BRM Reviews the 1/22/2015 Smackdown

[Big Red Machine]

Out of nowhere, tonight’s Bryan vs. Kane match is now No Disqualifications.

OPENING SEGMENT-
Bryan cuts the standard Cena show-opening promo, but Bryan had to be the one to do it because Cena putting himself over for getting Ryback, Zigger, and Rowan their jobs back would have been douchy. Also, Cena doesn’t work on Smackdown because... well… there really is no good kayfabe reason for it.
HUGE pops all for Bryan himself, for his mention of Sting, and for the return of Ziggler. Ryback cut an awesome babyface promo, and the people were really into him by the end of it.
Erick Rowan apparently put his time at home to good use and he learned how speak. He says that before, he used to be Naïve and be somebody’s puppet. This would be a great set-up for a feud with himself and Bray Wyatt, except that they already did that singles match with no build whatsoever. Oh. And look. He’s now WHISPERING TO THE SHEEP MASK. Yeah. This is surely destined for success.
Ziggler’s promo was painfully scripted. Also, he kept referring to Bryan as “DB.” He said that he was SO CLOSE to showing everyone that he BELONGS at the top. It’s like he’s completely forgotten that he was the World Heavyweight Champion in 2013. He also randomly took a shot at CM Punk.

Then the Authority came out. Aside from Hunter & Steph, I mean, because there’s no reason that they would be Smackdown, is there?
OH COME ON! “Butt” isn’t PG enough to say, but “crap” is?
They actually managed to build up the World Heavyweight Title match decently well with this, although Dragon having them go to the video tape was pretty lame.
Big Show has lame comments, and among them, he says that the four babyfaces don’t know what it’s like to fly first class. Because they’re poor and don’t make money in WWE, I guess.
Kane books Dolph vs. Barrett, and Cole magically knows that it is a Royal Rumble qualifier.

DOLPH MUST WIN TO QUALFIY FOR THE RUMBLE: Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett- 6.75/10
The match was great, but was it really necessary to use Barrett here? He has had four televised matches since winning the title and has lost three of them (and apparently all of his house show matches, too)!

ROMAN REIGNS PROMO- bad

DEAN AMBROSE STEALS FANDANGO’S RUMBLE NUMBER- OH COME ON!
1. Stealing is wrong and babyfaces shouldn’t do it.
2. THERE’S A F*CKING REFEREE LOOKING RIGHT AT HIM THE WHOLE TIME, NOT DOING ANYTHING TO STOP HIM!

RYBACK MUST WIN TO QUALFIY FOR THE RUMBLE: Ryback vs. Rusev (w/Lana)- 6.25/10
If they were going to do a count-out, this was the best way to do it because it really builds up Ryback vs. Rusev well. In fact, it does it so well that I’m not sure they can keep this going until Mania. They might have to blow it off at Fast Lane.

BELLAS PROMO- bad.

NAOMI vs. BRIE BELLA (w/Nikki Bella)- DUD!
Jimmy Uso is not at ringside supporting his wife like he usually does because… um…
I gave the match a dud not because the work was bad, but because no one, not even the cameraman, was even pretending to pay any attention to it.
Paige and Nattie were on commentary. Paige has her feet up on the announcers’ desk and just came across as REALLY cool. Nattie made an early 90’s northeast indy circuit reference. That made me laugh really hard. Also enjoyed Nattie standing up for the institution of marriage against Lawler’s stupid, stereotypical jokes.

LUKE HARPER PROMO- great.

GOLDUST & STARDUST PICK THEIR NUMBERS- STOP TALKING AND JUST F*CKING PICK THEM ALREADY!

ROWAN MUST WIN TO QUALFIY FOR THE RUMBLE: Erick Rowan vs. Luke Harper- 4.75/1-
Good for the time it got, and had some fun big-man stuff.

THE AUTHORITY HAVE AN EVIL HEEL MEETING BACKSTAGE- they MUST keep Dragon out of the Rumble, but Dragon is so good that Kane needs every advantage he can get, so he asks Rollins if he can borrow his stooges.

MIZ & MIZ-DOW BACKSTAGE- the turn continues! Also, the Usos show up to encourage Sandow to turn, which isn’t as fun as him turning on his own.

NO DQ’S MATCH WHICH BRYAN MUST WIN TO QUALFIY FOR THE RUMBLE: Daniel Bryan vs. Kane (w/Joey Mercury & Jamie Noble)- 6.75/10

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Big Show jumped Bryan on his way back up the ramp. The heels beat Bryan down until Ryback, Rowan, and Ziggler made the save. Then more guys came out and the show ended with the traditional pre-Rumble schmoz, which ended with Kane, Big Show, Dragon, Ryback, Ziggler, Reigns, and Ambrose staring each other down.

A good episode of Smackdown.

[Serujuunin]

I liked Roman's promo this week...