BRM Reviews the 9/3/2015 Smackdown

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 9/3/2015 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 7th, '15, 12:53

NEW DAY PROMO- remember when they weren’t idiots talking about saving furniture. This stupid company just can’t f*cking resist turning everything into comedy, and then they wonder why no one gets over.
Then the Dudleys showed up and said they’d put someone through a table. Bubba tried to get his stupid TNA “do you know who we are?!” catchphrase over and no one cheered, so that proves that no one watches TNA. Then the Prime Time Players showed up and Titus told the Dudleys that they need to “earn” a shot at the tag titles. This would have been fine if the Dudleys had not already defeated the tag team champions.

THE DUDLEY BOYS vs. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS- 4/10
The New Day are, of course, on commentary, because that’s what WWE does. While on commentary, they bury all of the times that PTP have done guest commentary. PTP look like chumps losing after Titus’ promo. Meanwhile, the Dudleys have been back in the company for two weeks and have already defeated half of the tag team division.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS THE NEW DAY- this established that New Day did not realize that they have a match tonight against Dean and Roman, which makes either them look like idiots for not knowing or makes WWE look like idiots for not telling them. This was all done so that Xavier could play a sad note on his trombone.

It’s been TWO WEEKS and they’re still making a point to show us “what happened at Summer Slam” with Stephen Amell wrestling. It’s infuriating. Meanwhile, all they tell us is that “Stardust and King Barrett have been in a mood ever since.” “Been in a mood?!” That’s a f*cking understatement! Stardust ASSAULTED BARRETT! But we can’t show that because we’ve got to remind everyone that a celebrity wanted to be involved with us! YAY!

STARDUST vs. NEVILLE- no rating. Decent segment.
The match never gets started because The Ascension jump Neville. It turns out they are Stardust’s new henchmen. I shall call this trio Jobber-lution.

JOJO INTERVIEWS CESARO- it took effort to get both of their heads in the same camera shot. Cesaro and Sheamus apparently have a match together, so this turned into a segment with the two of them. It was very good. Sheamus’ promo made an angle out of Cesaro’s losing streak.

SHEAMUS vs. CESARO- 6.5/10
Cesaro’s ribs are taped up. Nice to see that his match with Owens on Raw will actually have some consequences. I assume they did this to give him an excuse for his loss, but that won’t mean anything if he doesn’t get his big win at the end of all this.

MIZ TV WITH DOLPH ZIGGLER, SUMMER RAE, & LANA- eh segment.
Summer claims she and Dolph have had an on-and-off thing for a while, and proves it with the last thing I’d have ever expected to see in a WWE angle: CONTINUITY! She shows a clips of the two of them kissing from an episode of Raw in June 2014. Summer taunts Lana, so Lana attacks her. Dolph pulls Lana off of Summer. Why? Doesn’t he want her to get revenge on this lying b*tch? (And speaking of “b*tch,” Summer called Lana one multiple times, VERY loudly, also screaming “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”).
And speaking of Truth…

R-TRUTH vs. BO DALLAS- 3/10
Eden Styles marked out for Truth’s rapping. She is a very good employee.
So we’ve got this match between two jobbers… and they hype it up by showing us Brock murderizing one of them a few weeks ago. The match was good for the time it got… but I can’t get over the fact that the whole point of this match seems to have been to build up a jobber so he can get murderized by Brock at MSG and then go back to being a jobber again.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS PCB- the more they put these three women on TV together in segments designed to show us how they’re great friends, the more I start to hate them and wish I would never have to see them again. For your own good, I’d advise that you fast-forward through this promo until the last little bit where the camera zooms in solely on Charlotte and cuts a good promo to hype up her upcoming title match.
Then the Bellas showed up so Nikki could remind us about her countdown clock gimmick. Charlotte said she asked the Authority if she could have her title match before Nikki breaks the record. Keep in mind that just about a minute ago, Paige told us that this whole Divas Revolution had to happen because the Authority was backing the Bellas and not being fair to anyone else. So why the hell would they give Charlotte the match early if Nikki doesn’t want it?!
And to make things worse, they had to end it with Charlotte actually explaining to Nikki (and by extension us viewers at home) that if the Authority grants her request to have a title match with Nikki before Nikki breaks the record and Charlotte wins that title match, that means that Charlotte will win the title and also that Nikki won’t break the record. Thanks, assholes, but I’m pretty sure everyone watching already figured that out on their own. Still, I guess it’s nice to see how highly WWE thinks of its audience.

