BRM Reviews the 12/14/2015 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- yeah… I f*cking hated this.
Last night, Steph’s beloved husband got viciously assaulted by one of their employees. So how does she start her promo tonight? “I stand before you as one of the principal owners of WWE… and as far as our society has come, it’s obvious that women in business- women in power- are still seen as cold-hearted, vindictive, and ruthless.”
What the f*ck is she talking about? Where is this coming from? I’d have expected her to start by giving us an update on Hunter’s condition or listing all of the terrible things she will ensure happens to Roman Reigns for his heinous actions. I figured she would be sad and worried about her injured husband, or furious at the man who assaulted him and determined to get her revenge… but no. She’s going to calmly come out here like nothing at all happened last night, and give us lecture about the feminist perspective on something or another. This is not just ridiculous, but when you realize that she has the power to overrule the creative team, it gets downright frightening because that means that she- one of the heirs to this wrestling empire- thought that this would be a great way to start the show.
(And while we’re at it, I’d say that the same “cold-hearted, vindictive, and ruthless” epithet is regularly employed to describe men in power as well, so what is her point?)
Steph says it was “terrible” for her to have to watch her “defenseless” husband be assaulted right in front of her eyes last night. Well… if you’re going to come out and be all “I am woman, hear me roar!” then why didn’t you… you know… try to defend him? (Look up “Two-Man Power Trip Destroys the Hardy Boyz & Lita” on YouTube. That “lie on top of your companion to protect his body with yours spot" was so f*cking amazing- and I know that Kobashi and Misawa did it first, but there’s a big difference between defending someone from taking some chops and defending someone from taking a zillion chairshots from an angry Steve Austin).
I got where she was going by the end of it, but I still didn’t like it. Steph shouldn’t need to come out here and give a grand speech explaining to everyone why she is going to be acting like a heel. She already is a heel… and quite frankly, she’s got a legitimate grievance, so reminding us of that will only hurt what WWE is trying to accomplish. She should have come out here, yelling and screaming and booking Roman in the most punishing matches possible. Bring back Kane to face Roman in an Inferno Match and G-d damn it she hopes Kane burns Roman’s face off.
So Roman Reigns comes out and acts like a huge asshole. Also, he mentioned that today is his daughter’s birthday. How did WWE plan this big crazy angle that should lead to Roman getting suspended and not suspended him so that he could actually be with his daughter on her birthday? They don’t need Roman to be there for Steph (or whoever else) to announce how they are going to punish him.
Roman says “fire me if you want to.” Steph then accuses him of being a “coward.” How does that make any sense? She also calls him a “disgrace,” which Roman responds to by basically saying “no I’m not. You are!” like a five year old. Roman declares Steph’s entire family to be disgraces. Steph slaps Roman a bunch of times, but he barely sells it, and just smirks. He came off like every villain in every action movie where the hero’s wife/girlfriend ever got captured.
Steph then tells Roman that the only reason she didn’t fire him is because Hunter asked her not to… but Vince is on his way here, and he might. “On his way?” Why isn’t Vince here already? You’d think that a major situation like this would require his presence, and the show is in Philly, which is just a few hours away from Stamford.

Also, Cole and JBL said that you should never ever “put your hands on the boss,” at which point I thought of all of the times that Rock, Austin, Cena, HBK, Hunter himself and others did just that.

THE SLAMMYS ARE NEXT WEEK- BOOOO!

DEAN AMBROSE vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER- 6.75/10
Cole told us that we “have to check out the WWE Instagram account right now” to go look at pictures of Roman Reigns’ face, at which point I lost it and shouted “NO! WATCH THE F*CKING MATCH RIGHT NOW!”
Sorry, everyone, but I predict much more yelling in this review’s future.
So the match was really good and I was starting to calm down… and then Kevin Owens came out to cause a DQ. I’m fine with where they’re going and I can’t be upset about Owens kicking people’s asses, but I just was not in the mood for a DQ.

JOJO TRIES TO INTERVIEW KEVIN OWENS- great (although I thought it would have been better if he had responded to her question by slapping the mic out of her hand and walking away).

