BRM Reviews the 8/2/2016 Smackdown

[Big Red Machine]

SHANE, BRYAN, & ORTON BACKSTAGE- meh
They watch footage of Orton jumping Brock on Raw. Shane scolds Randy for having “jeopardized everything.” Why? What has he jeopardized? They said that Brock will probably try to invade Smackdown attack Randy before SummerSlam, so they got Randy a bunch of security guards. Shane talks about “repercussions” and I don’t know if he means an attack by Brock or Randy being punished for appearing on the other show, but I really hope he means the latter. If there are no repercussions for appearing on the other show, then why don’t guys go do it all the time? What’s to stop Gallows and Anderson from showing up on Smackdown to help AJ, or Bray Wyatt from going to Raw to give instructions to Braun Strowman? It almost makes the whole roster split meaningless.

SHANE, BRYAN, & MIZ (& MARYSE) BACKSTAGE- bad
Miz is upset that he didn’t a big celebration like Dean did when he retained his title at Battleground to keep it on Smackdown. This is definitely something Miz should be upset about, but like Kevin Owens last night, it’s not something I can see Miz waiting a week to complain about. Miz should have been complaining about this last week. The only reason he didn’t do so appears to be “because they wanted him to do something else last week” and if that is the best answer you can come up with, you need to rethink your plans.
Bryan books Kalisto vs. Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin in a #1 contendership match last night. Three guys who lost last week randomly being given a title shot. Because that’s worked so well for TNA for the past half a decade.

SHANE, BRYAN, & DEAN BACKSTAGE- Dean said… something. I could barely understand him.
What happened to that cool opening montage of promos they were doing in the few weeks before the draft? I liked that framing device a lot better.

DEAN AMBROSE & DOLPH ZIGGLER SEGMENT- Dean comes out and cuts a big babyface promo about what the title means to him. Then he calls out Dolph. Dean was a huge jerk. Ziggler acknowledges that he was a member of the Spirit Squad. That seems like a breach of kayfabe to me. And if you’re going to talk about Dolph “starting at the bottom” by saying he was a male cheerleader, why not bring up his time as Chavo Guerrero… sorry, “Kerwin White”’s caddy?
Douchebag Dean says that the difference between him and Dolph is that Dolph “complained” about his lack of success and not being seen as “championship material.” When did this happen? When, on-screen, has Dolph Ziggler ever complained about this? Dean also accused Dolph of being “too worried about what the fans think of you.” Is Dean still supposed to be a babyface? Because it sure doesn’t feel like it. He accused Dolph of being too worried about his hair and about what “the office” thinks of him. When has any of this ever come up on screen. Dean isn’t cutting a promo on Dolph Ziggler here. He’s cutting a promo on Nick Nemeth.
Dolph then cut a great babyface promo, but he started it by saying that he was the kid who, at age five, went to his first WWE “live event.” It’s a “show.” Just call it a “show.” Please. Drop this awkward-sounding WWE jargon.
Ambrose had a great response to Dolph, saying “There’s no conspiracy against you. There’s nobody holding you down. You want to know what your problem is? You’re not as good as you think you are.” Then Dean walked off pointedly and I was about to talk about what a great segment this was... but then Wyatt Family magic took over the TV screen and lights went out and Bray teleported into the ring and laid Dolph out. WHY? Why not just leave this great segment as what it was?
Bray cuts a promo on Dolph, saying that Dolph should put his #1 contendership on the line tonight against Bray. Why? Why would Dolph agree to this? He doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone. That’s what last week’s #1 contendership match was about!

David Otunga got to talk up what will apparently be a big promo by AJ Styles later tonight… and it really hit me what one of his big problems as an announcer is: his voice just doesn’t sound authoritative enough. He comes across like an amateur trying very hard instead of a professional doing his job.

SHANE, BRYAN, & DOLPH BACKSTAGE- Dolph wants the match with Bray, with Bray’s stips. Bryan calls him out for being a total idiot. Dolph ranted like a crazy man, claiming that no one thinks he deserves this thing that he clearly won fair and square. Didn’t he hear the fans pop when he won? He came across as the most insecure person ever.

