BRM Reviews the 12/7/2015 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

So… the first commercial for Smackdown’s move to USA is… Roman Reigns being frustrated that he can’t figure out how to fold a cardboard box, so he rips it in half.
The second commercial involved Cesaro carrying a box of stuff, including a rubber chicken, and walking out of an elevator.
Commercial #3 is people auditioning their ideas for the announcement in front of Hunter and Steph. Included in this was Roman offering to get it tattooed on his back and, in the only funny moment, Kane’s pitch was “I haven’t worked out all the details yet, but it involves setting something on fire.” Of course, Hunter and Steph buried all of them.
#4 featured Titus O’Neil pushing a dolly that Sasha Banks was lying on. Others showed up at the end.
Commercial #5 had the Wyatts talking to a temp.
Good job there, WWE and USA. You do realize that this isn’t a dramedy, right?
Here’s an idea… WHY NOT SHOW HIGHLIGHTS OF WRESTLING?

Oh. Wow. There’s actually a good Smackdown to USA commercial featuring the Bellas. No wait. That’s an anti-tobacco commercial.

OPENING SEGMENT- Sooo… rumor has it that we will be seeing “big changes” starting on Raw tonight. The show started off with heels cutting a long promo in the ring.
Sheamus says that WWE has “officially entered into the international era” because his group is called the League of Nations, as if WWE has never had a stable of non-Americans before. Del Rio is apparently from Mexico now, with no mention of Mexamerica, which is a good change.
Sheamus continued to cut his promo until the Wyatts magicked themselves into the ring. They seem like they’re about to fight but then Dreamer and the Dudleys came out and Devon said that ”when you’re extreme, you don’t die: you multiply” which was in poor taste the day after Hack Myers died. Then Rhyno came out to join them. Then headed for the ring, but then Roman Reigns’ music played and Roman & Friends came out and we went to commercial. Boy. I sure hope nothing exciting happens during this commercial on this live and totally not scripted TV show.
(and to make matters worse, the first commercial we got was for Austin’s podcast with HBK).
When we came back from commercial, they were just starting a 16 man tag match, but before I get into that, let me explain why I didn’t like this segment: It was lazy. It was lazy, and it was lazy in a way that exposes exactly why nothing in this company will ever change.
They wanted to make a big splash at the beginning of the show, so what did they do? Did they announce a blockbuster match for later tonight- maybe something with a crazy workrate like Del Rio vs. Ziggler, or something that just oozes coolness like the Dudleys vs. Dean & Roman? Did they start off with some major angle? Or maybe a big change to status quo? Nope.
Instead they tried to grab our attention with something most people would probably find cool- League of Nations vs. Wyatts, but with no intention of ever giving it to us. Instead, they just set up this giant tag team match. They’re not trying to get more people to watch by changing the show. They’re trying to get people to watch by trying to trick us- teasing us with something we’ll never get (do you honestly think they’ll ever revisit… or even MENTION this little confrontation between the Wyatts and the League of Nations again?)- and then they’re just going to give us the same show as usual. They don’t think anything is wrong with their show. They think there is something wrong with us because we don’t enjoy it.
A bunch of these guys have title matches coming up on the PPV in just six days that have gotten very little build. Others (Rusev & Barrett, for example), have not been built in any direction at all for the PPV, which you’d think they’d be on seeing as how they’re now theoretically an important part of the show. Maybe try to actually justify the TLC stip in Roman vs. Sheamus?
But no. Instead they’re just throwing a bunch of guys into a big clusterf*ck. Yes, the Wyatts and Dudleys are on opposite sides, but who cares? We’ve seen that every damn show since the feud started. Hell… we already saw Bray go through a table, so why should I even care about that match? This is not a question WWE creative thinks is important enough to try to answer.
FOUR WAY SIXTEEN MAN TAG TEAM ELIMINATON CLUSTERF*CK: The Wyatt Family vs. The League of Nations vs. Team ECW vs. Roman Reigns, the Usos, & Dean Ambrose- 7/10
The elimination stip, of course, means that you’ll either have to beat the League of Nations in just their second week, or you’ll have to beat Roman’s team, every last one of whom will be challenging for a title in six days on PPV.
Rhyno has a beard now. Team ECW eliminates the Wyatts with Tommy Dreamer, an old fart who won’t be around in two weeks, pinning Erick Rowan. Hooray. The babyfaces have prevailed, so I guess I don’t need to watch Sunday’s PPV to see them get their revenge.
The match was hard to follow when there were so many people around and a poor booking idea, IMO, but it was very enjoyable, and I guess that between the last two teams, Roman pinning Sheamus was the best way to go.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS SHEAMUS- meh

STARDUST PROMO- He talked about movies while wearing 3-D glasses. Then Titus O’Neil showed up, which, for some reason, caused Stardust’s music to stop playing. This whole thing was intolerable. I’m also almost certain that Titus utter the word “bullsh*t.”