TEAM ECW PROMO- Is this a promo or a trailer for a movie? They also randomly showed ECW clips of these guys while they were talking.
Apparently we’re going to have an eight man tag match with weapons pitting these four against the Wyatt Family, because I guess we don’t blow feuds off on PPVs anymore even when there was a decisive winner.

They showed a commercial for Smackdown that featured WWE World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus, at which point it hit me that I don’t think they have even mentioned his name yet and we’re 45 minutes into the show.

R-TRUTH vs. BO DALLAS- DUD!
I think there was some sort of timing screw up because it’s fifty minutes into Raw and they are sending out a Superstars match.
So they did one spot, and then the camera cut to backstage because Vince had arrived. They showed us an entire conversation between Vince and Steph, and Vince slowly starting to walk to (presumably) the Gorilla Position. Meanwhile, THERE WAS A MATCH GOING ON IN THE RING! Why even send them out to the ring if the only purpose of sending them out was to have Vince interrupt them? (Or, alternatively, why spoil the fact that Vince had shown up instead of just hitting his music for the big surprise pop?)
Vince tells them to “get the hell out of my ring” because I guess his speech can’t wait a few minutes.

VINCE MCMAHON PROMO- he announced… that he wasn’t going to announce anything until after the commercial break. THEN WHY NOT LET THEM FINISH THEIR F*CKING MATCH?!

VINCE MCMAHON & ROMAN REIGNS SEGMENT- dull
Vince wants Roman to get on his hands and knees and apologize. Roman was smug, so Vince threatened to beat an apology out of him. The people popped for Vince getting ready to put this smug asshole in his place, but then Sheamus came out and offered to beat Roman up for him. Sheamus was so confident that he offered to put the WWE World Heavyweight Title on the line. This seems like quite the 180 from how Sheamus has been portrayed since winning the title.
Vince teases them about being able to see a title match but says they won’t. Roman cuts a promo on Vince which was the second week in a row that he has compared a man’s testicles to a fruit or vegetable. Roman called Vince old, so Vince declared that the match would happen tonight, and if Roman didn’t win, he would be fired. Also, he kicked Roman in the nuts. If they want me to feel sorry for Roman, perhaps they shouldn’t have had him assault an innocent Triple H last night and then spend the past hour bring a dick about it.

JACK SWAGGER & RYBACK vs. THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS (Alberto Del Rio & Rusev) (w/Lana)- 4.75/10

ADAM ROSE’S ROSEBUSH- are they trying to build towards Tommy Dreamer vs. Adam Rose? Because unless that is what they are doing, this was also pointless as well as not being funny.

NEVILLE vs. TYLER BREEZE (w/Summer Rae)- 3.5/10
I assume that the winner of this match will be rewarded by being sent back down to NXT where he will be booked properly. The crowd was completely dead for this match. Miz came out at ringside to shout advice to Neville through a megaphone. The only redeeming feature of his presence was when he engaged in outside antics with Summer Rae, who is perfect in her role as the world’s most obnoxious cheerleader.

MIZ & NEVILLE BACKSTAGE- Neville wants Miz to leave him alone. Miz claims he can get Neville a role in Star Wars VIII. Miz as a manager trying to take credit for Daniel Bryan’s success is a great idea. Then they killed that by having Miz ask Neville to teach him his accent so that he can be the new James Bond.

WYATT FAMILY PROMO- This was entirely pointless.
Rowan is carrying around the white sheep mask that they made a big deal about him destroying as part of undergoing a “transformation” last week (I think Cole mentioned on the PPV that it had happened on Smackdown or on the website).

EXTREME RULES MATCH: The Wyatt Family vs. Team ECW- 8/10
A wild and crazy brawl worth going out of your way to see.

NEW DAY PROMO- Kofi is actually selling his match from last night! Hooray! They call out the Usos and the Lucha Dragons and put them over and there is mutual respect all around. Then the New Day decide to celebrate their win, and the babyfaces attack them for no reason. This sucked.

BRIE BELLA & ALICIA FOX vs. BECKY LYNCH & CHARLOTTE (w/Ric Flair)- 3.75/10
Becky’s win comes with an unknown assist from Ric Flair. Team B.A.D. are watching from ringside, but they are back behind the barricade with the crowd instead of in the ringside area. I guess this is WWE’s way of changing things up. Good job there, creative. Of course, they did absolutely nothing and had no effect on the match whatsoever.