IC TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHP MATCH: Kalisto vs. Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin- 4.75/10
The announced botched Crews’ home town. Miz and Maryse were on commentary. This was a short three-way. Crews pinned Kalisto by roll-up.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- good
Corbin attacks Kalisto from behind. Crews comes back to make the save, but Miz attacks him from behind and lays him out with the Skull-Crushing Finale. Then Crews attacked Miz and laid him out with the End of Days.

BECKY LYNCH vs. EVA MARIE- no rating.
I love this new Eva entrance. It’s the most over the top thing ever, and is exactly the sort of thing Eva would want for her entrance. In order to make this gimmick work, she now has to get squashed like a bug. And I mean like one of those squashes Erick Stevens was doing when he debuted in ROH. Thirty seconds they’re out of there.
Eva appears to be faking an injury to get out of the match. Becky wins by forfeit. Well… we’ll see where this is going.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS CARMELLA- they’re sitting at the pre/post-show panel desk. Nattie shows up to bully Carmella. She name-drops Bret the way Tyson Kidd would as a heel in NXT. It’s great. Then they force Nattie to recite sh*tty WWE dialogue. Have they not watched Total Divas? Nattie is an awesome promo when they let her use her own words.
The end result of this was Carmella challenging Nattie to a match for later tonight.

AMERICAN ALPHA vs. THE VAUDEVILLAINS- no rating, good segment.
No entrance for the Vaudevillains. This was a perfect introduction to American Alpha, including the fact that Gable will be Ricky Morton.

CENA & AJ SEGMENT- too long.
The fans are chanting something at AJ. I think it’s “soccer mother.”
I got a kick out of AJ’s line that “Nashville, Tennessee has the weakest of minds. Trust me. I know.” A nice subtle burial of TNA. The rest of this was… fine. Certainly not bad, but not great either. The guided “Let’s go Cena!”/”Cena sucks!” dueling chants are starting to annoy me. This turned into the standard “John Cena loves/appreciates the fans” thing. It’s not that it’s bad, but I’ve heard it so many times over the past few years, in basically every major feud Cena has had going back to The Rock and the build-up to WrestleMania XXVII.
Cena managed to botch his own catchphrase, accidentally saying “honor, loyalty, and respect.” AJ challenged Cena to a match at SummerSlam. Cena said yes. This felt like an extremely long way to get to something that could have been relatively simple. AJ’s last line was great. There could be something to this if they turn this “loser must admit that the winner is better” thing into a stip (assuming AJ wins).

RANDY ORTON vs. FANDANGO (w/Tyler Breeze)- no rating. Okay segment.
Apparently this match stems from comments that Orton made about Fandango at Battleground. Nice to see these things actually lead to something. Brock showed up. Security barely tried to stop him as he hopped the guardrail and gave Orton an F-5, causing a DQ. His work now done, Brock left. This didn’t feel any different than any other pro wrestling attack.

HEATH SLATER & DANIEL BRYAN BACKSTAGE-
Well… at least this week they came up with a reason for how Heath got into the building (security was busy dealing with Brock). Bryan offers Heath a match next week, and if Heath can win, he will get a WWE contract. Heath wonders if his opponent will be “Marty Lunde.” I don’t think Heath has a chance in hell of beating that guy. It turns out his opponent will be someone else Heath doesn’t have a chance in hell of beating: Rhyno… who somehow managed to get close enough to Heath to run up and GORE him without Heath seeing him coming… despite the fact that he came at Heath from the front.
Heath being injured was played for laughs.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS DEAN AMBROSE- Dean has to be a heel now. That’s the only way this makes sense.
Dean comments about how awkward this desk set is. Then Dean made fun of Dolph… and was even a bit of a jerk to Renee.

NEW GIRL TRIES TO INTERVIEW RANDY- she asks him what his condition is after being attacked by Brock. He ignores her and walks off.

NATALYA vs. CARMELLA- no rating, good segment.
Nattie jumps Carmella from behind and beats the crap out of her. David Otunga claims Bret Hart never jumped anyone from behind. He was a heel for long enough that I doubt this is true.

