Seru's Stance on RAW 3/7/17
Posted: Jul 5th, '17, 00:02
So, again, I wrote this whole thing on a notebook on my break, but I will transcribe it almost exactly as I wrote it... Which means Seru will be a giant mark later in the show.
With that disclaimer, let's begin!
Enzo opens the show- positive
Enzo opens the show attempting his usual shtick, and I actually like that he's trying to remain normal, but that little hesitation where he should be introducing Cass is a good little character piece that I can appreciate. His promo is heavy with emotion, and though he repeated himself a bit, and maybe went a little bit longer than I would have liked, he makes some good points, and I really liked his little bit about Cass being a catchphrase that he wrote. Excellent.
Cass' Promo Rebuttal- positive
Cass is still awkward on the mic, and this time he doesn't have Enzo to make up for him. He kind of sounds like "generic wrestler #3" in a WWE "make your own career" game. Regardless of all of this, Enzo's attack on him made up for all of it. It's the natural next step after Enzo's promo and it's at the right time in the show to capitalize on the viewer's emotion, which we were still feeling at this point. I don't usually like these spots regardless (it makes heels look like cowards and makes faces look like heels), but in this one rare case, fuelled by emotion, it works.
Listening to Booker's comments regarding the just-announced Enzo v Cass at the PPV, I realized, no one really gives the little guys a chance, but we forget that guys like Chris Jericho, Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero fell into this category in their time... And they're some of the best! So you'd figure that people would be over that by now.
Sasha Banks/Bayley v Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax- negative
I disliked this match early on because of the way they wrote Bayley out of it... If you want the handicap match, book the handicap match! And I bet they wonder in the office why people are saying Bayley's character is dead. Sh*t like this is why.
Despite all of this, I really like Bayley. She makes me smile all the time! In stark contrast, I don't like Nia Jax at all, despite really trying to. Her offence is repetitive and boring, and there's nothing resembling skill in any of it. This whole match to me seems like a disaster.
Brawn Strowman and Kurt Angle- neutral
Strowman is definitely getting better at promos, but he's better at the quiet, intimidating promo instead of the loud, alpha male yelling, in my opinion.
Cedric Alexander v Noam Darr w/ Alicia Fox- neutral
I actually don't care at all about either of these guys or their story, which is not for lack of trying... I don't watch 205Live and RAW does such a terrible job at telling the cruiserweight division that I have no reason to be invested in hardly any of them. Noam Darr and Alicia Fox are completely insufferable, and I imagine they would be fantastic heels if I actually cared.
Miz TV featuring the Jobbers-to-the-Stars
Why in the world would the Miz want to remind us of the absolute sh*tshow that was last week? Beyond that, he made some valid points about Ambrose being the strongest talker in the Shield and having a lot of potential with a Roddy Piper-esque character, and now he's become a comedy act... I can't help but wonder if this is one writer taking a shot at another for how poorly Ambrose has been booked? Are they becoming self-aware? Ambrose comes out to admit that Miz is right, but that he does whatever he wants anyway... I suppose that's an... admirable trait? Slater comes out and points out that because he pinned Miz, he should get a title shot, and he gets one and loses- although it was a much more ven match than I anticipated, and I surprisingly found myself rooting for Slater a bit. And of course, Miz wins with the distraction from Axel and Dallas.
The hilarious thing to me here is that Ambrose called out the PPV for it's sh*t name. I wonder who got mad at him backstage after that segment?
Apollo Crews and Titus O'Neal- negative
Titus tries to convince Crews to make a name for himself by fighting Strowman later. Yeah, because lets bury another talented superstar because we don't know how to write.
Goldust- "The Shattered Truth"- positive
I wonder what it is with the WWE and Hollywood gimmicks? Are they envious of the mainstream attention movies get and are trying to get that for themselves?
Naturally, Truth interrupts to beat Goldust up, and at this point, I feel like I'm actually starting to care a little bit about this feud, when I couldn't give half a sh*t before. So I guess that's a job well done?