VINCE TALKS TO THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS BACKSTAGE- there was no sound for this. I just want to point out that Wade Barrett was once again absent.

TITLE VS. CAREER MATCH FOR THE WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Sheamus(c) vs. Roman Reigns(career)- 7.75/10
Vince pulled the ref out of the ring when Roman was about to win and the League of Nations (once again sans Barrett) interfered, but Roman managed to overcome the odds and win the match. The people started to go bonkers once Vince got punched out and they figured out a title change was coming. Roman got a nice, long celebration.
I assume that putting the title on Roman was done to create a reason for why he can't get fired for punching Vince or attacking Hunter (otherwise they just could have done a DQ or a count-out). That’s fine and all, except that basically everything on this show made last night’s PPV feel meaningless.

This was a very up and down Raw. It had some great wrestling, but a lot of extremely frustrating crap as well.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. JBL attempted to argue that Stone Cold “raising hell” was bad for business.
This position was so stupid that Michael Cole almost burst out laughing.

2. Cole and JBL tried to sell us that Vince’s nut-shot and Steph’s slaps from earlier in the night will affect Roman’s chances of winning his match tonight.
Yeah. No one seems to be any worse for wear from last night’s super-extreme PPV event, but some slaps three hours ago and a nut shot two hours ago will hurt Roman’s chances of winning his match tonight.

[XIV]

I can only say three things about this Raw.

ECW vs Wyatts (whilst being a pointless match when the feud should be over) was friggin' entertaining.

I miss Vince McMahon. He's just so damn good at being a dick boss.

I actually found myself popping a little bit Reigns win. I had convinced myself that Reigns was going to go through one of those "I'm fired, but I'll somehow win my spot back" that others have gone through in order for him to overcome more adversity.
But yes. I popped for it.

[cero2k]

R-TRUTH vs. BO DALLAS- DUD!
I think there was some sort of timing screw up because it’s fifty minutes into Raw and they are sending out a Superstars match.
So they did one spot, and then the camera cut to backstage because Vince had arrived. They showed us an entire conversation between Vince and Steph, and Vince slowly starting to walk to (presumably) the Gorilla Position. Meanwhile, THERE WAS A MATCH GOING ON IN THE RING! Why even send them out to the ring if the only purpose of sending them out was to have Vince interrupt them? (Or, alternatively, why spoil the fact that Vince had shown up instead of just hitting his music for the big surprise pop?)
Vince tells them to “get the hell out of my ring” because I guess his speech can’t wait a few minutes.
If they ever wanted to confirmed their status on the company, Bo Dallas and Truth are now 100% sure they're jobbers.

VINCE MCMAHON & ROMAN REIGNS SEGMENT- dull
Vince wants Roman to get on his hands and knees and apologize. Roman was smug, so Vince threatened to beat an apology out of him. The people popped for Vince getting ready to put this smug asshole in his place, but then Sheamus came out and offered to beat Roman up for him. Sheamus was so confident that he offered to put the WWE World Heavyweight Title on the line. This seems like quite the 180 from how Sheamus has been portrayed since winning the title.
Vince teases them about being able to see a title match but says they won’t. Roman cuts a promo on Vince which was the second week in a row that he has compared a man’s testicles to a fruit or vegetable. Roman called Vince old, so Vince declared that the match would happen tonight, and if Roman didn’t win, he would be fired. Also, he kicked Roman in the nuts. If they want me to feel sorry for Roman, perhaps they shouldn’t have had him assault an innocent Triple H last night and then spend the past hour bring a dick about it.
Vince felt really weird as the authority character last night. Not that he didn't play his role correctly or anything like that, but the age gap felt really big this time.
When it was Vince vs Austin the gap was a whole lot smaller and we all knew Vince was a ripped freak of nature, I never felt bad for Austin kicking his ass. Now that they did it with Roman, the gap just feels too large. Watching a 30yr old verbally berate and superman punch a 70 yr old felt wrong, even if that 70 yr old was being a dick.
Maybe it was the lack of interaction these two have had, but it felt our of character for a younger wrestler of today to just plain out disrespect Vince.

