BRM Reviews the 4/18/2016 Raw

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 4/18/2016 Raw

Post by Big Red Machine » Apr 19th, '16, 14:12

Hmmm… I wonder what country tonight’s Raw is in?

OPENING SEGMENT- sh*t.
Oh crap. They’re actually following through on this stupid Ambrose talk show gimmick. And they’re also following through on this even stupider “yeah, we’re just going to ignore the results of the Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker match that we pushed so hard and do what we want anyway” thing.
Yeah. That match. That they’re showing me clips of right now. That big dive Shane took that they’re so fond of showing? IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING! HE PUT HIS LIFE ON THE LINE FOR NOTHING because the result of the match that he took that dive in order to try to win have been made MEANINGLESS!
Shane talks about a “new era” where “superstars who never would have gotten a chance” before are thriving. He names AJ Styles, Sami Zayn, Sasha Banks as examples of these people. ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE WERE ON THE MAIN ROSTER BEFORE WRESTLEMANIA! Shane is standing in the ring right now, still getting his way despite having lost a match and now he is taking credit for good decisions that The Authority made! WHAT AN ASSHOLE!
Then Kevin Owens came out and said that this isn’t a new era at all: We have a McMahon running the show and abusing his power to keep down a top star he doesn’t like. And he’s absolutely right!
Owens starts to say mean things about Sami Zayn so Sami comes out and says some stuff about Owens. Then Jericho shows up and says the same things that Owens said about Shane. Jericho is angry that Shane took the Highlight Reel away. Shane said he did this because this new era is about “new opportunities.” Okay. Fine. But that doesn’t mean you have to take away something from someone else. You’ve already got the Highlight Reel and MizTV, so why can’t Ambrose also have a talk show and you have them all alternate or something? By Shane’s own logic here, he should be firing guys like Mark Henry, Kane, and Big Show.
Shane books the two singles matches for the PPV, then just leaves the ring to let these guys fight. The babyfaces clean house.

CHRIS JERICHO vs. SAMI ZAYN- 7/10
Didn’t I just see this on Smackdown? And based on both the finish of that match and the short brawl we just saw, wouldn’t it make a lot more sense to book Owens & Jericho vs. Zayn & Ambrose? Maybe even as tonight’s main event?
Anyway, Michael Cole told us that Shane McMahon made this match during the commercial “exclusively on Facebook.” Are you really telling me that rather than just do the sensible, logical thing, which would be to come out and announce this match to the crowd, Shane instead decided to go make a post on Facebook that he was booking the match? There’s plugging social media… and then there’s this horsesh*t.
Great match, ending in a perfectly fine heel finish.

MAURO RANALLO INTERVIEWS AJ STYLES- OH F*CK THE BULLET CLUB JUST SHOWED UP! MY MIND IS MELTING!
They decide to go find somewhere to catch up. I assume this is laying the seeds for an AJ Styles heel turn. Anyway, apparently they’re friends and AJ put in a good word for them which helped them get hired. And they’re the Bullet Club, and they were all in Japan together… but I’m just supposed to ignore the fact that they beat the sh*t out of AJ and kicked him out of the group? Look… I get that WWE is it’s own “continuity”… but if you’re going to talk about how they were all in New Japan together and call Anderson and Gallows the “Bullet Club,” but then I’m supposed to remember that this isn’t the Bullet Club I actually watched in New Japan… this is all very confusing for me. I really wish they would have just called Anderson and Gallows something else.

ENZO & CASS PROMO- Enzo said that he and Cass “are like A-cups: we’re real, whether you like us or not.” I cannot believe I just heard that on WWE TV.

TAG TEAM #1 CONTENDERSHIP TOURNAMENT SEMI-FINAL MATCH: Colin Cassady & Enzo Amore vs. The Dudley Boys- 5/10
Holy f*ck Enzo & Cass won clean!

ROMAN REIGNS PROMO- this was met with loud boos and chants of “BORING!” Then AJ Styles showed up and the people went bonkers. They cheered everything AJ said and booed everything Roman said. I agree with Cole and JBL that there is definitely a “big fight” atmosphere about this match. A good segment.
Then it got crazy!
AJ turns around and walks off… and then the Bullet Club attack Roman from behind. They hit him with an F-5/Bicycle Kick double-team, a move they have never done before, but Michael Cole somehow knows that it is called by the horrendous name of “Boot of Doom.” When AJ turned around and realized what happened, he seemed very unhappy. He didn’t make a move to go save Roman, but by the time AJ turned around, Gallows and Anderson were already done attacking Roman.

A DUDE INTERVIEWS ROMAN REIGNS- AJ runs over to Roman and assures him he had nothing to do with this attack. Roman doesn’t believe him. This was an awesome segment.

FANDANGO vs. BARON CORBIN- squash
Dolph Ziggler is on commentary. Corbin threw Fandango into him, which is a spot we just saw on Smackdown (and also at least one more time in the past month or so when Owens powerbombed Kalisto into someone). Dolph attacked Corbin after the match but Corbin beat him up and hit him with the End of Days on the floor.

TRUTH ANTI-SMOKING COMMERCIAL- it showed us that Titus O’Neil annoys the f*ck out of Nattie.
Remember when we were kids and these commercials consisted of giant piles of bodies in the streets and telling us all of the terrible things that would happen to us if we smoked cigarettes? Well now they’re got, cartoon unicorns vomiting rainbows, stop-motion cat videos, and this.

