BRM Reviews the 9/20/2016 Smackdown (watch part of this show!)

[Big Red Machine]

WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE CONTRACT SIGNING- AWESOME.
Once again the show start off with Daniel Bryan and/or Shane McMahon in the ring giving a speech. Under these circumstances this would have been fine in a vacuum, but for a show where they told us it would be all about the wrestlers and not about the authority figures, it is happening well past often enough to be grating.
Bryan he wants this to be kept “civil,” which means no violence or insults. Unsurprisingly, the crowd booed this. Becky comes out first even though she’s the champion. Then Alexa Bliss! came out, and I could be wrong, but I don’t think we’ve ever seen her not in her gear before. Alexa is heeliest of all heels because she isn’t wearing a Connor’s Cure logo anywhere on her outfit.
Alexa says that Becky the type of loser who is destined to occasionally find a little bit f success but always have it slip away whenever she does. She could have saved us all a lot of time by just saying that Becky is Dolph Ziggler.
The promo they wrote for Alexa was basically just Generic Heel Diva Promo #3, but Alexa managed to infuse some of her usual almost self-righteous cockiness to make it feel less generic. Then Becky cut such an awesome babyface promo that it seemed like she made Alexa break character. Alexa recovered pretty well though (assuming she didn’t “break” on purpose in the first place).
Alexa hit Becky in the face with the big thing that holds the contract, then signed the contract and threw the whole thing at Becky. Then she violently tipped the table over onto Becky. Babyface authority figure Daniel Bryan who had just told us that he didn’t want any violence during this just stood there and watched. This is not the first time that Bryan has stood there and just watched an attack (Carmella on Nikki from Talking Smack also comes to mind). They’re making Bryan look like sh*t.
Anyway, Alexa walked off all arrogant and heelish and awesome, but awesome babyface Becky charged after her and grabbed her on the ramp and got a few punches in before Alexa managed to scamper off.

AMERICAN ALPHA ARE BACK AND ARE FACING THE USOS NEXT- We’re three weeks away from the PPV, so this seems kind of like a waste here. I’d hold them off for another week. Next week the Usos would be about to injure some other team (Slater would work best, as I think people would boo any attempt to injure a member of the Hype Bros.) when American Alpha would make their big return to make the save. This would set up the announcement of a PPV bout, and on the go-home show we have American Alpha get a win over some jobbers to prove they’re ready to go but then have the Usos attack them again, once again targeting Gable’s leg, but have Jordan quickly fend things off with a chair so we’re not repeating the same angle, but we are setting up the story for our PPV match.

BRYAN & MIZ (& MARYSE) BACKSTAGE- it turns out that, during the week, they renegotiated Miz’s contract. Apparently one of the terms of the contract was that if Miz refuses to participate in the match he is booked in, WWE can fire him. HOW THE F*CK WAS THAT NOT IN THE ORIGINAL CONTRACT?!

AMERICAN ALPHA IN-SET PROMO- fine.

#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH: American Alpha vs. The Usos- 6.25/10
After the match had already started, Mauro told us that this was also a #1 contendership match. Not only should American Alpha not have to earn a title shot (they had already advanced to the finals before the injury), but The Usos also lost clean to the Authors of Campaign at the PPV (never mind having been eliminated from the tournament by American Alpha beforehand.
They showed us Heath and Rhyno eating crackers and cheez whiz while watching the match backstage.
This was a good match and the spot with Jordan not tagging in the injured Gable was an interesting story to tell, but ultimately, this felt underwhelming. It was a waste of what could have been a big match.

RHYNO & SLATER PROMO- Rhyno shows no fear of American Alpha because, as he notes, they already beat them. Dumb comedy happens. Then The Usos showed up and cut a good promo. Rhyno needs to stop being a comedy character.

APOLLO CREWS vs. BARON CORBIN (again)- 3.25/10
Corbin wins again. More like Apollo Lose, amirite?
I couldn’t quite hear what JBL said, but definitely referred to one title as “the only” title Swagger has yet to win (Swagger was on commentary for this match). Swagger has not won ANY of the titles on Smackdown, nor has he won either the tag titles or Universal Title on Raw.

CURT HAWKINS FACTS- you wanted to know what could possibly make these worse? If he said them in funny voices. Worst of all was that one where he was talking about dreamcatchers and devolved into a stereotypical Native American voice.