CHARLOTTE (w/Becky Lynch & Paige) vs. TAMINA (w/Sasha Banks & Naomi)- 1/10
The Divas Revolution is so important that Tamina didn’t get an entrance. The match went 3:18. LONG LIVE THE DIVAS REVOLUTION!
After the match Team Bella came out to pose on the ramp because otherwise we might forget they are involved in this feud, I guess.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS KEVIN OWENS- Owens cut a promo that seems to turn him completely and totally babyface, calling people out for making fun of the way he looks. He also said “feed me more” which would indicate he is going after Ryback, which would make him a heel (in WWE’s “we must have face vs. heel” world, anyway).

ROMAN REIGNS & DEAN AMBROSE vs. THE NEW DAY (w/Xavier Woods)- 6.25/10
You wanted Dean and Roman to get a tag team win. I get it. They’ve been made to look pretty week since Braun Strowman showed up... so how about giving them a win THAT ISN’T BY DQ?! “But BRM,” WWE Creative argues, “we can’t have them beat the New Day cleanly because the New Day are the tag champs.” Well here’s an idea for you, then: BOOK DEAN AND ROMAN AGAINST SOMEONE F*CKING ELSE! The New Day were already on this show doing commentary in the opener. They’ve gotten their feud over and done what they needed to do. They DON’T NEED TO WRESTLE ON THIS SHOW! “But BRM, no one else that Dean and Roman can face will feel like a main event.” Well then DON’T MAKE IT THE F*CKING MAIN EVENT! All it is is a set-up for Bray’s challenge so the match itself isn’t really important, so it doesn’t need to be against main event quality opponents.


An unusually newsworthy episode of Smackdown, but still a frustrating one. Better than usual, though.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Jerry Lawler referred to Braun Strowman as the “skeleton in the closet” of Bray Wyatt, showing us that Jerry does not know what the express “skeleton in the closet” means.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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cero2k
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/3/2015 Smackdown

Post by cero2k » Sep 7th, '15, 13:04

Big Red Machine wrote: STARDUST vs. NEVILLE- no rating. Decent segment.
The match never gets started because The Ascension jump Neville. It turns out they are Stardust’s new henchmen. I shall call this trio Jobber-lution.
i'm disappointed by your lack of comic book villain puns.

MIZ TV WITH DOLPH ZIGGLER, SUMMER RAE, & LANA- eh segment.
Summer claims she and Dolph have had an on-and-off thing for a while, and proves it with the last thing I’d have ever expected to see in a WWE angle: CONTINUITY! She shows a clips of the two of them kissing from an episode of Raw in June 2014. Summer taunts Lana, so Lana attacks her. Dolph pulls Lana off of Summer. Why? Doesn’t he want her to get revenge on this lying b*tch? (And speaking of “b*tch,” Summer called Lana one multiple times, VERY loudly, also screaming “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”).
if this doesn't end with a Ziggler heel turn, i will rage
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Big Red Machine
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/3/2015 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 7th, '15, 13:09

cero2k wrote:
Big Red Machine wrote: STARDUST vs. NEVILLE- no rating. Decent segment.
The match never gets started because The Ascension jump Neville. It turns out they are Stardust’s new henchmen. I shall call this trio Jobber-lution.
i'm disappointed by your lack of comic book villain puns.
I was going to go with Job-tastic Four, but there's only three of them. I also could have called them Batroc's Brigade, but that would be too mean.
MIZ TV WITH DOLPH ZIGGLER, SUMMER RAE, & LANA- eh segment.
Summer claims she and Dolph have had an on-and-off thing for a while, and proves it with the last thing I’d have ever expected to see in a WWE angle: CONTINUITY! She shows a clips of the two of them kissing from an episode of Raw in June 2014. Summer taunts Lana, so Lana attacks her. Dolph pulls Lana off of Summer. Why? Doesn’t he want her to get revenge on this lying b*tch? (And speaking of “b*tch,” Summer called Lana one multiple times, VERY loudly, also screaming “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”).
if this doesn't end with a Ziggler heel turn, i will rage
That would require a Rusev face turn, so I wouldn't bet on it.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
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Bulletclubfan2014
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/3/2015 Smackdown

