BRM Reviews the 3/13/2017 RAW (terrible)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 3/13/2017 RAW (terrible)

Post by Big Red Machine » Mar 14th, '17, 02:53

PAUL HEYMAN (& BROCK LESNAR) PROMO- very good.

FOLEY & STEPH BACKSTAGE- Steph is trying to smooth things over after what she said to him last week. I don’t give a crap about any of this. This was all building up to Steph ordering Foley to fire someone by the end of the night. One can only assume this will lead to Foley firing himself to save the wrestlers and going out with a big, long, annoying martyr speech.

DANA BROOKE (w/Charlotte) vs. SASHA BANKS (w/Bayley)- 0.25/10
This is the top feud in the women’s division and yet most of the entrances take place during a commercial. Sasha wins in about a minute via roll-up. What purpose did this serve other than to bury Dana.

CHARLOTTE YELLS AT DANA- She says she is getting rid of Dana so Dana turns babyface on her. It got a surprisingly good reaction considering that it came completely out of nowhere (people were even chanting Dana’s name). It also probably would have gotten a bigger pop if they hadn’t already done this back in September and then undone it. Then again, based on the fact that they never mention Bayley’s victory over Charlotte from around that time as well, maybe I just hallucinated those two weeks.

THE WARRIOR AWARD GOES TO ERIC LEGRAND- no, it’s not what Warrior wanted, but at least this one doesn’t feel like as much of a cry for attention from the PR department as last year’s.

TJ PERKINS & AKIRA TOZAWA vs. BRIAN KENDRICK & TONY NESE- 4.75/10
Neville is watching backstage because these four guys plus Aries are going to have a #1 contendership match tomorrow night on 205 Live. Didn’t Aries beat Nese clean last week on 205 Live? So why the hell is Nese in that match?
Nese got the win here to I guess post-facto justify his inclusion, but because everyone in this match is in that match they had him pull TJP’s tights on the finish. Would it really have been so hard to stick two other crusierweights in here and make it a six-man tag so Nese could pin someone clean?

CHARLY CARUSO INTERVIEWS LUKE GALLOWS & KARL ANDERSON- meh.

KEVIN OWENS PROMO- good

SAMOA JOE & KEVIN OWENS vs. CHRIS JERICHO & SAMI ZAYN- 4.5/10
Owens & Joe are DQed for not following tag team rules. The crowd boos. Both babyfaces are taken out in turn two-on-one. The post-match stuff was good, but using a DQ to get there was very frustrating. I would have rather one of the babyfaces been out there to cut a promo which led to both heels coming out and then this happening (with the second babyface getting beaten down when he shows up to make the save)

STEPH, FOLEY, & NIA BACKSTAGE- meh
Steph thinks maybe Foley should fire Zayn but he won’t do it. Nia shows up and wants in the title match at WrestleMania. Steph tells her that she will be added to the match if she beats Bayley tonight.

MICK FOLEY & JINDER MAHAL BACKSTAGE- well… I guess this was a good way to get both the “someone’s getting fired” story and the Rusev-Jinder story on TV.

NEW. DAY TALKS- bad
It’s New Day’s new talk show. It’s set backstage so it doesn’t feel like every other talk show. They say they have “the biggest guest possible,” so… Tom Phillips? Oh. Right. Never mind. The show is called “New Day Talks” and they wouldn’t be able to do that with Tom’s…
AH! Here comes their real guest: Big Show. He will be in the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royale, so the Shaq match is officially off. Titus shows up and tells them to be serious because someone is getting fired tonight. Then he gets into an argument with Big Show about not being in the Jetsons crossover.

ENZO & CASS PROMO- decent

#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH: Colin Cassady & Enzo Amore vs. Cesaro & Sheamus- 4/10
The match ends in the double DQ we all knew it would because this is how WWE always does these sorts of things. Apparently we needed to have a three-way match at WrestleMania.

FOLEY, GALLOWS, & ANDERSON BACKSTAGE- Mick does what we all expect him to do.

ROMAN REIGNS vs. JINDER MAHAL- 3/10
Roman Reigns dominates until he gets distracted by The Undertaker’s dong. Corey Graves becomes the first commentator to actually use the term “Undertaker’s dong” when he said the following:
“That wasn’t just ‘some distraction,’ that was The Undertaker’s dong.” He then continued by saying “there are few sounds in this industry as distinct as that,” which really disappointed me because I was really, truly hoping he would say something along the lines of “there are very few things in our industry as iconic as The Undertaker’s dong” or something that could be similarly misconstrued as a penis joke.
Jinder dominates until Roman makes his comeback and wins. The Undertaker’s dong usually distracts people and makes them lose, but not Roman. He gets to win and then demand The Undertaker’s presence. Well…I guess I should be happy that we got a clean finish and the match went more than a minute.
So Roman calls out The Undertaker and we head to a commercial break, and when we return Roman is confronted by… Shawn Michaels?