BRIE BELLA & ALICIA FOX vs. BECKY LYNCH & CHARLOTTE (w/Ric Flair)- 3.75/10
Becky’s win comes with an unknown assist from Ric Flair. Team B.A.D. are watching from ringside, but they are back behind the barricade with the crowd instead of in the ringside area. I guess this is WWE’s way of changing things up. Good job there, creative. Of course, they did absolutely nothing and had no effect on the match whatsoever.
So there was no explanation as to why they had to buy tickets to be at the show ?

[KILLdozer]

Yeah is Wade Barrett such a jerk and a bum now that creative doesn't even want him involved in Main Events?

[Big Red Machine]

R-TRUTH vs. BO DALLAS- DUD!
I think there was some sort of timing screw up because it’s fifty minutes into Raw and they are sending out a Superstars match.
So they did one spot, and then the camera cut to backstage because Vince had arrived. They showed us an entire conversation between Vince and Steph, and Vince slowly starting to walk to (presumably) the Gorilla Position. Meanwhile, THERE WAS A MATCH GOING ON IN THE RING! Why even send them out to the ring if the only purpose of sending them out was to have Vince interrupt them? (Or, alternatively, why spoil the fact that Vince had shown up instead of just hitting his music for the big surprise pop?)
Vince tells them to “get the hell out of my ring” because I guess his speech can’t wait a few minutes.
If they ever wanted to confirmed their status on the company, Bo Dallas and Truth are now 100% sure they're jobbers.

VINCE MCMAHON & ROMAN REIGNS SEGMENT- dull
Vince wants Roman to get on his hands and knees and apologize. Roman was smug, so Vince threatened to beat an apology out of him. The people popped for Vince getting ready to put this smug asshole in his place, but then Sheamus came out and offered to beat Roman up for him. Sheamus was so confident that he offered to put the WWE World Heavyweight Title on the line. This seems like quite the 180 from how Sheamus has been portrayed since winning the title.
Vince teases them about being able to see a title match but says they won’t. Roman cuts a promo on Vince which was the second week in a row that he has compared a man’s testicles to a fruit or vegetable. Roman called Vince old, so Vince declared that the match would happen tonight, and if Roman didn’t win, he would be fired. Also, he kicked Roman in the nuts. If they want me to feel sorry for Roman, perhaps they shouldn’t have had him assault an innocent Triple H last night and then spend the past hour bring a dick about it.
Vince felt really weird as the authority character last night. Not that he didn't play his role correctly or anything like that, but the age gap felt really big this time.
When it was Vince vs Austin the gap was a whole lot smaller and we all knew Vince was a ripped freak of nature, I never felt bad for Austin kicking his ass. Now that they did it with Roman, the gap just feels too large. Watching a 30yr old verbally berate and superman punch a 70 yr old felt wrong, even if that 70 yr old was being a dick.
Maybe it was the lack of interaction these two have had, but it felt our of character for a younger wrestler of today to just plain out disrespect Vince.
I was thinking this, too, when Vince was challenging Roman to a fight
BRIE BELLA & ALICIA FOX vs. BECKY LYNCH & CHARLOTTE (w/Ric Flair)- 3.75/10
Becky’s win comes with an unknown assist from Ric Flair. Team B.A.D. are watching from ringside, but they are back behind the barricade with the crowd instead of in the ringside area. I guess this is WWE’s way of changing things up. Good job there, creative. Of course, they did absolutely nothing and had no effect on the match whatsoever.
So there was no explanation as to why they had to buy tickets to be at the show ?
Is that what happened? I saw they were holding something, but I didn't hear the announcers mention it, and it didn't cross my mind that those would be tickets because why the f*ck would they need tickets. If that is what this was supposed to be, then creative is even dumber than I thought (which is really quite a statement at this point).

[XIV]

Yeah is Wade Barrett such a jerk and a bum now that creative doesn't even want him involved in Main Events?

Barrett's absence is down to injury it seems.

[Big Red Machine]

Barrett's absence is down to injury it seems.

It'd be nice if they would actually acknowledge that so it does feel like they're just forgetting that he is in the stable.

