BRM Reviews the 4/17/2017 Raw

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 4/17/2017 Raw

Post by Big Red Machine » Apr 19th, '17, 02:08

OPENING SEGMENT- fine
Braun Strowman comes out and says he’s proud of having destroyed Roman last week. He gets huge pops when announcing Roman’s injuries and that Roman won’t be here tonight. He says he is going to “tear through the entire locker room and show the entire world that he is the Monster Among Men.” Isn’t that what he has been doing?
Kurt Angle comes out and asks Braun “what point are you trying to prove?” Then he books Roman vs. Strowman at “the appropriately-named Pay-Per-View, Payback.” Braun says that this will be Roman’s funeral. Kurt says that Braun should be suspended for what he did last week. Well then why didn’t you suspend him, Kurt?
Braun doesn’t want to be suspended. Instead, he wants “more competition. Or else.” Kurt wants to know what “or else” means. I guess he hasn’t been watching the product. Braun walks off, and with anyone else (other than Brock) this would seem like backing down from Kurt, but we’ve seen Braun follow through on these threats before, so my guess is that some undercard babyfaces are going to die tonight.

SAMOA JOE vs. CHRIS JERICHO- 6.5/10
Seth Rollins is on commentary because he’ll be facing Samoa Joe at Payback. I really wish they would just let guys cut promos rather than adding yet another voice (and a distraction from the match) to the commentary table. I don’t want to hear guys having conversations with the announcers about why they don’t like the other guy. I want to hear them cutting angry promos on each other into the camera or to each other’s faces.

SAMOA JOE PROMO- yeah. Kind of like that.

ANDERSON & GALLOWS WALK PAST THE DRIFTER BACKSTAGE- inexplicably, neither of them kicked The Drifter in the head.

THE GOLDEN TRUTH ARE WALKING BACKSTAGE- BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNN!
Hopefully Braun will soon happen upon The Drifter.

These last two segments are a wonderful example of what I’d like to see WWE do more often. They took the standard “guys walking towards the Gorilla Position because their match is next” shot that they always do and figured out to use that to get across the information that they wanted. Rather than just randomly showing The Drifter walking around backstage with nothing else going on (and thus no real reason for them to have cut to backstage) they stuck The Drifter in someone else’s segment, but in a place where he would clearly be noticed. Then, with the Braun attack, they used their conventional shot to subvert our expectations, while also giving a reason for why the camera would be catching this attack (rather than randomly cut backstage to Golden Truth walking around and goofing off just so Braun could attack them).

KURT ANGLE SENDS A REFEREE TO TELL BRAUN TO LEAVE- what a wuss! Kurt should be in there, in Braun’s face himself.

GALLOWS & ANDERSON PROMO- Good promo. They want new opponents, so they get some in the form of Enzo & Cass.

COLIN CASSADY & ENZO AMORE vs. KARL ANDERSON & LUKE GALLOWS- 5.75/10
Standard babyface in peril stuff with a VERY odd finishing move. Anderson threw Enzo thighs-first into the top turnbuckle and Enzo flipped over and landed on his back and got pinned.

MIZ TV WITH SPECIAL GUEST DEAN AMBROSE- a tale of two segments
I despised the beginning of this with a passion. It came across like obnoxious forced WWE-style bland comedy and Ambrose going for the cheap pop was obnoxious because it felt less like a natural thing that would happen and more like a specific “spot” designed and executed solely for the purpose of having Dean show up The Miz. Miz for his part, did not act like someone who had been disrespected and then laid out by Dean last week (for absolutely no reason, might I add).
This is a fine illustration of how WWE’s lack of creativity (or perhaps unwillingness to deviate from their favorite crutch formulae) hurts the product. If you had started watching this from the moment they started to cut promos on each other talking about the real issue in this feud, it would have been an excellent segment. Unfortunately it was brought down by what came before it, which was an introductory period made necessary by the combination of the Miz TV format- or, more specifically, WWE’s version of the “talk show” segment format. If you cut that out then you are left with two guys cutting passionate promos that get heated to the point where they devolved into a physical confrontation. Unfortunately, WWE was either unwilling or unable to find some other way to maneuver these two character into a place where they could cut these promos on each other, so they stuck with their usual Miz TV format, which greatly hurt the beginning of the segment.