NAOMI AND NIKKI PROMO- Naomi explains that “feeling the glow” is all about “being yourself” and “overcoming adversity” all of that generic crap. NO! She doesn’t need that. She is a fine babyface midcarder with a really cool entrance. This forced, melodramatic bullsh*t will only make her entrance feel less cool.
Naomi’s commentary about Nattie were lame. Nikki had some great words, but would have been better with a more passionate delivery. She wasn’t middle school play-level bad, but she was definitely not better than the bottom of the barrel of your average community theater troupe.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS DOLPH ZIGGLER- Dolph’s promos are SOOOOOO annoying. There came a point where I was desperately hoping that, completely out of nowhere, Renee would just jab him in the mouth with the microphone and knock his teeth out just to make him stop.
He brags about being a “Kent State Hall-of-Famer,” here in the middle of Alabama. For those who don’t know, Kent State is in Ohio, so of course no one in the crowd gave a sh*t.

WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH: The Miz(c) (w/Maryse) vs. Dolph Ziggler- 8.25/10
MIz is defending his title and kicking Dolph’s butt in the middle of the ring… and for some reason the crowd is chanting “COWARD!” at him. These two had an awesome match with a BEAUTIFUL finishing sequence. Everything from the moment the ref catches Maryse trying to interfere until the finish was laid out and executed SOOOOOO perfectly. GO WATCH IT!

RANDY ORTON vs. ERICK ROWAN- 2/10
So much for Erick Rowan being a scary part of Bray’ entourage.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Bray magically teleports Rowan out of the ring, leaving just a sheep mask. Is this supposed to scare anyone at this point? Or even surprise them? Or be interesting in any way? We’ve seen this a million times.
Then he takes over the TitanTron and cuts the same dull generic “I’m a god and gods can’t die so you should be afraid of how spooky I am, Randy The Serpent” promo that he has been cutting pretty much every week since this feud began an entire month ago.

NIKKI BELLA & NAOMI vs. CARMELLA & NATALYA- DUD!
Now Otunga is explaining to us that “feeling the glow” is “all about being yourself,” which makes it even less cool than when Naomi explained it.
A few seconds in, Nattie locked Nikki in the sharpshooter. Carmella pulled Nikki out of the ring and started to attack her on the outside… and the bell just rang for… a DQ, I guess? That was weird and contrived. And if you’re going to do a weird, contrived finish like this, can you at least give us an announcement of what the finish is so that it feels weird, but not completely contrived in the “the plot needed the bell to ring here to end the match, so it did” kind of way.
Also, if you’re going to have a finish like this, why have Nattie get pointlessly punked out by Naomi after the match? Even the announcers were saying that Nattie should be pissed at Carmella for making them lose a match that she had won.
For the record, I actually like the idea of Carmella being so focused on her hatred for Nikki that she would pull her out of her own teammate’s submission in order to beat her up more, but there is a better way to tell that story (and that involves a LOGICAL FINISH [like, for example, just have Carmella hit Nikki with a weapon after pulling her out of the ring or something).

CHARLY CARUSO INTERVIEWS AJ STYLES- great promo by AJ.

DEAN AMBROSE vs. JOHN CENA- 7.25/10
I was amazed that there were no promos to build this match up. I think that really would have helped this feel bigger than it was.
Well… that was probably the wrong finish. Now Cena looks even less worthy of a WWE Title shot.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- AJ lays them both out. Then Bryan shows up and says that Dean is getting a title shot next week. Dean deserves this… but getting it makes him not deserve the shot he is getting at the PPV, either.
Then Dean laid AJ out with Dirty Deeds so he could be the one standing tall when the show ended.

A very mixed bag show from Smackdown. Go watch the contract signing and the IC Title match, but you don’t need to watch anything else.

[KILLdozer]

It's *The one man -beast!!"

[Big Red Machine]

It's *The one man -beast!!"

No. That name is dumb.

[cero2k]

It's *The one man -beast!!"

No. That name is dumb.

they're already being referenced sometimes as Beauty and The Man-Beast

[Big Red Machine]

It's *The one man -beast!!"

No. That name is dumb.

they're already being referenced sometimes as Beauty and The Man-Beast

Which is even worse, and thus I refuse to acknowledge it (like Kidd & Cesaro as the "Masters of the WWE Universe").

[NWK2000]

The Rock n' Roll Beasts!