ROMAN REIGNS & SHAWN MICHAELS SEGMENT- meh.
Shawn seems to think that Taker has gotten into Roman’s head, but I’ve seen no sign of that. Shawn cut a promo not saying much that was interesting. Then Roman cut a good promo and left. This felt like a filler segment because Taker isn’t here.
Roman heads to the back but gets destroyed by one clothesline from Braun Strowman, so this feud really is still going on.

STEPH & FOLEY BACKSTAGE- snore.
Words are exchanged. Mick is emotional. Steph tells him that if they he doesn’t pick someone to fire then she will.

AUSTIN ARIES vs. ARIYA DAIVARI- 2.75/10
Neville is watching backstage again. This was a short but effective showcase match for Aries in his main roster debut.

BIG SHOW vs. TITUS O’NEIL- 0.25/10
Big Show wins quickly and with many chokeslams, but it didn’t quite feel like a squash.

SASHA & BAYLEY BACKSTAGE- dull

Why do they keep picking these stupid, generic party songs for WrestleMania rather than something intense?
MIKE ROME (not Tom Phillips) INTERVIEWS CHRIS JERICHO- he says he’ll “get the revenge of Jericho” at WrestleMania. Also, he’ll have a talking segment next week. Also, the List of Jericho is back.

IF NIA JAX WINS, SHE GETS ADDED TO THE WWE WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH AT WRESTLEMANIA XXXIII: Nia Jax vs. Bayley- DUD!
Nia gets DQ for not breaking in the corner in a short match, costing herself her chance to challenge for the title at WrestleMania. The announcers all put this over as Nia “making a statement,” so they’re idiots, too.

Roman vs. Strowman is booked for next week.

STEPH MAKES FOLEY FIRE SOMEONE- Foley wants to fire Steph. Steph is rightfully angry because she’s right: Mick doesn’t have the power to do this and Mick knows that, so he should have done what Steph asked him do.
Foley cuts a promo on Steph and Hunter. Apparently he has only now realized that Steph treats the wrestlers like crap. Well… better late than never.
Hunter shows up and blows Mick out of water with logic. Hunter would rather have the TV time spent on the old has-been “nostalgia act” Mick Foley go to a young up-and-comer from NXT. Why is he the heel again?
Words happen. Hunter threatens for fire Mick’s kids. I can guarantee you that no fan at home gives a sh*t about Mick’s kids because most people watching this show would love to either be a wrestler or a member of the Creative team, so seeing people who got the opportunities that we dream of but will never have due to pure nepotism lose their jobs isn’t going to cause us to shed any tears.
More stuff happened. Everyone was good. Hunter, Foley, and Steph all got physical. Rollins hobbled out on one leg and one crutch to try to make the save. Turns out he doesn’t need the crutch. Hunter tells him to come fight so Seth comes in and they fight, with Rollins winning the brawl.
Hunter then grabbed Rollins’ discarded crutch and worked his injured knee over with it. The Hunter-Rollins stuff was good, but the Foley stuff was not.

A TERRIBLE episode of Raw, with lots of short matches, crappy finishes, and way too much focus on Steph and Foley.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/13/2017 RAW (terrible)

Post by cero2k » Mar 14th, '17, 08:52

Big Red Machine wrote:CHARLOTTE YELLS AT DANA- She says she is getting rid of Dana so Dana turns babyface on her. It got a surprisingly good reaction considering that it came completely out of nowhere (people were even chanting Dana’s name). It also probably would have gotten a bigger pop if they hadn’t already done this back in September and then undone it. Then again, based on the fact that they never mention Bayley’s victory over Charlotte from around that time as well, maybe I just hallucinated those two weeks.

well, it wasn't as intense last time, so this one surely felt bigger. I personally loved it, i loved Dana's 'fire' when she was telling charlotte to get in the ring
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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/13/2017 RAW (terrible)

Post by Big Red Machine » Mar 14th, '17, 12:18

cero2k wrote:
Big Red Machine wrote:CHARLOTTE YELLS AT DANA- She says she is getting rid of Dana so Dana turns babyface on her. It got a surprisingly good reaction considering that it came completely out of nowhere (people were even chanting Dana’s name). It also probably would have gotten a bigger pop if they hadn’t already done this back in September and then undone it. Then again, based on the fact that they never mention Bayley’s victory over Charlotte from around that time as well, maybe I just hallucinated those two weeks.

well, it wasn't as intense last time, so this one surely felt bigger. I personally loved it, i loved Dana's 'fire' when she was telling charlotte to get in the ring

I got way too much of the "already saw this happen once and it didn't lead to anything, so why should I care this time?" vibe.

