BRM Reviews the 1/17/2017 Smackdown

Post Reply
User avatar
Big Red Machine
Posts: 27378
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12

BRM Reviews the 1/17/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 18th, '17, 02:35

Mauro tells us about the women’s title match in a steel cage. Then Shane shows up and Mauro mentions that it was Shane’s birthday on Sunday. Then he pitches it over to JBK who says that that it was Shane’s birthday on Sunday and mentions that he is excited for the women’s title steel cage match. What is the point of JBL saying this? If there is nothing left for him to say, why even have Mauro pitch it over to JBL?

OPENING SEGMENT- bad
The aforementioned Shane McMahon comes out and announces that the main event of Smackdown’s February PPV will be in an Elimination Chamber, because WWE has not learned the lesson that these gimmick matches don’t mean sh*t when they happen merely because it is their appointed season rather than because you’ve actually built to them.
AJ Styles comes out to protest. Shane talks down to him. The people all cheer for AJ so Shane talks him up a lot before burying his bad attitude… and which point the people turn on Shane again.
AJ started to be a good heel and let slip that he is worried because he’s never been in an Elimination Chamber match before. Cena came out. Then Miz, too, came out, and he and AJ exchanged otherwise good promos while Cena kept running around like an annoying little piece of sh*t and trying to comically (and I use that term EXTREMELY loosely) stir the pot. I was so hoping they would both just start beating the sh*t out of Cena he was sooooo damn annoying. Shane books AJ vs. Miz for right now. Or apparently right after this commercial.
The thing that really bothered me about this segment was the Elimination Chamber, combined with the presence of Cena and AJ. It made it feel obvious that they would just be facing off again with the title on the line right after the Rumble so it made their upcoming match at the Rumble feel pointless. Maybe this wouldn’t be so much of issue if they had spent a lot more time building up that this is Cena going for history, so that the finish of that match will still feel consequential (either Cena makes history or prevents him from doing so).

When we came back from commercial we got Miz vs. AJ.
No I’m just kidding. That would actually make sense. Instead we got a backstage segment with Ambrose and Shane. Can someone please give me one reason why this couldn’t wait until after the AJ vs. Miz match?
AMBROSE & SHANE BACKSTAGE- annoying.
Ambrose wants to be in the Elimination Chamber. Shane doesn’t give him an answer. He also says that he wants a new IC Title. Shane tells him that he can’t do that. Dude… you just ordered new titles for the other divisions and Raw just got new tag titles for absolutely no reason, so why can’t SD do the same thing?
Dean also wants revenge on the Wyatts for something that happened a few weeks ago that I have no memory of. Shane books him against Bray but Dean wants Orton so Shane gives him Orton instead.

AJ STYLES vs. THE MIZ (w/Maryse)- 6/10
Cena is on commentary, and they keep cutting to him. THERE’S A F*CKING MATCH GOING ON!
It wasn’t until right now that I realized that this is a heel vs. heel match, and WWE set it up in a way that felt completely natural. I want more of this sort of thing.
The match was good while it lasted. I liked the finish in that it should technically give Miz a DQ win over AJ which would justify Miz’s presence in the Elimination Chamber (while also obviously giving Cena his turn to stand tall at the end here to build up the match at the Royal Rumble.

NIKKI & NATTIE SEGMENT- Nikki calls Nattie out and wants to fight. It turns out that Nattie has taken a mic and is hanging out in the crowd. When Nikki spotted her she had the exact same reaction that I did: a very confused “what are you doing?” Then Nattie tells her to “watch the Tron” and then runs away, and Nikki and I both became even more confused.
She runs to the merch stand gets rightfully angry that there is NONE of her merch for sale. She points out that Nikki has some (right next to Cena’s) and that her “ex-uncle” Bret has some, too. Did I miss an angle where someone got disowned or something? Nattie delusionally claims that Nikki had something to do with her not having any merch for sale and says that both Nikki and Bret “will die alone.” Obviously Nattie is in the wrong here, but at the same time, I kind of feel bad for her because it does seem totally unfair that they’re not selling any of her merch.
She grabs all of Nikki’s merch and goes to throw it in the trash, which I think would have worked a lot better if she didn’t stop to explain to us what she was about to do. Maybe just limit it to “this stuff is just like Nikki Bella: trash” or something like that. Nikki finally got to where Nattie was and tackled her through a table and they brawled and bowled over the whole merch stand while security came to break them up but they got free and kept brawling for a bit before finally being restrained.
I LOVED this. Yes, some of the dialogue could have been improved and the deliveries could have been a bit better, but while I was watching this, 95% of my brain was occupied by thinking of how ridiculously cool it must have been to be one of the people on line at that particular merch stand to see an angle erupt right in front of you like that.

