BRM Gives Up On The 3/25/2019 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- bad
We start off with WWE bragging about all of the media attention they got for announcing that women will main event WrestleMania for the first time ever. I’m not disputing that this is a HUGE deal… but every time I see one of these montages WWE does where they bombard us with screenshots of articles from Rolling Stone and ESPN Magazine and whoever else they can get to write about them, I can’t help but think “what are you showing this to us?” Who is this blitz targeted at? The point of getting these magazines to write about you is for the publicity, right? And the point of publicity is to draw in new customers, right? So why are you showing this to the people who are already watching your show? We are (theoretically, anyway) the choir. Preaching to us isn’t going to do anything for you.

Then Ronda Rousey came out. Several times over the past few weeks we have been told that Ronda has “gone rogue.” The description for this episode of Raw in the guide on my TV described her as “out of control.” Based on the angle they are doing, WWE seems to want us to think that Ronda has been going into business for herself and shooting on people. SO WHY THE F*CK WOULD WWE SEND HER OUT TO THE RING TO START THE SHOW WITH A LIVE MICROPHONE?!

Ronda takes credit for getting the women the main event. Then she drops the mic and leaves… but then she comes back because she has something else she wants to say. She is complaining about being booked in a “Beat The Clock Challenge.” She has no idea what it is, but thinks it “sounds like one of your BS gimmicks you have going on around here.” I’ll come back to this later, but suffice it to say for now that Ronda ain’t wrong about this. She finished this tirade with the same “and that’s all I have to say” that she finished her earlier comments with, which makes it pretty clear that this was something written for her that she screwed up and tried to correct her mistake. In other words, Ronda herself made it clear here that she was trying to follow the script given to her, which kills her angle.
The Riott Squad started to come out because I guess one of them is wrestling Ronda, but Becky Lynch (who is also booked in the Beat The Clock Challenge, along with Charlotte) came out, too. Becky comes out and she says that it was her and not Ronda who is truly responsible for getting the women their first WrestleMania main event. Predictably, Charlotte comes out. You don’t get any points for guessing what she talked about her in promo.
Yeah, this argument is completely ridiculous. I mean… where do these women get off thinking any one of them is bigger than the brand? Vince McMahon ought to come right out here and suspend all three of them and replace them in the main event with Alexa Bliss! and Mickie James. As anyone who has been paying any attention to the women’s division on the main roster over the past few years should know, the reason for all of the history women have been making in WWE over the past few years is the Women’s Evolution of which all women- past, present, and future- are part, and all function as a team fighting for equality and empowerment.
Hey! Don’t get angry at me about this! That’s basically the way they’ve framed the Women’s Evolution, right? Don’t believe me? Go back and watch some of those “what does Evolution mean to you?” video packages from WWE Evolution or Steph’s big speech announcing the women’s Royal Rumble.

BEAT THE CLOCK CHALLENGE MATCH- a great segment… assuming your goal was to bury the Riott Squad deep, deep under the ground. If you were trying to build up the WrestleMania main event then this was a waste of time.
Ronda made Sarah Logan tap in 1:25. Charlotte couldn’t beat Ruby Riott in the allotted time, but did have her trapped in the Figure Eight when time expired to make us think she was on the verge of winning. Becky managed to make Liv Morgan tap out in 1:17, beating Ronda’s time by eight seconds.
Okay… so what? A win is a win is a win. You get paid the same amount no matter how long it takes you. For a Beat The Clock Challenge to work, there has to actually be something on the line. Otherwise it’s just a waste of time, which is what this was, just like Charlotte and Becky’s talking segment and brawl on Smackdown. WWE, stuck in their rigid methods of booking, decided that they needed to have Ronda, Becky, and Charlotte involved in the same segment because all in the same match at the PPV, so they picked a gimmick where they are all “competing” against each other without actually giving away the PPV match. This might sound clever at first, but the reality is that putting characters in a feud together in a way that doesn’t actually contribute anything to the story only serves to overexpose the feud and make the idea of the three of them in the same place at the same time just a little bit less special, and those little losses add up over time.