[Serujuunin]

Is it just me, or did the segment with The New Day, The Usos and The Lucha Dragons feel an awful lot like the segment following the first TLC match with E&C, The Hardys and The Dudleys (until the babyface attack at least) where they dropped kayfabe for a sec and were real and honest despite how much they were supposed to hate each other? That's all I could think of at the time.

[Big Red Machine]

Is it just me, or did the segment with The New Day, The Usos and The Lucha Dragons feel an awful lot like the segment following the first TLC match with E&C, The Hardys and The Dudleys (until the babyface attack at least) where they dropped kayfabe for a sec and were real and honest despite how much they were supposed to hate each other? That's all I could think of at the time.

Yes.


Also, I am utterly shocked at the lack of party hat emoticons from you based on the result of the main event.

[Serujuunin]

Is it just me, or did the segment with The New Day, The Usos and The Lucha Dragons feel an awful lot like the segment following the first TLC match with E&C, The Hardys and The Dudleys (until the babyface attack at least) where they dropped kayfabe for a sec and were real and honest despite how much they were supposed to hate each other? That's all I could think of at the time.

Yes.


Also, I am utterly shocked at the lack of party hat emoticons from you based on the result of the main event.

I'm trying to keep it civil. Also, as beyond-stoked as I am for it, at the same time I feel like he's not ready and I worry that it's going to hurt him.

[Big Red Machine]

Is it just me, or did the segment with The New Day, The Usos and The Lucha Dragons feel an awful lot like the segment following the first TLC match with E&C, The Hardys and The Dudleys (until the babyface attack at least) where they dropped kayfabe for a sec and were real and honest despite how much they were supposed to hate each other? That's all I could think of at the time.

Yes.


Also, I am utterly shocked at the lack of party hat emoticons from you based on the result of the main event.

I'm trying to keep it civil. Also, as beyond-stoked as I am for it, at the same time I feel like he's not ready and I worry that it's going to hurt him.

Whether he's ready for it isn't relevant at this point because they've pushed him too fast, so he's already at the point where failing too many times will hurt him, too (and probably even more than winning it before he is ready will hurt him).

[Serujuunin]

Yes.


Also, I am utterly shocked at the lack of party hat emoticons from you based on the result of the main event.

I'm trying to keep it civil. Also, as beyond-stoked as I am for it, at the same time I feel like he's not ready and I worry that it's going to hurt him.

Whether he's ready for it isn't relevant at this point because they've pushed him too fast, so he's already at the point where failing too many times will hurt him, too (and probably even more than winning it before he is ready will hurt him).

I agree there too. Poor guy is in a lose-lose situation. I hope he can make the best of his title run and not have the same issue as Sheamus, where they pushed him to the moon and then he crashed into the mid card... Time will tell.

[Big Red Machine]

I'm trying to keep it civil. Also, as beyond-stoked as I am for it, at the same time I feel like he's not ready and I worry that it's going to hurt him.

Whether he's ready for it isn't relevant at this point because they've pushed him too fast, so he's already at the point where failing too many times will hurt him, too (and probably even more than winning it before he is ready will hurt him).

I agree there too. Poor guy is in a lose-lose situation. I hope he can make the best of his title run and not have the same issue as Sheamus, where they pushed him to the moon and then he crashed into the mid card... Time will tell.

The problem with Sheamus was that they didn't actually put him over strongly on the way up, and then they made the same mistake they've made with Swagger, Dolph, Del Rio, Miz, Barrett, Punk (the first time) and almost everyone else they've tried to push where they don't follow up on the push well and don't continue to portray him as a main eventer after he loses the title.
In Roman's case, you can't possibly argue that they haven't put him over strongly on the way up, and I don't think they'll f*ck up with him afterward he loses the belt. He's the chosen one. The one they've wanted all along. The one they've actual put effort into. They're not going to let him look weak on the way down.

[Serujuunin]

Whether he's ready for it isn't relevant at this point because they've pushed him too fast, so he's already at the point where failing too many times will hurt him, too (and probably even more than winning it before he is ready will hurt him).

I agree there too. Poor guy is in a lose-lose situation. I hope he can make the best of his title run and not have the same issue as Sheamus, where they pushed him to the moon and then he crashed into the mid card... Time will tell.