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. KEVIN OWENS- 7.25/10
Even though this match was Dolph vs. Owens, Tyler Breeze got to do his entrance between them. He did nothing during the match. He was just there to watch. Speaking of watching, Dean Ambrose watched the match backstage, then came out after the end of the match in order to be a total dick to Owens, throwing soda and popcorn in his face for no reason. What an asshole. I’d sure hate it if someone did that to me. I hope Kevin Owens kicks his ass at TLC.

WYATT FAMILY PROMO- decent

We got a slide called “superstars exposed” which told us that Lana used to dance for Nelly and was in Pitch Perfect. I assume that this part of the script was originally written in the blood drained from kayfabe’s dead corpse.
I mean… what was the point of this? What was to be gained from broadcasting this information to the world? And was it really worth completely destroying a character you’ve spent so much time trying to push this year?

MIZ & NEVILLE BACKSTAGE- Miz wants to manage Neville and jazz him up a bit.

BRIE BELLA & ALICIA FOX vs. TEAM B.A.D. (w/Tamina)- 4.75/10
Team B.A.D. are still being annoying with their “UNITTTTTTTTTTTTY” crap.
The match was getting pretty good. I would have liked to see it got another ten minutes.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- The New Day came out and gave Team B.A.D. their unicorn horns. That is not a euphemism. Then they all danced. This was pointless and dumb.
When we come back from commercial, New Day are still in the ring, but the Usos are on commentary.

NEW DAY PROMO- really annoying and stupid but I will admit I laughed at it. That doesn’t mean it was good for the wrestling show. It just means it was funny. Also, apparently the tag title match will be a ladder match.

LUCHA DRAGONS vs. NEW DAY (w/Xavier Woods)- 3/10
They had a short match that ended when Xavier was extremely annoying to the Usos, so they gave him a well-deserved ass-kicking (although, to be honest, I think it would have been better with just the KO punch and none of the stomps. Those felt heelish), which distracted Kofi, allowing him to be pinned.

John Cena will be on the Tonight Show. They haven’t explained why he hasn’t shown up to work for the past month and a half, but they do plug his appearance on the Tonight Show. Would it really have been that hard to just say that Del Rio injured Cena’s arm with the cross armbreaker or gave him a concussion with his superkick or however he beat him? In fact, makes complete and total sense to do that if you are going to go with Cena vs. Del Rio for the US Title when Cena returns (as the local market commercial I saw for the house show on 12/26 was advertising).

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS ROMAN REIGNS- terrible. They tried to make Roman be funny. It didn’t work. It started off with this gem: “Sheamus wants to teach me a lesson? Is he a professor or something?”

MIZ TV WITH SPECIAL GUESTS CHARLOTTE AND RIC FLAIR- bad
Byron Saxton says that Charlotte thinks she should be seen as “the leader of the Divas Revolution” which is like wanting to be seen as the leader of the Flat Earth Society.
Charlotte announced that Flair would be in her corner. Miz then asked her how she justifies her new heelish attitude. Charlotte responded by first saying was doing what her father taught her to (#BRMBookedItFirst), and then by throwing out a wild and completely unfounded accusation of sexism on Miz’s part. She claims that if she were male, Miz would be commending her cheating… because we’ve NEVER seen Miz put over female heels for cheating before, right?
Miz, like a good reporter, ignored her unfounded and inappropriate ad hominem attack and pressed on for answers to his completely legitimate question. Ric stepped in and said that this is not the place for Miz to be giving Charlotte the third degree. If they didn’t want Miz asking her questions, then why did they come on his show?
Miz finally managed to goad Charlotte into actually doing her job and cutting a promo on Paige, then revealed that Paige was really here. Paige came out looking for a fight, looking for all the world like she’s supposed to be a babyface. Charlotte backed down (at Ric’s advising). And in case you thought the above #BRMBookedItFirst was unwarranted, Ric said, word for word “we are Flairs are champions.” THEY’RE STEALING MY SH*T!
Paige slapped Ric, who then ordered Charlotte to “get her!” but Paige escaped.

JBL’s WWE Network flashcards are back. Uch.

RUSEV & LANA INSET PROMO- they champion love and forgiveness. Well… I think we know what Jimmy Jacobs has been up to on the creative team.

