BRM Reviews the 4/14/2016 Smackdown

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Big Red Machine
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Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12

BRM Reviews the 4/14/2016 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Apr 15th, '16, 16:02

HOLY F*CKING SH*T WE’RE GETTING ALBERTO DEL RIO VS. AJ STYLES AND SAMI ZAYN VS. CHRIS JERICHO!

MARYSE INTRODUCES THE MIZ- yeah. They’re totally ripping off Mike and Maria in TNA, which is a shame because 1) they’re not doing anywhere near as good a job with it as Mike and Maria do, and 2) Miz and Maryse have so much potential doing their own thing.

MIZ TV WITH SPECIAL GUEST MARYSE- They are insufferable together. Zack Ryder interrupts them while they are making out. Their exchange of barbs was good, but once they made Ryder start spewing their standard WWE dialogue, it got bad.

So Ryder gets Miz to put the IC Title on the line against him, as is the will of the fans… it turns out that Miz was only agreeing to this match to be a tease because apparently he and Maryse already knew that Ryder was scheduled to face Baron Corbin tonight, but Ryder was apparently unaware of this. So WWE officials told Miz & Maryse who Ryder was wrestling tonight, but didn’t tell Ryder himself? How stupid is that?! So now Lilian is doing the introductions even though we have no official out here and the Miz TV set- chairs, carpet, and all- still in the ring.

ZACK RYDER vs. BARON CORBIN- 4/10
The match was fine for what it was. Mauro said that Baron Corbin collects the decapitated skulls of his defeated opponents. That was a strange thing to say. Well… we haven’t seen Dolph since he lost to Corbin, so maybe Corbin’s gimmick on the main roster will be that he is Jeffery Dahmer.
Oh. Never mind. There’s Dolph, making the save and still fully capitated.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS KEVIN OWENS- the words were great and the delivery was great but it exposes one big problem in this company that has been created by their almost single-minded focus on Raw to the detriment of the other shows (and particularly Smackdown): Owens said that Zayn was lucky that Shane McMahon had security remove him from the building on Raw because he would have interfered in Sami’s match, but there is no one to stop him from doing that tonight.
Well… why isn’t there? Who is even running this show? It’s not Shane, it doesn’t seem like it’s Vince, and it if was The Authority you’d think they’d be out here so Hunter can address the fans, right? So who the hell is running this show and why aren’t they going to do anything about the guy threatening to ruin their big match?

EMMA vs. PAIGE- 4.5/10
Emma cut a good inset promo explaining her heel turn in a few quick sentence. Byron Saxton responded to this by saying it seems like Emma has been “eating that bitter sandwich.” And THIS is the guy who is on commentary for both Raw and Smackdown. AND PPVs. AND even f*cking Superstars!
Emma worked the head and neck and picked up the win. Hooray for Emma!

RECAP OF TOURNAMENT NEWS AND THE BULLET CLUB DEBUT- Mauro mentioned that they were former IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions, but didn’t mention that Anderson is also a multiple-time former tag champ with Albert/Matt Bloom/Tensai/Giant Bernard.

COMMERCIAL FEATURING ROMAN REIGNS- I don’t quite know what this commercial was supposed to be advertising as it ended with USA logo super-imposed over a shot of a WWE crowd, but it didn’t mention Roman, Raw, Smackdown, or even WWE itself by name. Whatever it was, it was a fine miniature video package for Roman’s new tweener gimmick. It is also exactly the kind of commercial they should have been running to advertise Smackdown’s debut on USA instead of the dumb typical USA comedy commercials they were running.

TAG TEAM #1 CONTENDERSHIP TOURNAMENT FIRST-ROUND MATCH: Colin Cassady & Enzo Amore vs. The Ascension- 4.75/10

JOJO INTERVIEWS AJ- His promo was fine. Then Del Rio showed up and cut a good promo on AJ.

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. AJ STYLES- 7.5/10
I want to see these guys go twenty-five minutes SOOOOO badly.

GOLDEN TRUTH BACKSTAGE- Goldust says that they’re not a team so he got the match changed. It will now be Goldango (that’s Goldust & Fandango). This led to more dumb WWE comedy.

TAG TEAM #1 CONTENDERSHIP TOURNAMENT FIRST-ROUND MATCH: Goldust & Fandango vs. Vaudevillains- 3/10

JOJO INTERVIEWS CHRIS JERICHO- okay

THE COLONS WANT US TO VISIT PUERTO RICO- is this pro wrestling or a travel agency?

SAMI ZAYN vs. CHRIS JERICHO- 6.5/10
Ah dammit! I had totally forgot about Owens. So much for a clean finish.
Oh. Okay. Good. Here is Ambrose here to stop Owens.
Or not. He’s handing out cheaply-made “Ambrose Asylum” flyers.
When we get back from commercial, both Ambrose and Owens are on commentary. This is not what Kevin Owens should be doing in this situation. He should be assaulting Sami Zayn. They won’t shut up about Ambrose’s “new talk show,” so I guess Ambrose thinks he is taking over the Highlight Reel permanently.
Jericho went over and assaulted Ambrose at ringside, and by this point it was quite welcome. They also did a spot where Jericho got back body dropped onto Owens. The finish came soon after when Zayn was about to go for the Helluva Kick but Owens ran in for the DQ. Owens and Jericho double-teamed Zayn, then Ambrose made the save. The babyfaces won the day. If you were going to f*cking DQ in this match (and not only that, but one that you had all but advertised beforehand!), why not just let AJ vs. Del Rio be the main event so we can actually have a clean finish with the #1 contender going over? Please?

An okay episode of Smackdown. Just watch the AJ vs. Del Rio match and Enzo’s promo.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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KILLdozer
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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/14/2016 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » Apr 19th, '16, 15:43

On Raw he said Baron Corbin collects skulls like home runs lmao ...it just sounded so fuckin' stupid and over The top ridiculous comin' out of his mouth.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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