do this with the main eventers). Both are bad. These shows both badly need a William Regal type figure. One is respectable and strong but also comes across as a man whose job is to book the wrestling show and manage the talent, but understands that he is not the central figure of his segments.

SIX-PACK CHALLENGE TO DETERMINE THE #1 CONTENDER TO THE WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper vs. Mojo Rawley vs. Sami Zayn vs. Erick Rowan vs. Jinder Mahal- 7/10
Remember that thing Shane said a few moments ago about how “Superstars have to earn their opportunities here” on Smackdown Live?
Well…
Sami Zayn just lost a #1 contendership match to a lesser title last week, getting pinned by AJ Styles in Triple Threat match that also involved Baron Cobrin, so not only do I not see why Sami should be in this match, but it sure seems to be like Corbin definitely deserves to be and is getting screwed yet again.

Luke Harper did win his match last week (although it was Orton who scored the pinfall) and before that hadn’t won a single televised match since being on the winning team at Tribute to the Troops and hadn’t had a single televised singles win since the night before that on Main Event (the closest he came was his disputed finish with AJ in the #1 contendership Battle Royale in February), and has not won a televised singles match that anyone actually watched since AUGUST OF 2015.

Dolph Ziggler’s last televised victory was back on February 27th in his Chairs Match against Apollo Crews.

And if you thought those were bad…

WHY THE F*CK IS JINDER MAHAL IN THIS MATCH? He lost to Mojo Rawley last week, and he lost to Finn Balor on Raw the night before that. And Sami Zayn a week before that. He has lost his last three matches, and in none of them has he even last longer than three minutes! In fact, Jinder Mahal has not won a televised wrestling match in a month. His last win was on March 20th on Main Event over Curtis Axel, who I totally forgot was still employed by WWE. The last time he won a televised wrestling match that anyone actually saw was back in January when he was on the winning side of an eight-man tag, but considering that his team had Braun Strowman on it, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Jinder did not pick up the pinfall. On the first Raw of the year he and Rusev won a handicap match against Colin Cassady. The last time Jinder actually contributed to a victory in a FAIR wrestling match that people actually watched was on September 12th, 2016- OVER SEVEN MONTHS AGO- when he beat Jack Swagger. The time before that was his return to WWE on August 1, 2016 when he beat Heath Slater. On televised wrestling shows since his return to WWE last year Jinder has a record of 9-29-1. That’s a winning percentage of less than 33%!

Even more egregious than that (if you can believe that such a thing is even possible) is the case of Erick Rowan. Aside from one win over Rhyno on Main Event in August, Erick Rowan has not won a single televised match since last year’s Battleground PPV, NINE MONTHS AGO. And, aside from the aforementioned Rhyno match that no one saw, do you know when the last time Rowan won televised a singles match was? May 11, 2015! IT’S BEEN ALMOST TWO YEARS SINCE HE WON A SINGLES MATCH ON A SHOW PEOPLE ACTUALLY WATCH, AND SOMEHOW HE’S IN A F*CKING #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH!

And Mojo Rawley, he… actually hasn’t lost a televised match that wasn’t Battle Royale rules since the Smackdown after Survivor Series, and in that time is actually 3-2 in Battle Royales as well… so why the hell wasn’t Mojo just named the freakin’ #1 contender already?

They keep pushing that the winner will face Randy Orton for the WWE Title, so either the match takes place next week (which they haven’t announced) or they’re completely dismissing any possibility that Orton could lose the title to Bray at Payback. (Edit: JBL would later say that this title shot will take place at Backlash, so yeah, they’re dismissing any chance whatsoever that Bray could win).

