BRM Reviews the 1/28/2016 Smackdown

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- New Day are upset about The Rock being mean to them. So is Miz. Then the Usos show up and they’re kind of coming off like dicks. Also, apparently they had Titus O’Neil and DOlph Ziggler set up as backup. That’s random.

THE MIZ & THE NEW DAY vs. THE USOS, DOLPH ZIGGLER, & TITUS O’NEIL- 6/10
Completely out of nowhere, Lawler has to bring up The Rock’s comments about Lana. Mauro says he’d rather not talk about it because Mauro Ranallo is a f*cking professional.

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: Kalisto(c) vs. Adrian Neville- 6.75/10
I’m not sure what Neville has done to earn this title shot, but we all know he won’t win and the match should be awesome, so I won’t complain too much.
This match should have been the main event and should have gotten about fifteen more minutes than it did.

CHRIS JERICHO’S HIGHLIGHT REEL WITH SPECIAL GUESTS DEAN AMBROSE & ROMAN REIGNS-
Jericho wants to know if having to face each other in a big match will hurt their friendship. Considering that this just happened a few months ago at Survivor Series and they’re still best friends, I’d say that it won’t.
Then they talk about Brock for a big and Roman insists that Brock is “different.”
Then the Wyatt Family magically showed up to interrupt. I’m not quite sure, but I think he said that if Roman wants to win the world title, he’ll need to eat someone’s heart to do so.
Then Bray used his magical powers to end this segment and turn it into a graphic hyping up AJ Styles’ Smackdown debut.

WOW! It’s a good thing the Wyatts decided to randomly interrupt the Highlight Reel or else we wouldn’t have had a main event.

SOCIAL OUTCASTS PROMO- why can’t the Wyatts ever interrupt dumb sh*t like this?

AJ STYLES vs. CURTIS AXEL (w/the Social Outcasts)- 4/10
Mauro said the words “New Japan Pro Wrestling” and “IWGP Heavyweight Champion.” Lawler yelled at him for it.
The match was fine for what it was, but I thought AJ giving Axel any offense at all was a mistake. He should have gone in there and squashed Axel, then fought off a post-match attack from the rest of the Legion of Doomed.

NATALYA vs. CHARLOTTE (w/RIc Flair)- 4.75/10 but great for the time it got.
Nattie’s inset promo was way too smiley.
Charlotte won with the Figure Eight but also locked it in after the match because she’s an asshole. Becky Lynch made the save.

NIKKI BELLA SURGERY ANNOUNCEMENT- The idea that WWE found out that Nikki would need to get surgery from E! News is ridiculous.

GOLDUST & TRUTH COMEDY SEGMENT- It’s daylight outside at nighttime. Weird.
My best guess as to how this all came about is the following: WWE Creative figured that if Booker T and Goldust were entertaining, then putting Goldust with a different African American with that hair style will be equally entertaining.

ROMAN REIGNS, DEAN AMBROSE, & CHRIS JERICHO vs. THE WYATT FAMILY (w/Braun Strowman)- 6.75/10
A pretty good match ending in a DQ. If you were going to do a DQ, why wasn’t this the semi-main event and Kalisto vs. Neville the main event (which would also make the US Title look more important)?

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- The Wyatts beat up Roman until Big Show comes out and makes the save, so I guess he is a babyface now. The babyfaces all fought off the Wyatts and if I had any faith this would lead to an eight man tag, I would say this all mattered, but I don’t so I won’t.

Smackdown is back to feeling like a waste of time, but Mauro makes it mostly bearable.
Also, apparently Brock will be on Raw next week.

[XIV]

I hated the Lawler rant about everything meaning nothing before WWE.

It shat on AJ, it shat on Mauro, he shat on himself and it was pointless considering the other announce team at RR AND RAW mentioned his accomplishments and that he's an 18 year veteran.

It seems counter-productive to then shit on that a couple of days later. Which is why I'm fairly sure that just came out of the King and probably not his headset first.

I hate Lawler. He literally had me wanting him to have another heart attack so that he would just go away for a bit.

[KILLdozer]

Yeah it's awfully strange how all basically everyone does is talk like everything is Pro -Indie and NJPW, ROH , etc etc...now I hear of this. Ok then.