BRM Reviews the 11/21/2016 Raw (best one in a while)

[Big Red Machine]

GOLDBERG ANNOUNCES THAT HE WILL BE IN THE 2017 ROYAL RUMBLE- ooooh! That’s a great idea! And then Brock can run in and eliminate him to lead to their WrestleMania match. Hmm… that seems kind of familiar, but I just can’t put my finger on why.
Also, he cut an awesome babyface promo, but that first part is the important news. Who would have ever thought that you could make a compelling case that BILL GOLDBERG should win Best on the Mic in the year 2016?
Also, in a separate note (I realize I probably should have swapped the top two paragraphs around and used the header “GOLDBERG PROMO” to make this all flow better, but at this point I think publicly criticizing my own internal structure is funnier), I liked that right off of the bat we are talking about the Royal Rumble, as opposed to what usually happens where no matter how early the December PPV is (and it’s usually the second weekend of the month), WWE still waits until the new year to start building to the Rumble. The way I see it, this is the earliest that you can reasonably have someone talking about the Rumble, and the longer you spend building it up (in an effective manner, of course), the more important it seems.

NEW DAY PROMO- if you’re going to have them break Demolition’s record, they why even make a distinction between the two sets of titles. Setting Demolition’s record as a goal (which it should be) makes the New Day’s current record feel completely meaningless (which it is, but that’s because of how they’ve been booked as champions rather than the concept being bad by itself). It would also be a lot less confusing

WWE RAW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The New Day(c) (w/Xavier Woods) vs. Sheamus & Cesaro- 6.5/10
At this point I’m going in expecting a bullsh*t finish. That’s not a good thing. And of course we got one. Xavier distracted the ref while Kofi tapped. Cesaro went over to yell at the ref and got rolled up and the ref counted the pin while Xavier held Sheamus back so he couldn’t break it up. WHY DOES ANYONE THINK THE NEW DAY ARE BABYFACES?!

CHARLY ASKS JERICHO HOW HE FEELS ABOUT TEAM RAW’S LOSS LAST NIGHT- They tease him being angry at Owens for using the List of Jericho as a weapon, but we all know that’s not what’s going to happen.

SOMEONE STOLE ENZO’S CLOTHES SO HE IS WALKING AROUND NAKED BACKSTAGE- some of this was amusing, but I have to ask why WWE is broadcasting a man walking around nude? Okay, fine, it was more than amusing. I was laughing pretty hard by the end of it just out of sheer absurdity.

FOLEY STEPH CELEBRATE STUFF BACKSTAGE- Steph admits that she wasn’t serious about firing the Raw guys for losing. Well… it’s good that she came to her senses, but it’s not good that they teased a stip but didn’t follow through on it.

SAMI ZAYN, MICK FOLEY, & STEPH BACKSTAGE- terrible.
Sami is being punished because Miz cheated to retain the IC Title last night. WHAT THE F*CK?! The punishment is a match against Braun Strowman.

ARIYA DAIVARI PROMO- he said that Canadians are just as bad as Americans and then cut a promo on Cedric in Farsi. No one responded at all to the promo in Farsi because it was in a language that at least 99% of the people in the building don’t speak.

CEDRIC ALEXANDER vs. ARIYA DAIVARI- 4/10
But good for the time it got.

KEVIN OWENS INTERRUPTS THE HIGHLIGHT REEL- yeah. Okay. Remember that thing that I said earlier would never ever happen? Well… they got me to bite on it. This segment was SOOOOOO F*CKING AMAZING IN SO MANY WAYS. Go watch it now! This was one of the best segments WWE has done all year. The end result of it was our main event, which will be Owens defending the title against Rollins in a No DQs match with Roman and Jericho barred from ringside.

ENZO & CASS PROMO- good

ENZO AMORE (w/Colin Cassady) vs. RUSEV (w/Lana)- no rating, good segment. I like the idea of a SUPER-PISSED Rusev squashing Enzo.

#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH: Gallows & Anderson vs. Golden Truth- 4/10
Gallows & Anderson beat the tag champs two weeks ago. Last week they were on an eight man team that beat the eight-man team that Golden Truth was on, which was the latest episode in a losing streak for them that goes back a whole month. SO WHY THE F*CK IS THIS MATCH EVEN HAPPENING?!
This match should have been a squash.

BRAUN STROWMAN vs. SAMI ZAYN- no rating, bad segment.
Speaking of squashes, Braun jumped Sami from behind. Then he beat the living sh*t out of him for several minutes before Mick Foley came out to order the ref to stop the match and give Strowman the win via stoppage. The Canadian fans were about as happy with this as you would imagine they would be. I’m not rating this as a match because it was clearly intended to be a segment, but it didn’t work at all and whatever they are building to seems absolutely terrible.

EMMALINA IS STILL NOT HERE YET- hurry the f*ck up!