RYBACK vs. RUSEV (w/Lana)- 5/10
It looks like they realized that last week’s angle made Rusev look like a babyface and Ryback look like a heel, so they did something to turn that around. Good.

We came back from commercial IN THE MIDDLE OF A MATCH…

JACK SWAGGER vs. STARDUST- 0.5/10
Titus O’Neil was on commentary (because that’s how you build feuds, dammit! You have the other guy either on commentary or watching the monitor in the back. Not by cutting promos to build to the match and trying to tell a story). Soon after we joined the match, Del Rio and Zeb showed up. Titus talked about how the Stardust gimmick is stupid bullsh*t that was basically destroyed Cody Rhodes’ career. If this is supposed to be the angle, why didn’t they have him say this TO STARDUST in any of those stupid backstage segments they’ve done recently.
Swagger won, but then Del Rio attacked him with a chair. Stardust tried to attack Del Rio, but Titus warned him. Swagger got a chair and fought Del Rio off. The Swagger-Del Rio stuff was good, and I guess I can get behind the Titus-Stardust stuff if it leads to the end of Stardust.

ADAM ROSE’S ROSEBUSH- almost as unfunny as last week. This sh*t is terrible and I hope to never see it again.

ZEB & DEL RIO BREAK UP- yeah. That definitely justified this dumb “Mexamerica” crap.

BRAUN STROWMAN (w/the Wyatt Family) vs. TOMMY DREAMER (w/Rhyno & The Dudley Boyz)- 0.5/10

OH MY G-D SHUT UP WITH THE “SCHOOL/LESSON” REFERENCES! It’ a f*cking expression! Don’t beat it into the ground!

CLOSING SEGMENT- Roman’s first promo was good, aside from the part where he was simultaneously using metaphors about climbing a ladder and “digging.” Also, that part about destroying the arena probably wasn’t the best of ideas.
Then Sheamus came out and he cut a bad promo. Then Roman responded with an even worse promo in which he went so low as to laugh at his own joke. They looked like they were about to fight but Sheamus backed down to cut yet another promo. They wasted tome not fighting, which is not what I wanted to see. I just got progressively more and more annoyed as this went on, to the point where when they finally did fight, I just didn’t care.

I really don’t know how to feel about this Raw. There was definitely more emphasis on the wrestling, but at the same time it was poorly booked, full of bad segments, and my objections to the opening segment still stand.

[XIV]

1) Do you know what's funny. I sat there last night )technically early hours of the morning) after watching Raw and I also thought to myself. I don't know how I feel about that Raw. I didn't enjoy the ending, it wasn't a traditional pre-PPV Raw finish. But it wasn't new in a way I wanted it. I like you was so bored of the talking, that by the time he got in the ring, I just didn't care.

And besides, the whole time Roman was saying "come in here, get in this ring" etc. I was just thinking, "Why not just go and get Sheamus, you are looking equally like a chickenshit bitch"

2) Tommy Dreamer got too much exposure this show. A 1v1 match AND eliminating the Wyatt Family from the 16-man tag. It made no sense for it to be Dreamer, as you correctly say. a couple of weeks from now, he won't be on TV.

3) Am I the only one who thinks that the Breeze/Ziggler storyline should end? These two should either be a team (like a teacher/mentor prettyboy deal) or just nothing at all.

4) Stop trying to make Adam Rose legitimate WWE Creative. You've ruined him.

5) Why did they make Dean Ambrose the heel for 10 seconds against Owens? I too want Owens to now kick Ambrose's ass, because even though Dean is supposed to be unhinged and a lunatic. Throwing popcorn and a soft drink in someone's face is just a dick move.

6) League of Nations. Right stable. Wrong time. UNLESS they push Barrett & Rusev as a legitimate tag team and push them for the Gold. So they can hold all the titles and give it the ol' timeless classic "we're better than the Americans, we have everything, you have nothing" angle.

7) The New Day are just cheerleaders for all heels. And this in turn makes them just a far more enjoyable stable. One of the best things about WWE TV right now.

8) Charlotte Flair. I just can't buy into it. I want to. I really want to. But I just can't. The turnaround in personality is so quick as was adequately pointed out by The Miz. "A few weeks ago you were crying about your besties". But they need to really do something next week to clearly define who is supposed to be the heel between Paige & Charlotte...

[Big Red Machine]

1) Do you know what's funny. I sat there last night )technically early hours of the morning) after watching Raw and I also thought to myself. I don't know how I feel about that Raw. I didn't enjoy the ending, it wasn't a traditional pre-PPV Raw finish. But it wasn't new in a way I wanted it. I like you was so bored of the talking, that by the time he got in the ring, I just didn't care.