MIZ TV- Apparently getting to see hated heel The Miz’s entrance (and hear him getting booed out of the country) was less important than the Colons telling us to visit Puerto Rico with the same video they’ve been using for the past week. They made fun of the royal baby.
Cesaro showed up. Miz did multiple “takes” of a promo to Cesaro. This was dumb and boring. The crowd also hated this. Cesaro was AWESOME. He gave Piper’s “kick ass and chew bubblegum” quote, but in Cesaro’s accent, it sounded kind both awesome and hilarious.
They ended this by doing pretty much the same thing they did on Smackdown on MizTV that I hated where Miz teased accepting a match, but then said “but you are scheduled to wrestle this man instead!” and someone else (this time it was Rusev) came out. Now, they did fix my major complaint about this (that Ryder had been booked in a match that WWE didn’t tell him about but they did tell Miz about) by having Miz say “we both know [that you’re booked against Rusev]” but then they fell into the same plot hole by having Cesaro say “I talked to Shane before I came out here so instead of Me vs. Rusev it’s League of Nations & Miz vs. Me & New Day.” So why the hell did Shane not tell the League of Nations about this? Or have someone inform the ring announcer?
Well… at least setting the match up like this spared me from having to hear a New Day promo.

CESARO & THE NEW DAY vs. THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS & THE MIZ (w/Maryse)- 6.75/10

MAURO RANALLO INTERVIEWS RIC & CHARLOTTE FLAIR- meh.
Do you think WWE even realizes that all of those WOOOOOs are for Ric and not Charlotte? Nattie showed up. The two of them had terrible dialogue for a while (and Nattie’s delivery was pretty horrific, too). This all resulted in Nattie announcing that Shane has given her a rematch at Payback, and Nattie will have Bret in her corner (you know, just like on NXT. Or in my fantasy booking #BRMBookedIt2nd). Ric Flair did not sell this announcement at all. Based on Ric’s reaction Nattie might as well have announced that Bruce Hart would be in her corner.
Here’s a question: Why is Shane allowed to make matches for Payback. He’s only a temporary GM on a weekly basis, right? I know it has been done this way in the past in Guest Host Era, but what’s to stop the Authority from getting off their lazy asses and actually coming to work next week and just changing all of Shane’s PPV matches?

PAIGE, NATALYA, SASHA BANKS, & BECKY LYNCH vs. SUMME RAE, TAMINA, NAOMI, & CHARLOTTE (w/RIc Flair)- 5.75/10
Nattie makes Charlotte tap again to build up to their title match. Good booking.

TAG TEAM #1 CONTENDERSHIP TOURNAMENT SEMI-FINAL MATCH: The Vaudevillains vs. The Usos- 4/10

APOLLO CREWS VIDEO PACKAGE- meh

We return from the commercial with the Ministry of Dorkness in the ring. Michael Cole told us that “the Social Outcasts are set for a big match-up,” which is a clear internal contradiction. No match the Legion of Doomed are involved in can possibly be considered a “big match-up.”

IF CREWS LOSES, HE MUST JOIN THE SOCIAL OUTCASTS, BUT IF HE WINS, THEY MUST LEAVE HIM ALONE FOREVER: Apollo Crews vs. Heath Slater (w/the Social Outcasts)- 3/10
This went WAY too long. This should have been a squash of Goldbergian proportions.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Kevin Owens came out while Crews was on his way up the ramp and before the Loseros del Mal had even left the ring. I was hoping that he was going to come out here and just murder the Sadicalz (and perhaps even invite a few lucky fans into the ring to join him in a game of their beloved “football” with Heath Slater’s severed head) but alas it was not to be. He was just coming out here because I guess they were running short on time or something.

AJ Styles will be on MizTV on Smackdown.

DEAN AMBROSE vs. KEVIN OWENS- 7.75/10
After the match, Jericho attacks Ambrose. A fine Raw.




HUGE pops for Ambrose, Owens, Zayn, Enzo & Cass, AJ, Paige, Sasha, Becky, Bullet Club- (and Jericho & Shane)
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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Serujuunin
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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/18/2016 Raw

Post by Serujuunin » Apr 19th, '16, 17:05

I'm on my phone so I can't quote things, but I have a few observations.

I love how Cesaro's accent means he pronounces every letter in a word. I giggled a little when he said "bubblegum".

And my question is, did Enzo and Cass actually wrestle and beat anyone to end up in the "semifinals" of the tag team tournament, or are they only calling it that because it's the second RAW featuring tag team tournament matches? I don't think they beat anyone to move on from a first round to the semifinals...

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NWK2000
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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/18/2016 Raw

Post by NWK2000 » Apr 19th, '16, 17:32

They seem to be using MizTV quite a lot, I like it, Miz's best talent is talking and hosting a show.
NWK Reviews is closed for business for now.

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cero2k
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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/18/2016 Raw

Post by cero2k » Apr 19th, '16, 19:13

NWK2000 wrote:They seem to be using MizTV quite a lot, I like it, Miz's best talent is talking and hosting a show.
indeed, and it's all building up to Cesaro taking the title, so it's all good.
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Big Red Machine
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Re: BRM Reviews the 4/18/2016 Raw

Post by Big Red Machine » Apr 19th, '16, 20:49

NWK2000 wrote:They seem to be using MizTV quite a lot, I like it, Miz's best talent is talking and hosting a show.
I agree it's definitely a great use for him, but I don't like it when they force it on every show. Do it when there actually is a pot to stir. Basically, I think they're over-using it at this point (especially with this Ambrose talk-show thing, too).
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
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DGUSA Open the Ultimate Gate 2013
ROH/CMLL Global Wars Espectacular: Day 3

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