HANDICAP MATCH IN WHICH IF FINN BALOR WINS HE GETS AN INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE SHOT AT WRESTLEMANIA: Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley & Jinder Mahal (w/Lio Rush & the Singh Brothers)- 4.25/10
Michael Cole notes that Balor won a Handicap Match against Lashley and a partner once before, but to do so twice would be “nearly impossible.” Thirty seconds later, Cole then compared it to Kofi Kingston running the gauntlet on Smackdown last week. This would be the second time in five weeks that Kofi made a similarly improbable run in a Gauntlet Match, and he actually did better last week than he did the first time. Way to defeat your own point there, Cole.
This was apparently supposed to be Lio Rush teaming up with Lashley, but Lio isn’t medically cleared to compete tonight to the beating he took last week from Braun Strowman, so he has picked Jinder to replace him in the match.
Renee Young got completely bent out of shape about this, decrying how “unfair” it was… and for the life of me I can’t figure out why. Cole told us that he had “heard rumors” about this throughout the day, so it’s not like Lio is faking an injury to swap someone out at the last moment. Lio can’t wrestle because he’s injured. And I have to note here that Renee spent all of last week’s match so damn giddy at the idea of Braun obliterating little Lio Rush that this really just feels like karma coming back to bite Renee in the butt.
But even if Lio was faking this injury, that’s not even what Renee said she was upset about. She was upset that Lio was allowed to pick his own replacement. This doesn’t seem particularly controversial to me. Hell, just last week Balor was allowed to pick his own tag team partner (which, I will note, Renee had no issues with), so why shouldn’t Lio be allowed to pick his own replacement tonight?
And it’s not like he picked someone big and scary like Kane or Mark Henry or Brock or Lars Sullivan. He didn’t even pick some undefeated wrestler on a major tear, or a multi-time world champion like John Cena or Roman Reigns. It’s just f*cking Jinder Mahal. Calm the hell down, Renee. He hasn’t won a match all year. Even if you include house shows!
After Cole made such a big deal about how impossible this would be for Balor to do, he did it under six minutes. Lashley beat up Jinder & the Singh Brothers after the match.

THE DRIFTER IS IN TIMES SQUARE- he did and said nothing important. They paid to send Elias and a cameraperson to New York City to fill one minute and nineteen seconds of time on their TV show with utterly pointless drivel.


You know what? F*ck it. I don’t need to have my time wasted. I’m done with this show.

The internet says the rest of the show was a bunch of matches that didn’t even go ten minutes, which is a major disappointment when you consider that three of those matches were Angle vs. Joe, and Revival vs. Black & Ricochet (the fourth time we’ve seen these two teams face off… and Black & Ricochet have only been on the main roster for six weeks!), and , Ambrose vs. McIntyre in a f*cking Last Man Standing Match (which is the fifth time we’ve seen those two take off in six weeks, the fourth singles match they’ve had in six weeks, and the third gimmick match they’ve had in the past five weeks).
Also, the SNL dorks are going to be in the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royale because Braun threatened to beat them up if they didn’t. Alexa Bliss! was the one who booked them into this match so I guess she has booking powers now again?
The women’s tag title “build-up” featured the same water-treading DQ we got last week, Corbin got his win back on Apollo Crews, and much talking happened with Rollins, Heyman, Hunter, Roman, and Drew, out of which the only news is that we’re getting Roman and Drew at WrestleMania.
Also, Elias had his money and his guitar case stolen from him, which I guess we’re supposed to laugh at because apparently theft is funny.


This copany f*cking sucks. I can’t believe I interrupted watching Evolve to start watching this show.

[KILLdozer]

You've gotta chill out with the anger...gonna have a stroke in the middle of Raw or something...

[XIV]

You've gotta chill out with the anger...gonna have a stroke in the middle of Raw or something...

Despite the sheer shit of it, im enjoying 1998 WCW more than the current WWE programming.

So. That speaks volumes and BRM is right to feel this way.

[KILLdozer]

You've gotta chill out with the anger...gonna have a stroke in the middle of Raw or something...

Despite the sheer shit of it, im enjoying 1998 WCW more than the current WWE programming.

So. That speaks volumes and BRM is right to feel this way.

I usually just enjoy making fun of their over the top ridiculousness, which has become their trademark.

[Big Red Machine]

You've gotta chill out with the anger...gonna have a stroke in the middle of Raw or something...

Despite the sheer shit of it, im enjoying 1998 WCW more than the current WWE programming.

So. That speaks volumes and BRM is right to feel this way.

