BRM Reviews the 3/23/2020 Raw (better than last week, but still bad)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 3/23/2020 Raw (better than last week, but still bad)

Post by Big Red Machine » Mar 25th, '20, 10:43

DREW MCINTYRE VS. BROCK LESNAR VIDEO PACKAGE- same one from a few weeks ago

Also, Brock was there.

They’ve adjusted their camera set-up to be more like AEW’s was, and have curtained off the empty seats. Both good moves.

THEY AIRED CENA VS. BROCK VS. ROLLINS FROM ROYAL RUMBLE 2015- still fantastic, but also still a time-filler, and it’s not like it ties into storylines like airing this year’s Rumble or Cena vs. Wyatt from WrestleMania XXX did, either.

RECAP OF GRONK ON SMACKDOWN- I love how Mojo Rawley is just allowed to jump from Raw to SD because he’s Gronk’s friend. Remember six months ago when they tried to convince us that the two networks were competing with each other to build the best roster, and had people cheering in “war rooms” when even the lowliest jobber was drafted?
Also, remember three weeks ago when Mojo was a heel? Well now he’s a babyface because Gronk.

First, we got a video package. Then, after a commercial, we got another, even longer video package. Then the OC came out and AJ cut a promo burying Taker for trying to save Tigers (with charity. Taker didn’t magically scare away poachers or something like that). AJ made more comments about Michelle McCool. AJ then asks if Taker has ever really been the same since losing to Brock at WrestleMania XXX. Haven’t we done this angle enough already? And AJ has gotten his butt kicked so many times that him asking it makes him come off like a delusional goof rather than a real threat to a possibly-decrepit Undertaker.
AJ then challenged The Undertaker to a “boneyard match.” Didn’t tell us what it is, of course, so I’m not sure how I can possibly get excited for it. One thing that I do know, however, is that the name “boneyard match” sounds extremely stupid.

ANGEL GARZA & ANDRADE ARE ANNOUNCED AS CHALLENGERS FOR THE RAW TAG TEAMTITLES AT WRESTLEMANIA- Do I like the fact that they haven’t actually won any matches? No. But given that Rezar’s injury and Rey’s quarantine likely killed two planned WrestleMania matches, I think this is a fine emergency plan that turns those two matches into one.

Zelina cut a great promo. Andrade and Angel both spoke English and were fine. Charly totally has a thing for Angel Garza… which is great! If the dude’s gimmick is that he’s a heartthrob, show us some women and gay dudes being into him! You can’t count on fans for this sort of thing anymore.

Zelina’s gear was full-on porn-gear tonight. Business open business suit with just a bra on under it is not a good look for someone who is supposed to be a “business manager.” I’m not saying she can’t look hot. I’m just sating that she should avoid wearing things that look like a direct parody of what her actual job is.
The Street Profits came out to do commentary. They were not good. They were good at being the Street Profits, but that doesn’t mesh well with Tom Phillips trying to do his job and call the match. There were too many moments where it felt like three people were talking at the same time, never mind two. I think a better thing to do would have been to have the Street Profits sitting in the crowd scouting. If you put them in one of the corners by the aisle you can still always seem them from the hard-cam, their usual over the top body-movements lend themselves well to pantomime, and you would get the same effect of them being out here to build up their WrestleMania match in a way that doesn’t detract from my enjoyment of the match.
And, of course, they cut away from the action to show us the Street Profits sitting there at the commentary table. This should be a firing offense.
The match was great, but at the same time, when I heard that they gave these four guys twenty minutes, I was kind of expecting something more. Something funky happened on the finish, as Andrade nailed Cedric with a back elbow, then pinned him, and the ref stopped after two, then, swung his arm down again and counted three. I wondering if Cedric got a concussion and they rushed the finish.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- didn’t like it
The Street Profits went to the ring for a completely forced confrontation and brawl with the heels, which they won, so we’ve seen nothing that makes us think the challengers are actually going to be a challenge to the champions yet.

A replay of Stone Cold Steve Austin and Becky Lynch bullying Byron Saxton was deemed to be a good idea to show.

THE STREET PROFITS vs. SHANE THORNE & BRENDAN VINK- 2.5/10… but what a terrible f*cking idea!
Who decided to have the tag champs go 50-50 with a makeshift team composed of TMDK’s leftovers and a guy who isn’t even on NXT TV?

R-TRUTH WON THE 24/7 TITLE FROM RIDDICK MOSS WHILE MOSS WAS OUT JOGGING- Haven’t these f*ckers ever heard of social distancing?

Aleister Black vs. Bobby Lashley has been signed for WrestleMania. That’s… random. They’re also just going with the idea that AJ vs. Taker is a “boneyard match” even though Taker hasn’t agreed to it yet. Hell… didn’t they just do a contract-signing last week? Was this stipulation not in the contract? Why even do a contract signing if you’re going to add another stipulation the next week?

BARON CORBIN WILL BE WRESTLING ELIAS AT WRESTLEMANIA- Meanwhile, the following wrestlers are not on the card:
Ricochet, The Revival, Kofi Kingston, Cedric Alexander, Mustafa Ali, Buddy Murphy, Chad Gable, Akira Tozawa, Big E., Viking Raiders, Rusev, Shelton Benjamin, Ruby Riott, Nattie Neidhart, Apollo Crews, Dolph Ziggler, Bobby Roode, Kalisto, Gran Metalik, Lincé Dorado, the Usos, Sheamus, Mickie James, Tony Nese, Mike Kanellis, Ariyah Daivari, Brian Kendrick, Jack Gallagher, R-Truth, Eric Young. Any one of those people facing off against either Corbin or The Drifter would be a better match, and any two (or more) of them would be a much better match than Baron Corbin vs. The Drifter.
(Also not yet on the card are Daniel Bryan, Cesaro, Shinsuke Nakamura, Jeff Hardy, Drew Gulak, Sami Zayn, Asuka, Kairi Sane, Nikki Cross, and Alexa Bliss!, but I assume they all will wind up on the card in some form of tag matches based on their current programs).

I don’t know what they’re going for with Baszler. She’s not quite being a typical bully, but they’re trying for it and it’s not working. This probably would have worked a lot better with Baszler just cutting a promo on her own.
Anyway, Becky Lynch used the darkened arena and lack of crowd to sneak up behind Shayna like a coward and hit her with a chair. Once again, what WWE has to ruin what should just be two women cutting promos on each other for weeks and weeks with a ridiculous attempt at some sort of storyline that only results in the babyface looking like a heel while the heel remains unlikable as well.

See… THIS is what should have happened in the Street Profits vs. jobbers match.

More talk about how special the PC is. NO ONE CARES! Also, worked shoot stuff from Rollins about how “remade the system” so that other indy guys like Owens could succeed.


RANDY ORTON PROMO- great stuff
Randy gave this big speech claiming that “Adam Copeland is a mark for Edge,” and that’s why he came back, so Randy is going to put him out at WrestleMania specifically for the sake of his daughters. We’ll assume that Randy had this big speech memorized and gave the production team a list of clips to play and when to play them. Yeah. That’s what happened.

This was a better show than last week, but still with plenty of problems. And no, I don’t think coronavirus has had anything to do with those problems. It might have forced them to have Owens vs. Rollins at the PC, but the decision to try to make the PC this important part of the story was all WWE’s. The issues with AJ vs. Taker and Becky vs. Shayna (and, even though it’s not on Raw, I’ll throw in Roman vs. Goldberg) were also very avoidable, and we know that WWE knows how to avoid these mistakes because they have actually done a fairly decent job at it over the past few weeks with Drew vs. Brock.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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