BRM Reviews the 5/24/2014 Smackdown

[Big Red Machine]

HOGAN PROMO- atrociously cheap plug for Legends’ House. And when I say atrociously I mean “what’cha goona do, Brother, when Hulk Hogan, Legends’ House, and the WWE Network run wild on you!”

NO DISQUALIFICATIONS MATCH: Batista vs. Dolph Ziggler- 7.75/10
GREAT, though they seemed to be quieting the crowd down for a long time, and I have no idea why.

TAG TEAM MATCH WITH SUMMER RAE AS A SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE: Eva Marie & Nikki Bella vs. The Funkadactyls- DUD!
Michael Cole tells us that there is “so much intrigue in this match.” That is such a Mike Tenay line if I have ever heard one. Most of the supposed "intrigue" apparently revolves around this stupid Summer Rae/Layla/Fandango angle. If that is the case, why would you not just put Summer Rae in the match? She is a MUCH better worker than Eva Marie, and you would also avoid doing a pointless gimmick match.
Now Michael Cole is starting to talk about a storyline on Total Divas where “Summer Rae realized that Eva Marie wasn’t any good in the ring.” So either they just totally buried Eva Marie (which is well-deserved, but bad business) or Cole is telling everyone that the business is a work in the middle of a show we are supposed to care about.
Anyway, the match was bad, and ended when Summer Rae fast-counted Eva because they weren’t getting along on a recent episode of Total Divas… which was taped MONTHS AGO. You can insert my rant about the glaring logical problems that presents from the 5/12/2014 Raw here).
Anyway, Summer is supposed to be a babyface in the Fandango angle, but a heel here? The problem is that if Summer Rae is a douchebag the rest of the time, and Layla and Fandango seem to really be in love, it makes me not at all upset that Fandango dumped her for someone who he loves.

BO DALLAS PROMO- good old Bo.

BO DALLAS vs. SIN CARA- 4.25/10
Bo on the main roster will be so much fun!


BRAY WYATT PROMO- GREAT… but wouldn’t it have made more sense with this promo for Bray to call Cena out for jumping from his behind like a coward? Wouldn’t that help Bray “destroy Cena’s legacy” more than just beating him in a last man standing match.
THE END OF BRAY’S PROMO- WHAT THE F*CK?! Did he just randomly start speaking in tongues? That was really, really, really, really, strange.

SHEAMUS vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO- 6.5/10
Match was good. Cesaro attacks Sheamus for the DQ, then gives the unconscious Sheamus a mocking handshake.
Cesaro being annoying by purposely not speaking English on commentary was good here, but if they keep doing it (and I fear that they will, because they have a tendency to overdo things that work well once), it will be extremely annoying, (and not in the heel heat way)

VICKIE GUERRERO & ADAM ROSE SEGMENT- fun. Vickie rocks!
Rose’s crew now includes Alice in Wonderland and a second gender-bender Captain America (this one is in a skirt, though). What? They couldn’t find Captain Britain costume?

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS THE USOS- strange
One of the Usos said that Adam Rose’s parties are his type of parties. I guess he likes cos-playing. The other Uso cut a great promo. Then Cena showed up and made no sense. I think he actually expressed his desire to “go hunting for babies.” I got what his point was (words are cheap, actions speak louder than words), but it was till just WAY too weird.

THE WYATT FAMILY (w/Bray Wyatt) vs. THE USOS (w/John Cena)- 5.25/10
A pointless DQ finish that does NOTHING.

An okay Smackdown that would have been much better if Ziggler vs. Batista was the main event.