BRAUN STROWMAN IS DRAGGING KALISTO AROUND LIKE A CHILD- yes, he is dragging Kalisto around by one arm, making Kalisto look like the biggest loser in the world. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, Braun picked Kalisto up and THREW HIM INTO A DUMPSTER, literally like a sack of garbage. THIS is how they chose have Kalisto make his first appearance on Raw after coming over in the Superstar Shakeup.

Big Show shows up too late to save Kalisto. He knocks Braun into a big metal garage door thing and yells “WHY DON’T YOU PICK ON SOMEBODY YOUR OWN SIZE!” Then he walks away not even trying to help get Kalisto out of the dumpster. This whole thing was like one of BotchedSpot comics about what would happen if Vince got his hands on the Cruiserweight Division come to life.

TJ PERKINS vs. JACK GALLAGHER- 5.5/10
Both Neville and Aries came out with their own music after the two competitors had come out, in order to sit at ringside and watch the match. This made TJP and Gallagher look completely insignificant. As we all knew, this was just a matter of waiting until doing whatever they would do with Aries and Neville on the outside. That being said, they did about the best job they could of giving the guys in the match the chance to get over by giving them a lot of time and by keeping as much of the focus as possible on the finish in the ring.

We’re getting JEFF HARDY VS. CESARO! Why has this not been hyped up constantly for the past hour and a half?!

APOLLO CREWS & TITUS O’NEIL BACKSTAGE- Also Tozawa was there for a moment. I thought Titus was hilarious here. He tried to recruit Crews to The Titus Brand because Crews is about to become a father and thus needs to make more money so he can better support his child. He’s not an idiot, though, so he is skeptical of Titus’ ideas.

HARDYS, SHEAMUS, & CESARO BACKSTAGE- Sheamus’ putting over of the Hardys came across as obnoxiously scripted. The rest of this was fine.

BIG SHOW PROMO- meh

FATAL FOUR-WAY #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH: Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss! vs. Mickie James- 7/10
They had short video packages interspersed throughout the show to hype up each of the women in the #1 contendership match, which did a good job of making the match feel a bit bigger than it otherwise would have.
The story of the match was Nia being a big scary monster and Bliss being sneaky, while Mickie and Sasha were fearless babyfaces. Most importantly, though ALEXA F*CKING BLISS IS YOUR NEW #1 CONTENDER! WWE remembered my birthday! Hopefully WWE’s inexplicable compulsion to humiliate the hometown babyface surfaces once again at Payback and allows Alexa to take Bayley’s title.

CURT HAWKINS PROMO- automatic fast forward.

CURT HAWKINS vs. FINN BALOR- squash
Well… I guess this means that Finn is cleared to compete, so that’s good news.

CHRIS JERICHO PROMO- this was very meh. Then The Drifter drifted through the background. Jericho asks if we know what happens to people who walks through Chris Jericho’s promo. I was hoping that the answer would be “you get your fingers broken and then get your guitar shoved up your ass” but apparently you only get put on the List of Jericho. That damn Drifter keeps getting off too easy, if you ask me.
BRAY WYATT’S “SERMON TO THE SNAKE”- I’m not a snake, so I assume that means I don’t have to listen to Bray’s drivel for the week.

ALICIA FOX & DANA BROOKE WATCH 205 LIVE ON AN IPAD- Babyface Dana is apparently friends with heel Alicia. SCANDAL!
Emma then shows up and lies, saying that Dana was showing a humiliating video of Fox from 205 Live to everyone and then laughing about it. Fox says she no longer wants to be Dana’s friend and storms off. Emma and Fox were as good as could be expected given the bad material they were given to work with. Dana… emotions are not her strong suit as an actress. The anti-charisma thing works as a heel, but here she just comes off as a very bad actress.

CESARO (w/Sheamus) vs. JEFF HARDY (w/Matt Hardy)- 7.5/10

RHYNO & SLATER BOTHER MIKE ROME (and me)- Strowman had better show up kill these two.
And he here comes!
WHAT? NO! Why didn’t Braun stop to destroy Rhyno and his obnoxious friend?