Sheamus and Cesaro in Kurt Angle's Office- positive
We get a 30 MINUTE IRON MAN TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH at the PPV. I will take this, and happily. And to keep in fighting shape, Cesaro wants BALOR? I will also happily take this!
Seth Rollins v Curt Hawkins (again)- negative
Before the match even starts, I don't like it. Wasted time with a wasted superstar in Hawkins, and only for Rollins to cut a promo on Wyatt after. Hawkins says he was supposed to face Strowman, and I wish that he had so that Strowman could make him go away altogether. Rollins cut a good promo at the end of the match though.
Samoa Joe/Brock Lesnar Interview- negative
So, are we supposed to think that Lesnar is the face in this situation? I kind of feel like this is what they're trying to do here. Him and Heyman together make Joe out to be a coward, and when Heyman says that Joe has employed cowardly tactics thus far to get the upper hand, he's kind of right. I was super into this match prior to this, but I feel like they've made Joe feel like a less believable threat to Lesnar. And Joe of course takes offence and goes looking for Lesnar, and we get a pull-apart without the brawl, which is kind of the same thing we've seen for three weeks.
Neville v Mustafa Ali- mostly neutral, but Neville is positive
Neville is a fantastic heel (minus the King of the Cruiserweights) gimmick. His "Neville Level" stuff is awesome and the way he plays the heel in the ring is golden. I actually found myself wondering how he was going to pull off being a heel when he made the turn, because he seemed such a natural babyface. I like that he can play both of those roles. This was a fairly enjoyable match, despite having "205Live Syndrome" where I have no emotional connection to Ali so I don't care what happens to him.
Side question... How long do the commercial breaks have to be to change the ropes to the purple ones for every cruiserweight match? Or are they so good at it that they can do it in like no time?
Another aside... I like that Neville has held the title for a significant period of time, because it makes the title seem like it's more important, but there also doesn't really feel like there's many people worthy of challenging him for it, at the same time.
Bray Wyatt Promo- negative
I feel like I don't even have to write negative on it, because my opinion on any Wyatt promo is the same. I didn't like it before it even started, and when he started taking credit for everything that's happened on RAW since he'd been there, I tuned out and skipped the rest. Pure drivel.
Alexa Bliss Promo- positive
She tries to spin her cowardice and intelligence, and Charly actually calls her on it, which I thought was a neat little character moment for her.
FINN BALOR V CESARO- so positive
Before Balor's music even hits, I'm amped. This match, if they don't f*ck with it, could be fantastic. SCREW THE COMMERCIAL BREAK, GIMME BALOR.
Predictably, Sheamus is ringside, I wonder how he's going to muck this up somehow. At this point, no one in the segment is even from North America, I noticed.
The Hardys come out to back up Balor and I lost my sh*t all over again. Having them on commentary, while it falls into the same "we can't let people forget they're feuding, so they have to be involved in each other's segments somehow" issue that Red mentions often, but Matt makes some very good points and is very respectful, building up Sheamus and Cesaro as difficult opponents, and also talks up Balor at the same time. However... FOCUS ON BALOR AND CESARO DAMMIT.
Of course, Sampson comes out to ruin it, but the Hardys come out to try to even numbers. There's a bit of scuffling between non-combatants, and Balor still wins.
Some side notes...
As a woman, please, please, PLEASE men, wear better tights. Those tiny trunks get reeeeeal awkward at certain camera angles. I don't really want to know that much about the superstars, thanks.
And can we please, pretty please, have more Hardys + Balor? I'll be a good girl.
Braun Strowman v Apollo Crews- negative
I made my opinions mostly known earlier, so I'll skip that part. Crews starts stronger than I anticipated, but still gets ruined, and of course Roman comes out to assault Strowman, and they wreck each other... Yawn. Same old sh*t we've seen the entire feud. I don't even care anymore.