I think that, for past shows, time helps shape expectations. People expect post-97 WCW to be a sh*t-show, so rather than disappointing, it's kind of funny. I think stuff like 2007 TNA would get the same treatment at this point. People have been saying similar about 2000 ECW for years. On the other hand, stuff that has been talked up (like the Attitude Era or certain large chunks of ECW) appear quite disappointing in hindsight.

[Big Red Machine]

You've gotta chill out with the anger...gonna have a stroke in the middle of Raw or something...

If Impact didn't kill me, nothing will.

[Serujuunin]

You've gotta chill out with the anger...gonna have a stroke in the middle of Raw or something...

If Impact didn't kill me, nothing will.

I can sympathize with Red... the only way I make it through RAW is that I don’t give it my undivided attention until something fun happens. Smackdown is literally unwatchable unless it’s on PVR and I can skip shit.

And with my recent NXT night with my mom, she realizes now how bad the main roster is (and likes NXT so much more!) that I think she stopped watching RAW and Smackdown almost completely.

The only reason I haven’t yet is because I have this weird compulsion to know what happens next in the stories, even if it’s nothing...

[KILLdozer]

You've gotta chill out with the anger...gonna have a stroke in the middle of Raw or something...

If Impact didn't kill me, nothing will.

I can sympathize with Red... the only way I make it through RAW is that I don’t give it my undivided attention until something fun happens. Smackdown is literally unwatchable unless it’s on PVR and I can skip shit.

And with my recent NXT night with my mom, she realizes now how bad the main roster is (and likes NXT so much more!) that I think she stopped watching RAW and Smackdown almost completely.

The only reason I haven’t yet is because I have this weird compulsion to know what happens next in the stories, even if it’s nothing...

It's well known Sd is the better show though by far...

[KILLdozer]

Random idea though...send Renee Young back to interviewer. How can you be so great at one and so horrible at the other?

Surely there's another random black dude that could do better lol.

[Serujuunin]

Random idea though...send Renee Young back to interviewer. How can you be so great at one and so horrible at the other?

Surely there's another random black dude that could do better lol.

I don’t know if it was on here or somewhere else but I heard that people were telling her to talk less, probably because she couldn’t get in anything edgewise with Graves being an obnoxious jerkbag.

Also about Smackdown... you’re right, but honestly, most of my favourite guys are on RAW and the ones that are on Smackdown aren’t getting much TV time at all.

ALSO, I don’t know if this is a thing for you guys in the states, but up here, both shows are so overloaded with commercials it’s baffling!! Honestly it’s becoming a pain to watch either just because of that. It feels like there’s a commercial break every five to seven minutes, it’s absurd.

[XIV]

You've gotta chill out with the anger...gonna have a stroke in the middle of Raw or something...

Despite the sheer shit of it, im enjoying 1998 WCW more than the current WWE programming.

So. That speaks volumes and BRM is right to feel this way.

I think that, for past shows, time helps shape expectations. People expect post-97 WCW to be a sh*t-show, so rather than disappointing, it's kind of funny. I think stuff like 2007 TNA would get the same treatment at this point. People have been saying similar about 2000 ECW for years. On the other hand, stuff that has been talked up (like the Attitude Era or certain large chunks of ECW) appear quite disappointing in hindsight.

There may be some merits in this. This new WCW campaign that I've embarked upon is the first time I've gone back to watch more than just a PPV. This is me watching weekly programming and the relevant PPV's in order and with expectations shaped and a little nostalgia, at the moment I'm enjoying it, but as that wears off and the programming becomes more and more tedious in presentation that's the true test.

[KILLdozer]

Random idea though...send Renee Young back to interviewer. How can you be so great at one and so horrible at the other?

Surely there's another random black dude that could do better lol.

I don’t know if it was on here or somewhere else but I heard that people were telling her to talk less, probably because she couldn’t get in anything edgewise with Graves being an obnoxious jerkbag.

Also about Smackdown... you’re right, but honestly, most of my favourite guys are on RAW and the ones that are on Smackdown aren’t getting much TV time at all.

ALSO, I don’t know if this is a thing for you guys in the states, but up here, both shows are so overloaded with commercials it’s baffling!! Honestly it’s becoming a pain to watch either just because of that. It feels like there’s a commercial break every five to seven minutes, it’s absurd.

I don't watch local television anymore. I've been watching it all on Hulu for years now. Definitely the better way to go. Raw actually gets cut in half because of it so I never see stuff like fool jobbers.

[Serujuunin]

Random idea though...send Renee Young back to interviewer. How can you be so great at one and so horrible at the other?