The problem with Sheamus was that they didn't actually put him over strongly on the way up, and then they made the same mistake they've made with Swagger, Dolph, Del Rio, Miz, Barrett, Punk (the first time) and almost everyone else they've tried to push where they don't follow up on the push well and don't continue to portray him as a main eventer after he loses the title.
In Roman's case, you can't possibly argue that they haven't put him over strongly on the way up, and I don't think they'll f*ck up with him afterward he loses the belt. He's the chosen one. The one they've wanted all along. The one they've actual put effort into. They're not going to let him look weak on the way down.

I REALLY hope you're right.

[Big Red Machine]

I agree there too. Poor guy is in a lose-lose situation. I hope he can make the best of his title run and not have the same issue as Sheamus, where they pushed him to the moon and then he crashed into the mid card... Time will tell.

The problem with Sheamus was that they didn't actually put him over strongly on the way up, and then they made the same mistake they've made with Swagger, Dolph, Del Rio, Miz, Barrett, Punk (the first time) and almost everyone else they've tried to push where they don't follow up on the push well and don't continue to portray him as a main eventer after he loses the title.
In Roman's case, you can't possibly argue that they haven't put him over strongly on the way up, and I don't think they'll f*ck up with him afterward he loses the belt. He's the chosen one. The one they've wanted all along. The one they've actual put effort into. They're not going to let him look weak on the way down.

I REALLY hope you're right.

They're definitely dead-set on Roman being THE guy. If they weren't so dead-set on him, they would have shifted their focus to Bryan or Cesaro or Dean or Ziggler, or any of the other guys who have been a lot more over than Roman for the past eighteen months.

[Serujuunin]

The problem with Sheamus was that they didn't actually put him over strongly on the way up, and then they made the same mistake they've made with Swagger, Dolph, Del Rio, Miz, Barrett, Punk (the first time) and almost everyone else they've tried to push where they don't follow up on the push well and don't continue to portray him as a main eventer after he loses the title.
In Roman's case, you can't possibly argue that they haven't put him over strongly on the way up, and I don't think they'll f*ck up with him afterward he loses the belt. He's the chosen one. The one they've wanted all along. The one they've actual put effort into. They're not going to let him look weak on the way down.

I REALLY hope you're right.

They're definitely dead-set on Roman being THE guy. If they weren't so dead-set on him, they would have shifted their focus to Bryan or Cesaro or Dean or Ziggler, or any of the other guys who have been a lot more over than Roman for the past eighteen months.

That's assuming they have brains in their heads, and if the recent past is anything to go by, I wonder about that...

[Big Red Machine]

I REALLY hope you're right.

They're definitely dead-set on Roman being THE guy. If they weren't so dead-set on him, they would have shifted their focus to Bryan or Cesaro or Dean or Ziggler, or any of the other guys who have been a lot more over than Roman for the past eighteen months.

That's assuming they have brains in their heads, and if the recent past is anything to go by, I wonder about that...

In some ways, I'd almost be happier if they screwed up with Roman, too, because then I could believe that their failures with Owens, Ambrose, Ziggler, Cesaro, Barrett etc. were also due to just pure incompetence rather than deliberate self-sabotage all to ensure that the only guy who is allowed to be a star is the one guy that they have chosen.

[Serujuunin]

They're definitely dead-set on Roman being THE guy. If they weren't so dead-set on him, they would have shifted their focus to Bryan or Cesaro or Dean or Ziggler, or any of the other guys who have been a lot more over than Roman for the past eighteen months.

That's assuming they have brains in their heads, and if the recent past is anything to go by, I wonder about that...

In some ways, I'd almost be happier if they screwed up with Roman, too, because then I could believe that their failures with Owens, Ambrose, Ziggler, Cesaro, Barrett etc. were also due to just pure incompetence rather than deliberate self-sabotage all to ensure that the only guy who is allowed to be a star is the one guy that they have chosen.

It's always been the guy they've chosen though. Even when other guys have the titles, the focus has always been on their guys. The only exception I can think of is Austin, and they would have been downright foolish to ignore the massive following he had. Which isn't to say that they aren't being that way now with the aforementioned guys.

Let's just say, what the fans want has little impact on what actually happens.