And besides, the whole time Roman was saying "come in here, get in this ring" etc. I was just thinking, "Why not just go and get Sheamus, you are looking equally like a chickenshit bitch"

2) Tommy Dreamer got too much exposure this show. A 1v1 match AND eliminating the Wyatt Family from the 16-man tag. It made no sense for it to be Dreamer, as you correctly say. a couple of weeks from now, he won't be on TV.

3) Am I the only one who thinks that the Breeze/Ziggler storyline should end? These two should either be a team (like a teacher/mentor prettyboy deal) or just nothing at all.

4) Stop trying to make Adam Rose legitimate WWE Creative. You've ruined him.

5) Why did they make Dean Ambrose the heel for 10 seconds against Owens? I too want Owens to now kick Ambrose's ass, because even though Dean is supposed to be unhinged and a lunatic. Throwing popcorn and a soft drink in someone's face is just a dick move.

6) League of Nations. Right stable. Wrong time. UNLESS they push Barrett & Rusev as a legitimate tag team and push them for the Gold. So they can hold all the titles and give it the ol' timeless classic "we're better than the Americans, we have everything, you have nothing" angle.

7) The New Day are just cheerleaders for all heels. And this in turn makes them just a far more enjoyable stable. One of the best things about WWE TV right now.

8) Charlotte Flair. I just can't buy into it. I want to. I really want to. But I just can't. The turnaround in personality is so quick as was adequately pointed out by The Miz. "A few weeks ago you were crying about your besties". But they need to really do something next week to clearly define who is supposed to be the heel between Paige & Charlotte...

1) That didn't even cross my mind, but you're 100% right. If the heel doesn't want to fight, you bring the fight to the heel.
3) The angle has been terrible, but I'd rather have it end with Breeze decisively winning the feud than have it just end right now.
4) This
5) Because they don't know what they're doing. They're still in that mindset of someone like DX or the Rock or even occasionally Austin being a dick to someone and everyone popping.
6) Agreed
7) Strongly disagree
8) Yup. Not only that, but when you consider how much time they spent building her up to be the top babyface who finally took the title from Nikki Bella, the idea of turning her heel less than three months later is utterly ludicrous.

[XIV]

I'm agreeing that now it's started (Breeze vs Ziggler) it needs to end properly. Why not have Breeze win and then have Ziggler say "you know what, you've got it kid, let's team this up" this turning Ziggler heel which I think is far better for him.

The Charlotte thing just annoys me for just that reason, you've built her up with the whole "I want to do it my way, judge me for me not my father" blah blah and then turn it around a couple months later. Right heel turn though, should've maybe waited until closer to Mania or with her title run getting closer and closer to being over, she starts to use dirtier and dirtier tactics to win and scrape through matches.

[Big Red Machine]

I'm agreeing that now it's started (Breeze vs Ziggler) it needs to end properly. Why not have Breeze win and then have Ziggler say "you know what, you've got it kid, let's team this up" this turning Ziggler heel which I think is far better for him.

The Charlotte thing just annoys me for just that reason, you've built her up with the whole "I want to do it my way, judge me for me not my father" blah blah and then turn it around a couple months later. Right heel turn though, should've maybe waited until closer to Mania or with her title run getting closer and closer to being over, she starts to use dirtier and dirtier tactics to win and scrape through matches.

For Ziggler, I'd be fine with him turning heel, but I think Breeze needs time to get his gimmick over without a tag partner around him.

With Charlotte, I think they should have waited at least a year before turning Charlotte heel (maybe even longer).

[Serujuunin]

Stardust and Titus made me giggle. And I liked when Roman called Sheamus "tater tot".

[Big Red Machine]

Stardust and Titus made me giggle. And I liked when Roman called Sheamus "tater tot".

It's the sort of thing that is funny once, but you just know that WWE will make sure it comes up 24/7.

[cero2k]

Stardust and Titus made me giggle. And I liked when Roman called Sheamus "tater tot".

It's the sort of thing that is funny once, but you just know that WWE will make sure it comes up 24/7.

i thought it was a good line for Cena, hell, even Rock would have made it awesome, but Reigns looks bad delivering it

[Serujuunin]

Stardust and Titus made me giggle. And I liked when Roman called Sheamus "tater tot".

It's the sort of thing that is funny once, but you just know that WWE will make sure it comes up 24/7.

i thought it was a good line for Cena, hell, even Rock would have made it awesome, but Reigns looks bad delivering it

I half agree with you lol. Cena, Jericho, Rock would have made it hilarious. But for me, Roman never looks bad.