DASHA INTERVIEWS ALEXA BLISS!- good promo to build up the main event.

KURT ANGLE HALL OF FAME VIDEO PACKAGE- the problem with these is that seeing The Milkman Cometh clips makes me want to go watch Wind Beneath Our Ring, which leads me to about six other videos, and before you know it I’ve wasted twenty minutes watching funny wrestling clips on YouTube.

DEAN AMBROSE vs. RANDY ORTON (w/the Wyatt Family)- 5.75/10
Orton beat the crap out of Dean all match until the Harper accidentally distracts Randy so Dean can roll him up. This leads to….

TEHE MEGA-WYATTS EXPLODE! (Kind of)- Orton and Harper through a lot of punches at each other. Bray broke it up. He hit Harper as punishment but didn’t hit Randy. Harper walked off, clearly (and understandably unhappy).

DASHA INTERVIEWS BECKY LYNCH- decent

KING’S COURT WITH SPECIAL GUEST DOLPH ZIGGLER-
King tells Dolph that he have “always known you to be a good person.” Right. Because Dolph Ziggler has never been a heel before. Lawler warns Dolph not to be a heel because being a heel is bad.
Dolph has started talking in a very slow cadence. I get that he’s trying to change things up now that he’s a heel, but it comes off as phony.
Anyway, Dolph shows footage of him giving Lawler a bunch of elbow drops the night that Lawler had his heart attack. Then he took credit for the heart attack and threatened to murder Lawler. Lawler takes this pretty well, all things considered, merely calling Dolph a loser. Dolph floors him with a good, hard shot. JBL goes to check on Lawler, who demands that Dolph come back and face him but Dolph leaves.

BRAY WYATT PROMO- the Wyatts are entering the Rumble, but first Bray is going to let Randy and Harper settle their differences by punching it out next week. This all makes sense.

STEEL CAGE MATCH FOR THE WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE: Alexa Bliss!(c) vs. Becky Lynch- 5.75/10
What the point of even having a cage if anyone can just walk right in whenever the f*ck they want?
La Luchadora is unmasked as Mickie James. Being a supporting heel is the absolute opposite of what Mickie James should be doing right now. Who are the young wrestlers in the women’s division who could benefit from working a program with such an experienced veteran? Alexa and Carmella. Mickie should be the top babyface while Becky is cycled down the card.

So yeah… we only had three matches tonight and all of them had bad finishes, plus a bad segment between Lawler and Ziggler… and yet I somehow still really enjoyed this show. I’m not even sure why, but I had no problem sitting through it. Compare that to Impact, or even ROH and NXT sometimes (never mind Raw). I’ll try to put some thoughts together about what exactly it is that makes SD work tomorrow or Thursday. For now, though, I can sleep safely knowing that Alexa Bliss! and American Alpha are still champions, and likely will be for quite a while.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3

User avatar
cero2k
Site Admin
Posts: 20950
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 11:32

Re: BRM Reviews the 1/17/2017 Smackdown

Post by cero2k » Jan 18th, '17, 09:34

Big Red Machine wrote:
STEEL CAGE MATCH FOR THE WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE: Alexa Bliss!(c) vs. Becky Lynch- 5.75/10
What the point of even having a cage if anyone can just walk right in whenever the f*ck they want?
La Luchadora is unmasked as Mickie James. Being a supporting heel is the absolute opposite of what Mickie James should be doing right now. Who are the young wrestlers in the women’s division who could benefit from working a program with such an experienced veteran? Alexa and Carmella. Mickie should be the top babyface while Becky is cycled down the card.

i guess it's been long enough because she had no pop, maybe we can blame it on the cage obstructing view.
Image

User avatar
Big Red Machine
Posts: 27378
Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12

Re: BRM Reviews the 1/17/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 18th, '17, 09:49

cero2k wrote:
Big Red Machine wrote:
STEEL CAGE MATCH FOR THE WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE: Alexa Bliss!(c) vs. Becky Lynch- 5.75/10
What the point of even having a cage if anyone can just walk right in whenever the f*ck they want?
La Luchadora is unmasked as Mickie James. Being a supporting heel is the absolute opposite of what Mickie James should be doing right now. Who are the young wrestlers in the women’s division who could benefit from working a program with such an experienced veteran? Alexa and Carmella. Mickie should be the top babyface while Becky is cycled down the card.

i guess it's been long enough because she had no pop, maybe we can blame it on the cage obstructing view.

I'm certain that's what it was.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 23 guests