BRM Reviews the 1/3/2017 Smackdown

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 1/3/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Jan 4th, '17, 06:19

OPENING SEGMENT- Miz and Maryse come out. Miz cuts a promo putting himself over and saying that Smackdown will not continue until Renee Young comes out here and apologizes to him. Not just for slapping him two weeks ago, but he also accuses her of setting him up for Ambrose’s attack last week. He also makes sure to bring Daniel Bryan into it by accusing Renee of using her friendship with Daniel Bryan to get her boyfriend Dean Ambrose an IC Title match.
Finally Ambrose has heard enough ad he comes out… and of course Miz immediately hides behind Maryse. Maryse gets some payback for Miz, as now it is his blonde significant other doing the slapping on Dean. Miz and Maryse retreat. Dean picks up the mic and tells Miz “I guess the hard part of my night’s over, because she hits WAY harder than you do.”
This was a very good little segment. Unlike the Raw opening segments that we all dread, this one was nice and decently short and wasn’t a scripted conversation between people who should be fighting each other.

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. BARON CORBIN- 7.5/10
The match was very exciting, with some very well-timed hope spots for Dolph.
After Corbin hit a particularly stiff-looking clothesline, JBL said the following: “That’s like watching Michelangelo paint for someone who likes clotheslines.” Maybe JBL won’t suck this year?

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Corbin gets a chair to beat Dolph down with but Kalisto comes out and makes the save. Shouldn’t this have happened, like, a month ago? It feels like nothing is changing on this sho-WHOA DOLPH JUST TURNED HEEL ON KALISTO!
Kalisto eats a superkick and Dolph screams that “I DON’T NEED YOU! I DON’T NEED ANYONE!” Good stuff.

JAMES ELLSWORTH & CARMELLA BACKSTAGE- Ellsworth is a stereotypical loser who can barely form full sentences around women. Meanwhile, Carmella, a heel, is acting fantastically nice about everything.

ANGRY DOLLPH KICKS AND THROWS THINGS ALL OVER THE LOCKER ROOM- He is confronted by Apollo Crews over what he did to Kalsito. Dolph jumps him, so Rhyno and Mojo break it up.

BECKY LYNCH vs. LA LUCHADORA- no rating, meh segment.
I’m usually a fan of failed switcharoos that come back to bite the heels, but the interference in last week’s finish means that there was no reason for Alexa to have to tap out this week because Becky already deserves another title shot. I would have put more focus on the “who is La Luchadora?” mystery by having Becky be about to unmask her when Alexa runs in for the DQ.

CENA-AJ CONTRACT SIGNING- AJ GREAT, everyone else… not as good
AJ Styles wants to know exactly what John Cena has done to earn a title shot. Instead of Daniel Bryan saying that AJ used a chair on him in their last title match (at No Mercy), which would make sense, Bryan’s answer is merely “ratings! Momentum! Royal Rumble!” Between that bit and AJ’s framing of the whole thing from the beginning, it really feels like they’re trying to bury Bryan by portraying him as a sell-out… or a least portraying him as essentially having been converted to WWE’s way of thinking.
AJ then cut a SCATHING promo on Cena burying him for doubling back on his famous comments about The Rock last week on Talking Smack. Cena’s response was full of emotion, but there wasn’t much content there. He didn’t answer AJ’s criticisms. If, as Cena says, he “walks down that ramp every night because I want to,” then why didn’t he “want” to do so for the past three months? Just because it took longer for Cena to go to Hollywood than it took others to do so doesn’t mean that he still hasn’t given up on WWE for Hollywood (at least part of the time).
Corbin came out to say he was in the Royal Rumble and wants to fight Cena. Cena was willing to fight him, but AJ attacked Cena from behind.

MARYSE WALKS BY RENEE YOUNG BACKSTAGE… AND SLAPS THE SH*T OUT OF HER- geez! That looked like it was the complete opposite of fun. Props to Renee for being willing to take it. Her selling was great, as was Maryse yelling in her face. Renee reacted exactly like an interviewer being picked on by a wrestler should.

ALIYAH vs. CARMELLA (w/James Ellsworth)- 1/10
For the first time in her life, I think Carmella is the best worker in the ring. She won with help from Ellsworth.

AMERICAN ALPHA vs. TYLER BREEZE & FANDANGO- squash

WYATT FAMILY PROMO- actually decent for once. See what happens when you say things that have actual meaning instead of just being gobbledygook.

NATTIE & NIKKI TALKING SEGMENT-
Despite last week’s segment, Nikki managed to come off like a heel here… and that’s even with Nattie coming off as slightly delusional. It’s not that Nikki didn’t have some truth behind her comments about Nattie having gotten the majority of her schtik from her family legacy, but at this point I think most people recognize that there are very few- if any- wrestlers in WWE history who have been as underutilized as Nattie has, and people understand that the reason for that is because the pushes and opportunities were given to other women while Nattie was given crap like a farting gimmick, or at best was just booked as “Female Hart.” If Teddy Hart had a sister who had gone into the business she would have been stuck in the same spots Nattie was for the first chunk of her career.
No one is disputing that the Bellas have worked hard to become better workers than WWE ever meant for them to be when they hired them and no one is saying that their work ethic hasn’t been laudable. It’s just that there is no good kayfabe way for Nikki to respond to what Nattie said because if not the truth of the matter then at least the general perception of it is that the things Nattie said last week were basically the shoot truth. As a result, Nikki’s attempt to defend herself in this kayfabe setting- even with something that is also the shoot truth but doesn’t refute Nattie’s claims- comes off as her not understanding how the machinations of the system have caused her to benefit, and thus she comes off as frustratingly out of touch, even if that is not a kayfabe fair criticism.
Also, the way this ended kind of pissed me off. This was Nattie getting buried. I know that it’s a forearm shot and she might not have been prepared for it, but Nattie being completely knocked out by it and Nikki just casually strolling out of the ring made Nattie look like crap.

DASHA INTERVIEWS DEAN AMBROSE- Dean was good. Dasha stumbled over her words.

JACK GALLAGHER PROMO- After they made such a big deal out of the brand split, we’ve now got Raw guys cutting promos on Smackdown to hype up this third show. It’s driving me nuts. I’d really rather the Cruiserweights were their own thing and didn’t wrestle on Raw at all.
The promo itself was 100% meh.

WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH: The Miz(c) (w/Maryse) vs. Dean Ambrose- 8/10
Despite all of Miz and Maryse’s cheating, Dean wins… without even Renee coming out to get some revenge on Mayse during the match. That was kind of odd.

A great show to start off the year from Smackdown.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
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ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3

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