I'm mixed on this RAW... There were some good things and some bad things... Overall not the worst I've watched.
With that disclaimer, let's begin!
Enzo opens the show- positive
Enzo opens the show attempting his usual shtick, and I actually like that he's trying to remain normal, but that little hesitation where he should be introducing Cass is a good little character piece that I can appreciate. His promo is heavy with emotion, and though he repeated himself a bit, and maybe went a little bit longer than I would have liked, he makes some good points, and I really liked his little bit about Cass being a catchphrase that he wrote. Excellent.
Cass' Promo Rebuttal- positive
Cass is still awkward on the mic, and this time he doesn't have Enzo to make up for him. He kind of sounds like "generic wrestler #3" in a WWE "make your own career" game. Regardless of all of this, Enzo's attack on him made up for all of it. It's the natural next step after Enzo's promo and it's at the right time in the show to capitalize on the viewer's emotion, which we were still feeling at this point. I don't usually like these spots regardless (it makes heels look like cowards and makes faces look like heels), but in this one rare case, fuelled by emotion, it works.
Listening to Booker's comments regarding the just-announced Enzo v Cass at the PPV, I realized, no one really gives the little guys a chance, but we forget that guys like Chris Jericho, Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero fell into this category in their time... And they're some of the best! So you'd figure that people would be over that by now.
Sasha Banks/Bayley v Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax- negative
I disliked this match early on because of the way they wrote Bayley out of it... If you want the handicap match, book the handicap match! And I bet they wonder in the office why people are saying Bayley's character is dead. Sh*t like this is why.
Despite all of this, I really like Bayley. She makes me smile all the time! In stark contrast, I don't like Nia Jax at all, despite really trying to. Her offence is repetitive and boring, and there's nothing resembling skill in any of it. This whole match to me seems like a disaster.
Brawn Strowman and Kurt Angle- neutral
Strowman is definitely getting better at promos, but he's better at the quiet, intimidating promo instead of the loud, alpha male yelling, in my opinion.
Cedric Alexander v Noam Darr w/ Alicia Fox- neutral
I actually don't care at all about either of these guys or their story, which is not for lack of trying... I don't watch 205Live and RAW does such a terrible job at telling the cruiserweight division that I have no reason to be invested in hardly any of them. Noam Darr and Alicia Fox are completely insufferable, and I imagine they would be fantastic heels if I actually cared.
Miz TV featuring the Jobbers-to-the-Stars
Why in the world would the Miz want to remind us of the absolute sh*tshow that was last week? Beyond that, he made some valid points about Ambrose being the strongest talker in the Shield and having a lot of potential with a Roddy Piper-esque character, and now he's become a comedy act... I can't help but wonder if this is one writer taking a shot at another for how poorly Ambrose has been booked? Are they becoming self-aware? Ambrose comes out to admit that Miz is right, but that he does whatever he wants anyway... I suppose that's an... admirable trait? Slater comes out and points out that because he pinned Miz, he should get a title shot, and he gets one and loses- although it was a much more ven match than I anticipated, and I surprisingly found myself rooting for Slater a bit. And of course, Miz wins with the distraction from Axel and Dallas.
The hilarious thing to me here is that Ambrose called out the PPV for it's sh*t name. I wonder who got mad at him backstage after that segment?
Apollo Crews and Titus O'Neal- negative
Titus tries to convince Crews to make a name for himself by fighting Strowman later. Yeah, because lets bury another talented superstar because we don't know how to write.
Goldust- "The Shattered Truth"- positive
I wonder what it is with the WWE and Hollywood gimmicks? Are they envious of the mainstream attention movies get and are trying to get that for themselves?
Naturally, Truth interrupts to beat Goldust up, and at this point, I feel like I'm actually starting to care a little bit about this feud, when I couldn't give half a sh*t before. So I guess that's a job well done?