Post by Bulletclubfan2014 » Sep 7th, '15, 16:18

"Big Red Machine"]NEW DAY PROMO- remember when they weren’t idiots talking about saving furniture. This stupid company just can’t f*cking resist turning everything into comedy, and then they wonder why no one gets over.
I actually disagree New Day is so good at this they're actually getting me to boo the Dudley's and scream SAVE THE TABLES!!!!!! at the top of my lungs every time the Dudley's come out as well as cheer the new Day (altho that's not a very important note because New Day have been over with me since about a week or 2 after they turned Heel in either April or May)
You thought you had all the answers I changed the question -Rowdy Roddy Piper

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Big Red Machine
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/3/2015 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 7th, '15, 16:20

Bulletclubfan2014 wrote:
"Big Red Machine"]NEW DAY PROMO- remember when they weren’t idiots talking about saving furniture. This stupid company just can’t f*cking resist turning everything into comedy, and then they wonder why no one gets over.
I actually disagree New Day is so good at this they're actually getting me to boo the Dudley's and scream SAVE THE TABLES!!!!!! at the top of my lungs every time the Dudley's come out as well as cheer the new Day (altho that's not a very important note because New Day have been over with me since about a week or 2 after they turned Heel in either April or May)
That's kind of strange because I've noticed that since they started this "save the tables" BS, they are getting booed a lot more than they were after the heel turn.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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Bulletclubfan2014
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/3/2015 Smackdown

Post by Bulletclubfan2014 » Sep 7th, '15, 16:24

Big Red Machine wrote:
Bulletclubfan2014 wrote:
"Big Red Machine"]NEW DAY PROMO- remember when they weren’t idiots talking about saving furniture. This stupid company just can’t f*cking resist turning everything into comedy, and then they wonder why no one gets over.
I actually disagree New Day is so good at this they're actually getting me to boo the Dudley's and scream SAVE THE TABLES!!!!!! at the top of my lungs every time the Dudley's come out as well as cheer the new Day (altho that's not a very important note because New Day have been over with me since about a week or 2 after they turned Heel in either April or May)
That's kind of strange because I've noticed that since they started this "save the tables" BS, they are getting booed a lot more than they were after the heel turn.
GOOD they're Heels they're supposed to get booed I usually just cheer whichever wrestler/team I'm more entertained by/who has better matches and New Day IMO are the most entertaining thing in WWE right now
You thought you had all the answers I changed the question -Rowdy Roddy Piper

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Big Red Machine
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/3/2015 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » Sep 7th, '15, 16:41

Bulletclubfan2014 wrote:
Big Red Machine wrote: That's kind of strange because I've noticed that since they started this "save the tables" BS, they are getting booed a lot more than they were after the heel turn.
GOOD they're Heels they're supposed to get booed
Which is, I think, why WWE is trying to make them do dumb crap and has put them against the Dudleys. Because they figure that will get them booed.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
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Bulletclubfan2014
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Re: BRM Reviews the 9/3/2015 Smackdown

Post by Bulletclubfan2014 » Sep 7th, '15, 18:55

Big Red Machine wrote:
Bulletclubfan2014 wrote:
Big Red Machine wrote: That's kind of strange because I've noticed that since they started this "save the tables" BS, they are getting booed a lot more than they were after the heel turn.
GOOD they're Heels they're supposed to get booed
Which is, I think, why WWE is trying to make them do dumb crap and has put them against the Dudleys. Because they figure that will get them booed.
Which they're still failing because while I admit it's stupid New Day are so entertaining they're actually gonna get me to watch Night Of Champions in hopes they beat The Dudley's and get revenge on them for destroying tables #SAVETHETABLES!!!!
You thought you had all the answers I changed the question -Rowdy Roddy Piper

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