DANIEL BRYAN & SHANE MCMAHON TRY TO TALK DOLPH OUT OF BEING AN IDIOT- Dolph thinks they don’t believe in him and tells them “screw you,” before walking off.

WINNER GETS A WWE TITLE SHOT AT SUMMERSLAM: Bray Wyatt vs. Dolph Ziggler- 6.75/10
A very good match, but I’m really not a fan of Dolph needing to use the exposed turnbuckle to win. Obviously it could set up for a rematch, but Dolph would have to win that, too, which would just be pointless stalling of the storyline.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh.
Erick Rowan jumped Dolph after the match. Dean came in to make the save, but between Rowan and Bray they beat him down as well. Bray then hit Dolph with Sister Abigail, so I guess we’re getting a tag team match next week.

An okay episode of Smackdown. At least it was easy to sit through.

[cero2k]

WINNER GETS A WWE TITLE SHOT AT SUMMERSLAM: Bray Wyatt vs. Dolph Ziggler- 6.75/10
A very good match, but I’m really not a fan of Dolph needing to use the exposed turnbuckle to win. Obviously it could set up for a rematch, but Dolph would have to win that, too, which would just be pointless stalling of the storyline.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh.
Erick Rowan jumped Dolph after the match. Dean came in to make the save, but between Rowan and Bray they beat him down as well. Bray then hit Dolph with Sister Abigail, so I guess we’re getting a tag team match next week.

I figure Dolph is slowly gonna turn heel, which likely means he could end up with the title at some point

[Big Red Machine]

WINNER GETS A WWE TITLE SHOT AT SUMMERSLAM: Bray Wyatt vs. Dolph Ziggler- 6.75/10
A very good match, but I’m really not a fan of Dolph needing to use the exposed turnbuckle to win. Obviously it could set up for a rematch, but Dolph would have to win that, too, which would just be pointless stalling of the storyline.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh.
Erick Rowan jumped Dolph after the match. Dean came in to make the save, but between Rowan and Bray they beat him down as well. Bray then hit Dolph with Sister Abigail, so I guess we’re getting a tag team match next week.

I figure Dolph is slowly gonna turn heel, which likely means he could end up with the title at some point

This is what I figure, too. NWK and I were discussing doing a fantasy booking thing where he did Raw and I did SD, and this was one of the first ideas I had (although I would have based it on Ziggler being jealous of Ambrose's success, claiming the fans abandoned him in favor of Dean), simply because there is an imbalance of potential top-level faces and heels (BF: Cena, Orton, Ambrose, Dolph. Heel: AJ, Del Rio [I didn't count Bray as a potential top-level heel, though, both because of my own dislike for the character and my feelings that he needs some sort of change requiring him to be temporarily de-pushed]), and when you look at the possible choices, Dolph is obviously the guy to turn: They won't turn Cena, turning Ambrose right now would be a HUGE mistake, and babyface Orton is one of the most fresh acts in the company.

[cero2k]

I figure Dolph is slowly gonna turn heel, which likely means he could end up with the title at some point

This is what I figure, too. NWK and I were discussing doing a fantasy booking thing where he did Raw and I did SD, and this was one of the first ideas I had (although I would have based it on Ziggler being jealous of Ambrose's success, claiming the fans abandoned him in favor of Dean), simply because there is an imbalance of potential top-level faces and heels (BF: Cena, Orton, Ambrose, Dolph. Heel: AJ, Del Rio [I didn't count Bray as a potential top-level heel, though, both because of my own dislike for the character and my feelings that he needs some sort of change requiring him to be temporarily de-pushed]), and when you look at the possible choices, Dolph is obviously the guy to turn: They won't turn Cena, turning Ambrose right now would be a HUGE mistake, and babyface Orton is one of the most fresh acts in the company.[/quote]
they way i figure it can happen is like Christian's heel turn on Orton, where he sees this as his last chance to be on top, he knows he's now part of the old guard with all the new kids coming in, and he will stop at nothing to win and retain the title