Sheamus and Cesaro in Kurt Angle's Office- positive
We get a 30 MINUTE IRON MAN TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH at the PPV. I will take this, and happily. And to keep in fighting shape, Cesaro wants BALOR? I will also happily take this!
Seth Rollins v Curt Hawkins (again)- negative
Before the match even starts, I don't like it. Wasted time with a wasted superstar in Hawkins, and only for Rollins to cut a promo on Wyatt after. Hawkins says he was supposed to face Strowman, and I wish that he had so that Strowman could make him go away altogether. Rollins cut a good promo at the end of the match though.
Samoa Joe/Brock Lesnar Interview- negative
So, are we supposed to think that Lesnar is the face in this situation? I kind of feel like this is what they're trying to do here. Him and Heyman together make Joe out to be a coward, and when Heyman says that Joe has employed cowardly tactics thus far to get the upper hand, he's kind of right. I was super into this match prior to this, but I feel like they've made Joe feel like a less believable threat to Lesnar. And Joe of course takes offence and goes looking for Lesnar, and we get a pull-apart without the brawl, which is kind of the same thing we've seen for three weeks.
Neville v Mustafa Ali- mostly neutral, but Neville is positive
Neville is a fantastic heel (minus the King of the Cruiserweights) gimmick. His "Neville Level" stuff is awesome and the way he plays the heel in the ring is golden. I actually found myself wondering how he was going to pull off being a heel when he made the turn, because he seemed such a natural babyface. I like that he can play both of those roles. This was a fairly enjoyable match, despite having "205Live Syndrome" where I have no emotional connection to Ali so I don't care what happens to him.
Side question... How long do the commercial breaks have to be to change the ropes to the purple ones for every cruiserweight match? Or are they so good at it that they can do it in like no time?
Another aside... I like that Neville has held the title for a significant period of time, because it makes the title seem like it's more important, but there also doesn't really feel like there's many people worthy of challenging him for it, at the same time.
Bray Wyatt Promo- negative
I feel like I don't even have to write negative on it, because my opinion on any Wyatt promo is the same. I didn't like it before it even started, and when he started taking credit for everything that's happened on RAW since he'd been there, I tuned out and skipped the rest. Pure drivel.
Alexa Bliss Promo- positive
She tries to spin her cowardice and intelligence, and Charly actually calls her on it, which I thought was a neat little character moment for her.
FINN BALOR V CESARO- so positive
Before Balor's music even hits, I'm amped. This match, if they don't f*ck with it, could be fantastic. SCREW THE COMMERCIAL BREAK, GIMME BALOR.
Predictably, Sheamus is ringside, I wonder how he's going to muck this up somehow. At this point, no one in the segment is even from North America, I noticed.
The Hardys come out to back up Balor and I lost my sh*t all over again. Having them on commentary, while it falls into the same "we can't let people forget they're feuding, so they have to be involved in each other's segments somehow" issue that Red mentions often, but Matt makes some very good points and is very respectful, building up Sheamus and Cesaro as difficult opponents, and also talks up Balor at the same time. However... FOCUS ON BALOR AND CESARO DAMMIT.
Of course, Sampson comes out to ruin it, but the Hardys come out to try to even numbers. There's a bit of scuffling between non-combatants, and Balor still wins.
Some side notes...
As a woman, please, please, PLEASE men, wear better tights. Those tiny trunks get reeeeeal awkward at certain camera angles. I don't really want to know that much about the superstars, thanks.
And can we please, pretty please, have more Hardys + Balor? I'll be a good girl.
Braun Strowman v Apollo Crews- negative
I made my opinions mostly known earlier, so I'll skip that part. Crews starts stronger than I anticipated, but still gets ruined, and of course Roman comes out to assault Strowman, and they wreck each other... Yawn. Same old sh*t we've seen the entire feud. I don't even care anymore.
I'm mixed on this RAW... There were some good things and some bad things... Overall not the worst I've watched.