BRM Reviews the 8/27/2015 Smackdown

[Big Red Machine]

WYATT FAMILY PROMO- I don’t think anyone in the WWE knows what the expression a “black sheep” means. It wasn’t bad… it’s just that Bray cuts these promos so often and his worlds rarely ever mean anything, so it’s hard to care.
Then Dean and Roman came out and said they were here to fight the Wyatts… and then they just stood around and did nothing until the Wyatts decided to walk away. That was dumb. How f*kcing hard would it have been to just have Strowman squash Zack Ryder while Dean and Roman cut a pre-taped promo on the Wyatts? You know… something that would make the Wyatts look good and would make Dean and Roman not look stupid?

The announce team this week is Rich Brennan, Jerry Lawler, & Jimmy Uso.

THE DUDLEY BOYZ vs. THE ASCENSION- 2.25/10
Jimmy Uso proudly admits that he and his brother used to perform wrestling maneuvers each other at home all the time. I’m sure WWE was thrilled with this. “whatever you do: don’t try this at home…. UNLESS YOU WANT TO GROW UP TO BE A WWE SUPERSTAR!”
So the Dudleys first use an illegal headbutt to the groin, then declare that they are going to go get an illegal foreign object to use. Are they supposed to be the heels?
The Dudleys win clean in a short match, and I just can’t help but feel that this is a waste of something that could have actually been a decent feud. If anyone will be able to pull something interesting out of the Ascension, it’s other big dudes like the Dudleys. Why not have the Dudleys squash jobbers tonight and then later have the Ascension- whose gimmick was that they didn’t respect legendary tag teams- cut a promo calling them out? Then, on Raw, you have the Dudleys ignore the Ascension because they want to go after the tag titles. This puts them in opposition to PTP, who want their rematch. Then you have a match where the winning team gets a shot at the New Day at Night of Champions and have the Ascension screw the Dudleys out of the match. This sets up a way to tie up the loose ends of PTP vs. New Day and also a feud for the Dudleys to have (and win) during that time so they aren’t just doing nothing on TV until the New Day are ready for them.

POST-MATCH- New Day shows up. Xavier has an awesome sign that reads “SAVE A TABLE, BREAK A DUDLEY.” Kofi’s sign reads “#GiveTablesAChance.” Big E.’s just reads “booty.”
The Dudleys put one of the Ascension guys through a table because they are sore winners.

KEVIN OWENS vs. NEVILLE- 6.25/10
A fun little match was about as good as time allowed.

CHARLOTTE, BECKY, & THE BELLAS BACKSTAGE- not as bad as usual, but still crappy.
The Bellas try to sew dissension in PCB, leading to the following line: “Aren’t you fearless and dominant? Why are you trying to turn us against Paige?” Becky was stealing gags from Monty Python’s Spanish Inquisition sketch, which, I’ll remind you, was about people who were INCOMPETENT AND FOOLISH. And WWE is having Becky makes the same jokes as them. I am so sick and tired of this horrible failure of a “Divas Revolution.” It already annoys me more than any similarly bullsh*t pledge that TNA has ever made like “wrestling matters” or any of their other dumb slogans have annoyed me combined.

BECKY LYNCH & CHARLOTTE vs. THE BELLA TWINS- 4.25/10
Team B.A.D. are on commentary because G-d forbid that something new happen in this angle. Jimmy Uso is not on commentary because obviously he would hate the chance to spend time with his wife.
Sasha made sure to point out that she made Nikki tap out and thus deserves a title shot. Silly Sasha. This isn’t NXT where sh*t makes sense. This is WWE where last year we had multiple people defeat the women’s champion twice in the same week and never get a title shot because of it.
This felt like a match that was going to be really good but then they just went to a random finish instead of letting it play out. It’s Smackdown. It’s a taped show. Why not let them have fifteen minutes, an if it isn’t good, just edit it down!

SETH ROLLINS PROMO- good

JOJO INTERVIEWS SHEAMUS- not so good

BIG SHOW & RUSEV (w/Summer Rae) vs. RYBACK & DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/Lana)-
They should have ended this match with Rusev getting the win via stoppage after he tagged himself in after Show KOed Ziggler and locked on the Accolade. That would have both gotten heat on Rusev and created some sympathy for Big Show so that we would WANT to see him turn face. Instead, they decided to have Show KO Rusev and have Dolph recover and get the pin, so Dolph doesn’t get a good win and Rusev doesn’t get any heat, thus helping nobody.

REIGNS & AMBROSE BACKSTAGE- decent

SHEAMUS vs. DEAN AMBROSE- 6.75/10
They were having a fine match until the Wyatts used their magic to distract Dean so Sheamus could win with the Brogue Kick. Where the f*ck was Roman during all of this? Didn’t he say he was going to keep watch for the Wyatts? So why wasn’t he at ringside to do that? They can f*cking teleport. Why did he think that being in the crowd would make it possible for him to stop them?
Harper went down to one Superman punch. Strowman took Reigns down with what looked like a terrible version of the Reverse Chokeslam, then he choked Roman out and hit him with another big move.

A decent show from WWE, but nothing to go out of your way to see.

[KILLdozer]

And again the whole Wyatt thing is not good. Man!