WOMEN’S SEGMENT- Charlotte and Dana come out to brag about Charlotte beating up Bayley but they are interrupted by… Sasha. Not Bayley. If Bayley isn’t the first one out here they should have said she was kayfabe injured. Anything else makes her look bad.
Sasha says she wants her rematch. Charlotte says she’ll get it next week in Charlotte. Charlotte was tremendous here.
Then Nia Jax came out for some reason. This is about the championship, Nia. It doesn’t concern you, so go away! She’s pissed at Sasha for some reason. That reason is that Sasha didn’t pull her weight in last night’s match. She called Sasha an “overrated, purple-haired Barbie doll.” Nia was actually pretty good on the mic here. Charlotte encouraged them to fight, but Dana took it to a whole different level by getting right next to them, yelling and flailing her arms around… and Sasha just turned and punched her right in the f*cking face. I cannot recall the last time I laughed this hard at something on a wresting show. It was so great I had to rewind it to watch it again, and I laughed even harder.
Nia uses this as a distraction to attack to Sasha. Charlotte strutted around and took some cheap shots at Sasha while Nia had her restrained. I think Charlotte definitely deserves consideration for Best Heel of the Year. Who else is up there besides her and Owens (and maybe Joe)?
Bayley came out to make the save… except that she didn’t even manage to make it into the ring as Nia just bumped her off of the apron, which once again made Bayley look like crap. Other than that one bit, though, everything in this segment was ABSOLUTELY TREMENDOUS.

SASHA BANKS & BAYLEY vs. NIA JAX & CHARLOTTE FLAIR (w/Dana Brooke)- 4/10
Good for the time it got. Sasha pins Charlotte to build up to their match.

CHARLY INTERVIEWS SETH ROLLINS- good promo by Rollins.

A POINTLESS VIDEO PACKAGE PUTTING OVER THE ROCK N’ SOCK CONNECTION- I bet this is in Dwayne’s contract that he needs to be put over in some fashion on TV at least once a month.

#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH: Rich Swann vs. TJ Perkins vs. Noam Dar- 6.5/10
Kendrick did guest commentary for this match. He was pretty good.
Shouldn’t TJP be getting a title match no matter what? He beat the champ via count-out in a title match.

CHARLY INTERVIEWS KEVIN OWENS- great

NO DISQUALIFICATIONS MATCH FOR THE WWE UNIVERSAL TITLE WITH ROMAN REIGNS & CHRIS JERICHO BARRED FROM RINGSIDE: Kevin Owens(c) vs. Seth Rollins- 8.25/10
Awesome brawl. The Jericho thing will obviously need to have consequences, but it does make the idea of barring someone from ringside in a No DQs match seem quite silly.

A GREAT show from WWE. One of the best they’ve done in quite a while. I’m SOOOO glad Survivor Series is over.


STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. We can also add Byron to the list of WWE commentators who doesn’t understand that “sole” means “only.”

[cero2k]

GOLDBERG ANNOUNCES THAT HE WILL BE IN THE 2017 ROYAL RUMBLE- ooooh! That’s a great idea! And then Brock can run in and eliminate him to lead to their WrestleMania match. Hmm… that seems kind of familiar, but I just can’t put my finger on why.
so since Eddie is dead, maybe Goldberg will help Sasha Banks win the title at Fastlane

SAMI ZAYN, MICK FOLEY, & STEPH BACKSTAGE- terrible.
Sami is being punished because Miz cheated to retain the IC Title last night. WHAT THE F*CK?! The punishment is a match against Braun Strowman.
Wasn't Sami challenging Strowman to a match no more than a month ago anyway?

I think Charlotte definitely deserves consideration for Best Heel of the Year. Who else is up there besides her and Owens (and maybe Joe)?
Naito, Omega, Cole, Galloway, Scurll, Styles, Revival, Pentagon, Johnny Mundo (my pick so far)

[KILLdozer]

I'm still rolling over the Goldberg and Lesnar match!

Especially after I actually saw it!

Oh ha ha ha ha!

Also... Sasha totally absolutely wins it back next week.

Makes sense, right? ;)

[Big Red Machine]

GOLDBERG ANNOUNCES THAT HE WILL BE IN THE 2017 ROYAL RUMBLE- ooooh! That’s a great idea! And then Brock can run in and eliminate him to lead to their WrestleMania match. Hmm… that seems kind of familiar, but I just can’t put my finger on why.
so since Eddie is dead, maybe Goldberg will help Sasha Banks win the title at Fastlane
The sad part is that i cam 100% see Steph touting Sasha beating Lesnar with help from Goldberg as the next big step ion the women's revolution.
SAMI ZAYN, MICK FOLEY, & STEPH BACKSTAGE- terrible.
Sami is being punished because Miz cheated to retain the IC Title last night. WHAT THE F*CK?! The punishment is a match against Braun Strowman.
Wasn't Sami challenging Strowman to a match no more than a month ago anyway?
Yes, but we're not supposed to remember that.

I think Charlotte definitely deserves consideration for Best Heel of the Year. Who else is up there besides her and Owens (and maybe Joe)?
Naito, Omega, Cole, Galloway, Scurll, Styles, Revival, Pentagon, Johnny Mundo (my pick so far)
Mundo is a good call and Scurll are good calls. Galloway maybe. Cole's heel schtik is good, but not top tier. Revival's isn't even at Cole's level. Definitely not Pentagon Dark. And Naito... I'm really just not into it at all. Doing something like throwing the belts only works for so long, and the years of Bullet CLub interference makes LIJ doing the same thing not nmean much.