Surely there's another random black dude that could do better lol.

I don’t know if it was on here or somewhere else but I heard that people were telling her to talk less, probably because she couldn’t get in anything edgewise with Graves being an obnoxious jerkbag.

Also about Smackdown... you’re right, but honestly, most of my favourite guys are on RAW and the ones that are on Smackdown aren’t getting much TV time at all.

ALSO, I don’t know if this is a thing for you guys in the states, but up here, both shows are so overloaded with commercials it’s baffling!! Honestly it’s becoming a pain to watch either just because of that. It feels like there’s a commercial break every five to seven minutes, it’s absurd.

I don't watch local television anymore. I've been watching it all on Hulu for years now. Definitely the better way to go. Raw actually gets cut in half because of it so I never see stuff like fool jobbers.

Hulu is an American thing. We can't get it up here.

[Bob-O]

Hulu is an American thing. We can't get it up here.

Oh sister... you're talking about the internet... there's ALWAYS a way...

But, as far as the end justifying the means, Hulu is legally coming your way. I'm not 100% on the ins/outs of it all, but once Disney obtains all the rights to Fox the service will be available to you. 100% recommend. 90 minute Raw the next morning alone is worth the $11. Smackdown, NXT, 205... and like, non-wrestling shows too. I haven't had cable/satellite in over 6 years, and I haven't looked back.

[Serujuunin]

Hulu is an American thing. We can't get it up here.

Oh sister... you're talking about the internet... there's ALWAYS a way...

But, as far as the end justifying the means, Hulu is legally coming your way. I'm not 100% on the ins/outs of it all, but once Disney obtains all the rights to Fox the service will be available to you. 100% recommend. 90 minute Raw the next morning alone is worth the $11. Smackdown, NXT, 205... and like, non-wrestling shows too. I haven't had cable/satellite in over 6 years, and I haven't looked back.

Eh, I'm leeching a netflix and I have the WWE Network... And outside of that, I watch animal planet/nat geo wild on TV... I don't have enough reason to go hunting for Hulu lol. Now if Hulu has my vet shows, I might consider it, but my boyfriend works for the cable/internet provider and it's actually cheaper for him to have internet, his cell phone and cable than to just have cell and internet, so we'll basically have cable even if I don't use it

Now I am wondering, because I am a glutton for punishment, where I would go to watch Impact.

[Big Red Machine]

Now I am wondering, because I am a glutton for punishment, where I would go to watch Impact.

It's better several levels above what it used to be, so watching Impact nowadays does not count as masochism. You really want to go through it, you have to start when Russo comes in October 2006 and make it all the way through his run, Hogan/Bischoff's run, Pritchard's run, Russo's second, secret run, and all of the dreck we got for the four years after that during the "channel switch" era.

[Serujuunin]

Now I am wondering, because I am a glutton for punishment, where I would go to watch Impact.

It's better several levels above what it used to be, so watching Impact nowadays does not count as masochism. You really want to go through it, you have to start when Russo comes in October 2006 and make it all the way through his run, Hogan/Bischoff's run, Pritchard's run, Russo's second, secret run, and all of the dreck we got for the four years after that during the "channel switch" era.

I don’t think I hate myself quite that much yet.

[cero2k]

Now I am wondering, because I am a glutton for punishment, where I would go to watch Impact.

Friday nights on https://www.twitch.tv/impactwrestling
Since you're in Canada, you still have it on FightNetwork i think

[Serujuunin]

Now I am wondering, because I am a glutton for punishment, where I would go to watch Impact.

Friday nights on https://www.twitch.tv/impactwrestling
Since you're in Canada, you still have it on FightNetwork i think

Oh dude that’s neat that they stream it on twitch. The last time I watched it on TV it was on Spike and I don’t even know if that channel exists anymore lol

[cero2k]

Now I am wondering, because I am a glutton for punishment, where I would go to watch Impact.

Friday nights on https://www.twitch.tv/impactwrestling
Since you're in Canada, you still have it on FightNetwork i think

Oh dude that’s neat that they stream it on twitch. The last time I watched it on TV it was on Spike and I don’t even know if that channel exists anymore lol

twitch is fun, there's a chat there where the wrestlers go in to or straight up connect with the webcam during commercials. They have a big episode this friday and starting their new set of Canadian tapings next week. I think you'd really enjoy more than half of the roster