BRM's thoughts on the 3/14/2011 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- DUMB! Another freakin’ pre-tape! And complete with moronic sound effects. This is the sort of Jackass-ery that doesn’t work in face vs. face feuds. With every passing week, between Cena’s promos (more specifically, the points he makes in them) and Rock’s lack of a satisfying answer, I begin to see Rock more and more as a heel. The problems is that the fans are so enamored by his return that they don’t.
BTW, does anyone know how much Fruity Pebbles is paying WWE for all of this promotion?

Cole in the safety box was ingenious!

THE MIZ vs. THE GREAT KHALI- No Rating. This was mercifully short, it established that Riley is still with Miz, and as a bonus, we got to see Khali gets destroyed with a steel chair.

Cole’s guest is obviously either The Kat or Grand Master Sexay.

Snooki is a cultural scourge. A symbol of so many the things that are wrong with our culture, especially as pertains to our TV schedule. Do we really want her hanging out with babyfaces like Morrison and Trish?

TITLE VS. CAREER MATCH: US Champion Daniel Bryan(c)(w/Gail Kim) vs. Sheamus- 5.5/10 Really good for 6 minutes. I wouldn’t have had this title change here. Instead, I would have had Sheamus win by countout (thus having Dragon retain, but Sheamus not have to retire), and had Sheamus take the belt from Dragon in a normal match at Mania.

LAWLER-COLE FEUD SEGMENT- PERFECT! EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS WAS PERFECT!

RANDY ORTON vs. MASON RYAN (w/CM Punk)- Standard sh*tty Orton match where he wins ion two minutes after an RKO and doesn’t take more than three moves.
VIKCIE-SNOOKI STUFF- Dumb. Just like Snooki.
NO DQ’s MATCH: Vickie Guerrero vs. Trish Stratus- DUD! This was just plain ugly. Trish loses after just one move? COME ON! I would have done the interferences the way they did, but have Layla and Michelle all physically hold Trish down for the pin, and have Trish still struggle to get up (and manage to get up right afterwards (then maybe get beaten down by Lay-Cool a little more until Nattie Neidhart comes out to chase them off (she should be involved here-she is a fellow Canadian who has been feuding with Lay-Cool Let her have a match with them at Mania). This gets heat on the heels while making Trish not look so damn weak (after all, she kicked Lay-Cool’s asses a few weeks ago on PPV)
I do have to give it to Trish though. Did you see the way she lifelessly rolled out of the ring, as if by momentum. She sold Michelle’s kick like Backlund sold Nash’s Jackknife Powerbomb… never mind. Trish just pops back up and picks up the pieces after SNOOKIE takes out Lay-Cool. THIS WAS ATROCIOUS!

And why the hell are Lay-Cool allowed to be here?
WAIT! SH*T! PLEASE TELL ME SNOOKIE WON’T BE PART OF THE MATCH AT MANIA! NOOO!

JOHN CENA vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO- 4.5/10- I am almost okay with this DQ, because Cena vs. Del Rio is way too big a first time match to be randomly wasted on Raw, but it shouldn’t have been the main event. Put this on as the semi-main and have Sheamus vs. Dragon as the main event or something.

Miz’s post-match beatdown was great. I know I can’t fault them for voicing their opinions, but the anti-Cena people were either too loud or too close to the camera. Their cheering kind of ruined this for me.

Mostly and atrocious Raw with one or two gem’s hidden in this cow pie.

[Rabid619]

Cole in the safety box was ingenious!

I thought so as well, i laughed because it was so great.

I wouldn’t have had this title change here. Instead, I would have had Sheamus win by countout (thus having Dragon retain, but Sheamus not have to retire), and had Sheamus take the belt from Dragon in a normal match at Mania.

This would have been a very great idea. I dont like title changes in the first match of a feud, they just piss me off. I know it technically isnt the first match but last week i dont consider as a match because it was like Bryan squashed him.

LAWLER-COLE FEUD SEGMENT- PERFECT! EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS WAS PERFECT!

Do you think they'll have Sexay play a part in the match at Mania? I have a feeling JR likely will to some degree.

[Big Red Machine]

Do you think they'll have Sexay play a part in the match at Mania? I have a feeling JR likely will to some degree.

No idea. Whatever they do, there is no way it will be as good as the scenario that e-moose came up with.

[Earth Child]

What was e-moose's scenario?

[Big Red Machine]

What was e-moose's scenario?

It is in one of the threads in polls about the Cole vs. Lawler match