BRAUN STROWMAN vs. THE BIG SHOW- 6.75/10
The match was exciting but I HATED the finish. I saw it coming the moment they went to the top rope the first time. This is a finish that you can only do ONCE (especially since Big Show spilled the beans on it being a work on Jericho’s podcast a few years ago). WWE has now done it THREE TIMES. If you want Braun to do it then at least do it with someone who isn’t Big Show.
I also think that this match was hurt a bit by the fact that we saw this match in a very similar situation a few months ago.
Anyway, Braun stands tall at the end but doesn’t actually get a win because the ring breaking is an automatic no-contest.

This show was quite the mixed bag. There was some very good wrestling on here and almost nothing felt pointless or like it was a waste of time. Most of the angles were good I liked the way they set some things up, but it did have its frustrating moments as well, with the worst of them being the finish of the main event.


Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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Serujuunin
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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/17/2017 Raw

Post by Serujuunin » Apr 19th, '17, 10:21

I really liked Jeff v Cesaro! I might have given it a higher grade personally, but we all know I'm biased. :P

I actually am really into the idea of face v face, and I hope that it continues on with the respectful competition rather than turning one of them (Sheamus and Cesaro, certainly) heel. You don't always have to have a good guy and a bad guy to tell a story!

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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/17/2017 Raw

Post by Big Red Machine » Apr 19th, '17, 10:51

Serujuunin wrote:I really liked Jeff v Cesaro! I might have given it a higher grade personally, but we all know I'm biased. :P

I actually am really into the idea of face v face, and I hope that it continues on with the respectful competition rather than turning one of them (Sheamus and Cesaro, certainly) heel. You don't always have to have a good guy and a bad guy to tell a story!

Exactly. It's something that WWE's mindset doesn't allow for- although my hope is that Ryan Ward (and Hunter) have been changing that, as the most recent instance that I can remember of a babyface vs. babyface program was Neville and Zayn for the NXT Title.

I, too, really hope WWE doesn't turn Sheamus & Cesaro heel because:
1. It's way too soon to turn Sheamus back
2. Cesaro will get cheered anyway, so why fight the fans when you don't have to?
3. The spot they would occupy as heels is already being filled by Gallows & Anderson
4. It wouldn't even matter because the natural way to do these matches would be the big strong bruisers beating up on the smaller guys anyway, and everyone is going to want the Hardys to win in the end so we'll be getting the usual babyface in peril story anyway, but doing it as babyface vs. babyface will make it feel different from every other tag match that we get on every WWE show.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/17/2017 Raw

Post by Big Red Machine » Apr 19th, '17, 10:52

It would have been nice to actually SEE the Revival on this show. Instead of going the crappy Delirious/Kevin Kelly route and having Cole tell us what they told him, we should have gotten a promo by Dash saying exactly what Cole said, while Dawson stood there with his jaw all bandaged up, looking mean and determined.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/17/2017 Raw

Post by Big Red Machine » Apr 23rd, '17, 21:08

This is also the second time since this feud began that they've had Bray give a "Sermon to the Snake/Serpent."
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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/17/2017 Raw

Post by KILLdozer » Apr 24th, '17, 21:35

Big Red Machine wrote:This is also the second time since this feud began that they've had Bray give a "Sermon to the Snake/Serpent."


Of course, because that idiot Bray Wyatt's​ character just has to constantly reek of religious overtones now!
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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/17/2017 Raw

Post by Big Red Machine » Apr 24th, '17, 22:51

KILLdozer wrote:
Big Red Machine wrote:This is also the second time since this feud began that they've had Bray give a "Sermon to the Snake/Serpent."


Of course, because that idiot Bray Wyatt's​ character just has to constantly reek of religious overtones now!

It's more the fact that they're already reusing names that bugs me.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/17/2017 Raw

Post by KILLdozer » Apr 24th, '17, 23:04

Big Red Machine wrote:
KILLdozer wrote:
Big Red Machine wrote:This is also the second time since this feud began that they've had Bray give a "Sermon to the Snake/Serpent."


Of course, because that idiot Bray Wyatt's​ character just has to constantly reek of religious overtones now!

It's more the fact that they're already reusing names that bugs me.


That's because they have to make sure you get exactly the idea they're going for this really scary, idiot.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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