Oh. Right. The wrestling match. They did a good job at creating a sense of chaos, but it felt a bit repetitive after a while. Then the finish happened. This finish involved The Bollywood Boyz showing up to help Jinder win by grabbing Sami Zayn’s legs so he couldn’t hit the Helluva Kick. Two problems here:
1. The Bollywood Boyz are Cruiserweights, so they’re actually members of the Raw roster, and thus shouldn’t be allowed to be on Smackdown.
2. The Bollywoods Boyz should NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER BE HEELS. They have a perfect babyface gimmick, and with the Usos currently heels, this spot is wide open for them. Why would you turn these guys heel?!
3. JOBBER MAHAL IS NOW THE #1 CONTENDER TO THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- terrible in every way.
Renee shows up to interview Jinder. Jinder asks if we’re booing him because he doesn’t fit our stereotype of people like him (which no one has ever once brought up), or because he is rich (which I guess is technically continuity dating back to his first appearance, so that’s good) or because he speaks two languages (you know… the exact same heel schtik thing that Kevin Steen and Maryse both do on a regular basis, so why the hell is Jinder now also doing it?)
Anyway, Jinder is angry because he says “Americans don’t accept diversity.” Oh boy. Won’t the optics this one be fun when 100% white Randy Orton inevitably defeats the immigrant talking about diversity? He didn’t mention the Bollywood Boyz even once.
Then Randy Orton showed up and cut a short promo on Jinder before quickly transitioning into talking about Bray Wyatt, while poor Jinder has to stand there looking like a complete and total afterthought. We STILL don’t know what a “House of Horrors Match is.” Oh. Look. Here’s Bray Wyatt taking over the TitanTron (so that’s now THREE Raw wrestlers that have appeared in this segment alone). Maybe he’ll finally tell us what the rules are? Nope. Just more drivel spooky images appearing on the screen. If WWE spent as much time on booking good angles as they do on trying to find ways to make Bray spooky then maybe this product wouldn’t suck so much.

JBL is always the one to say that “we still don’t know what a House of Horrors Match is.” He was also always the one to say “we still don’t know what type of match it will be” during the build-up to the Smackdown Women’s Title match at WrestleMania, so are they not even bothering to try to disguise the fact that they’re using the exact same angle twice in a row, but they don’t even have the courtesy to have a different announcer be the one to constantly repeat the line that they use to drive it home.
What JBL actually said this time around was “we still don’t know what a House of Horrors Match is… but I can’t wait to see it.” This provides me with a perfect comparison to explain why this whole concept is so stupid. WWE has agreed to hold this match WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING THE RULES. This means that it could be something that, if they knew about beforehand, WWE would never have let take place. Anything ranging from a match so unfair to Orton it could be a rip-off to the fans (and I don’t mean like a handicap match. I mean, like “first person to be named Bray Wyatt wins”) to something that WWE finds morally repugnant (like the match isn’t allowed to stop until one competitor is dead) or something that would damage the public image of the brand (animal cruelty, abuse of minors, etc.). And before you tell me I’m being ridiculous, let me remind you that 1) while probably unlikely, these are still technically possibilities that WWE has opened themselves up to by blindly accepting this match, which they should not be kayfabe doing as a matter of principle and 2) this is Bray Wyatt we’re talking about here.
But instead WWE has chosen to just blindly accept whatever they’re given and tell us how excited they are by it even though they don’t know what it is. So when JBL says “we still don’t know what a House of Horrors Match is… but I can’t wait to see it,” it makes me hope that a House of Horrors match is a ten minute Ironman match divided into two five minute sections, but with a mandatory fifty minute break in the middle during which the rules stipulate that the TitanTron must show a live stream from JBL’s house of Mauro Ranallo banging JBL’s wife, and boy won’t JBL come off like an idiot if his blind acceptance leads to him getting embarrassed like that, just like what could happen to WWE for agreeing to hold a match without even asking about the rules first.

NEW DAY ARE “COMING SOON”- why are Big E. & Woods not here already?

NAKAMURA VIDEO PACKAGE- fine.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS AJ STYLES- AJ cut a good promo, then Corbin showed up and they had a good exchange (with Corbin even noting that he wasn’t pinned). They want to have a match against each other later tonight.

CHARLOTTE BUMPS INTO THE ANTI-CHARLOTTE CLUB IN A HALLWAY- this resulted in one of the most pathetically overacted backstage segments I have ever seen. Nattie and Ellsworth did all of the talking, and they were both atrocious.

IF CHARLOTTE WINS SHE GETS A SHOT AT THE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE NEXT WEEK: Charlotte Flair vs. Naomi- 6.75/10
This was a very good match with some not very good execution peppered throughout (Naomi’s rapid kicks and Charlotte’s selling of them both looked very poor). I had a hard time enjoying this because I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and the women from the previous segment to run in and cause a DQ… but then Charlotte just won clean instead. So does that mean that Nattie’s grand plan was to be sarcastic at Charlotte and then bump into her once? What a geek.