Also, doing this here and now makes absolutely no sense unless they're adding Dana to the WrestleMania match, which would put us up to five.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/13/2017 RAW (terrible)

Post by cero2k » Mar 14th, '17, 13:29

Big Red Machine wrote:
Also, doing this here and now makes absolutely no sense unless they're adding Dana to the WrestleMania match, which would put us up to five.

i'm actually expecting a 6-way with Emma coming back.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/13/2017 RAW (terrible)

Post by Big Red Machine » Mar 14th, '17, 13:45

cero2k wrote:
Big Red Machine wrote:
Also, doing this here and now makes absolutely no sense unless they're adding Dana to the WrestleMania match, which would put us up to five.

i'm actually expecting a 6-way with Emma coming back.

Oh. So just like Smackdown. LOL. Maybe SD will add another team to their tag title match just for symmetry.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/13/2017 RAW (terrible)

Post by cero2k » Mar 14th, '17, 13:48

Big Red Machine wrote:Oh. So just like Smackdown. LOL. Maybe SD will add another team to their tag title match just for symmetry.

does Smackdown even have a match for WM yet?
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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/13/2017 RAW (terrible)

Post by Big Red Machine » Mar 14th, '17, 13:56

cero2k wrote:
Big Red Machine wrote:Oh. So just like Smackdown. LOL. Maybe SD will add another team to their tag title match just for symmetry.

does Smackdown even have a match for WM yet?

I don't think it's been announced or anything, but they certainly seem to be doing Usos vs. American Alpha.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/13/2017 RAW (terrible)

Post by KILLdozer » Mar 22nd, '17, 08:40

Pretty sure we're getting a recycled rehash of wrestlers V the Authority all over again at some point, and Right about now it looks like a 10 person mixed tag, consisting of:

Nia Jax
Samoa Joe
Kevin Owens
Gallows and Anderson

Against

Bailey
Sami Zayn
Seth Rollins
Cesaro and Sheamus

We could see it possibly become 12 person with Sasha and Charlotte involved but I'm not so sure about that.

Maybe not even a big match, but that's what it's shaping up to be one way or another.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/13/2017 RAW (terrible)

Post by cero2k » Mar 22nd, '17, 08:47

KILLdozer wrote:Pretty sure we're getting a recycled rehash of wrestlers V the Authority all over again at some point, and Right about now it looks like a 10 person mixed tag, consisting of:

Nia Jax
Samoa Joe
Kevin Owens
Gallows and Anderson

Against

Bailey
Sami Zayn
Seth Rollins
Cesaro and Sheamus

We could see it possibly become 12 person with Sasha and Charlotte involved but I'm not so sure about that.

Maybe not even a big match, but that's what it's shaping up to be one way or another.

well....it's a better Survivor Series than what they usaully do anyway
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Re: BRM Reviews the 3/13/2017 RAW (terrible)

Post by KILLdozer » Mar 22nd, '17, 09:01

cero2k wrote:
KILLdozer wrote:Pretty sure we're getting a recycled rehash of wrestlers V the Authority all over again at some point, and Right about now it looks like a 10 person mixed tag, consisting of:

Nia Jax
Samoa Joe
Kevin Owens
Gallows and Anderson

Against

Bailey
Sami Zayn
Seth Rollins
Cesaro and Sheamus

We could see it possibly become 12 person with Sasha and Charlotte involved but I'm not so sure about that.

Maybe not even a big match, but that's what it's shaping up to be one way or another.

well....it's a better Survivor Series than what they usaully do anyway


Survivor Series just isn't what it used to be lol.

I didn't think of that though, that's probably when it will happen. .

Completely unrelated, but, I'm watching this week's RAW, as much as they keep highlighting and recapping it-is it actually Reigns Vs The Undertaker, or are we still going with Reigns V Strowman lol?
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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