CHARLOTTE WALKS RIGHT BY THE LOSERS BACKSTAGE- yup. They look completely pathetic.

AMERICAN ALPHA vs. THE SHINING STARS- 5.75/10
Even the week after making their big debut by assaulting the top babyface team on their new brand, the Shining Stars can’t even get their entrance shown on TV. The Shining Stars won kinda-sorta clean. This was their first win on Raw or Smackdown since a win over Golden Truth in November.

LANA VIDEO- Do you think we’re even going to get an explanation as to why she has suddenly changed her character? They said she was coming soon, so I guess we can expect EmmaLana to debut sometime in September.

DASHA INTERVIEWS TYE DILLINGER- they used this to pitch to Dillinger introducing his own video package. What a tool. Even worse, he in no way answered the posed question, which was “why do the fans like you so much?”

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: Kevin Owens(c) vs. GARY DANDY- squash
Owens is now doing an open challenge gimmick where he beats up a jobber every week for the US Title. Why would Shane and Bryan approve this? Owens then cut a promo in which he said no one would take the title from him and also told us that he would do commentary for the main event.

AJ STYLES vs. BARON CORBIN- 7.5/10
They had a good power vs. speed match. Corbin threw AJ into Owens… but shockingly this didn’t lead to a dirty finish. We did wind up with a count-out (which I guess does play into the power vs. speed story, especially the way they did this finish), but at least it was a clean one and we didn’t have a DQ (or even worse, a double DQ) in the main event.

A lot of good wrestling tonight, but almost everything else that wasn’t Charlotte talking or AJ and Corbin’s segment was very bad.

Jinder Mahal? Really?

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. As Charlotte came down to the ring for her match, JBL said “she asked for it, and now she’s got it.”
Um… no, she doesn’t. What she asked for was a title shot. What she has now is the chance to earn one.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3

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NWK2000
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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/18/2017 Smackdown

Post by NWK2000 » Apr 20th, '17, 01:13

Big Red Machine wrote:1. The Bollywood Boyz are Cruiserweights, so they’re actually members of the Raw roster, and thus shouldn’t be allowed to be on Smackdown.
2. The Bollywoods Boyz should NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER BE HEELS. They have a perfect babyface gimmick, and with the Usos currently heels, this spot is wide open for them. Why would you turn these guys heel?



1. I think the Boyz have been more utilized on NXT (losing to AOP twice I think) and so they are able to be drafted to any brand. As well, I don't think they were supposed gto be in the building at all. WWE Logic dictates that street clothes= not supposed to be there, gear= I'm supposed to be here
2. On paper they have a good gimmick, but in execution they got crickets. When the NXT arena is dead for you you need a gimmick change.
NWK Reviews is closed for business for now.

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Big Red Machine
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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/18/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Apr 20th, '17, 08:43

NWK2000 wrote:
Big Red Machine wrote:1. The Bollywood Boyz are Cruiserweights, so they’re actually members of the Raw roster, and thus shouldn’t be allowed to be on Smackdown.
2. The Bollywoods Boyz should NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER BE HEELS. They have a perfect babyface gimmick, and with the Usos currently heels, this spot is wide open for them. Why would you turn these guys heel?



1. I think the Boyz have been more utilized on NXT (losing to AOP twice I think) and so they are able to be drafted to any brand. As well, I don't think they were supposed gto be in the building at all. WWE Logic dictates that street clothes= not supposed to be there, gear= I'm supposed to be here
2. On paper they have a good gimmick, but in execution they got crickets. When the NXT arena is dead for you you need a gimmick change.

1. They've been on 205 Live and therefore are on the main roster and therefore are on Raw. It's bad continuity, and it annoys me. The whole "they're not supposed to be here" thing was never once brought up by the announcers.
2. It's a gimmick that I think would appeal more on the main roster, and they were never really given a chance to get it over. Plus, SD needs babyfaces teams. They've only got two at the moment, and one of those teams is reportedly being held off of TV for a while, so we're really down to just American Alpha on the babyface side while you have The Usos, The Ascension, and Breezango already on the heel side.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3

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KILLdozer
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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/18/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » Apr 20th, '17, 21:13

So I was watching this earlier on Hulu, as always. Then Bray Wyatt came on! I turned everything off, walked out the door and Left!
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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