I am still female after all.

[Big Red Machine]

Stardust and Titus made me giggle. And I liked when Roman called Sheamus "tater tot".

It's the sort of thing that is funny once, but you just know that WWE will make sure it comes up 24/7.

i thought it was a good line for Cena, hell, even Rock would have made it awesome, but Reigns looks bad delivering it

Because it's not in character for him. Roman looks bad delivering it because half-witty one-liners are not his strength.

[Serujuunin]

It's the sort of thing that is funny once, but you just know that WWE will make sure it comes up 24/7.

i thought it was a good line for Cena, hell, even Rock would have made it awesome, but Reigns looks bad delivering it

Because it's not in character for him. Roman looks bad delivering it because half-witty one-liners are not his strength.

Agreed. he just needs to not talk. It works better for his character anyway. And in the meantime, get him to spend some time with his best buddy Jericho and cousin Dwayne.

[Big Red Machine]

i thought it was a good line for Cena, hell, even Rock would have made it awesome, but Reigns looks bad delivering it

Because it's not in character for him. Roman looks bad delivering it because half-witty one-liners are not his strength.

Agreed. he just needs to not talk. It works better for his character anyway. And in the meantime, get him to spend some time with his best buddy Jericho and cousin Dwayne.

That didn't work out so well for Cousin Dwayne last time.

[Serujuunin]

Because it's not in character for him. Roman looks bad delivering it because half-witty one-liners are not his strength.

Agreed. he just needs to not talk. It works better for his character anyway. And in the meantime, get him to spend some time with his best buddy Jericho and cousin Dwayne.

That didn't work out so well for Cousin Dwayne last time.

Are you referring to his bomb of a promo following last years Rumble?

I didn't necessarily mean on TV. He just has all these resources available for improvement on the mic and doesn't appear to be using them.

[Big Red Machine]

Agreed. he just needs to not talk. It works better for his character anyway. And in the meantime, get him to spend some time with his best buddy Jericho and cousin Dwayne.

That didn't work out so well for Cousin Dwayne last time.

Are you referring to his bomb of a promo following last years Rumble?

I didn't necessarily mean on TV. He just has all these resources available for improvement on the mic and doesn't appear to be using them.

That is what I was referring to.

I don't think that spending time practicing with Rock or Jericho will help his promos that much. It might help to improve his range as an actor, but "witty" isn't an emotion. It's not going to help him delivery bad comedy material that both isn't funny and is way out of character for him. Roman needs to be a silent badass and I don't think he needs help to do that. He just needs creative to book him that way.

[Serujuunin]

That didn't work out so well for Cousin Dwayne last time.

Are you referring to his bomb of a promo following last years Rumble?

I didn't necessarily mean on TV. He just has all these resources available for improvement on the mic and doesn't appear to be using them.

That is what I was referring to.

I don't think that spending time practicing with Rock or Jericho will help his promos that much. It might help to improve his range as an actor, but "witty" isn't an emotion. It's not going to help him delivery bad comedy material that both isn't funny and is way out of character for him. Roman needs to be a silent badass and I don't think he needs help to do that. He just needs creative to book him that way.

Oh I absolutely agree with you. But he unfortunately has to have the tools to turn the crap he's being given into something moderately watchable, since the WWE is showing no signs of growing a brain. Wit cannot be taught, but maybe he can develop some more charisma and work on his delivery.

It's not his fault, which makes it even sadder. He has all the potential to be the silent badass and have people like him, but they're stuck on the whole 'replace John Cena' thing so they're trying to make him into John Cena, which is never going to happen.

[XIV]

Reigns needs Paul Heyman.

Now that would get me interested in Reigns.

[Serujuunin]

Reigns needs Paul Heyman.

Now that would get me interested in Reigns.

It's hilarious that you say that, I was just saying that to my sister the other day (who doesn't watch wrestling at all except enough to know who everyone is). She agrees too, even though neither of us are fans of his.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate what he's capable of doing, and his promos don't ever have me changing the channel or anything. He's just done his job right, and I don't like him haha.

Except that means turning Roman heel and I don't think they want to do that.

[XIV]

Making Roman heel is the only way to really get him over. Sadly you are right. They won't want to.

I know Vince always believes he's right and that he knows what the people want. But they don't want Roman in his current package right now. We've had to deal with the "overcoming adversity" character with Cena for the last decade.

So we don't need it now with Reigns.

[Big Red Machine]

Making Roman heel is the only way to really get him over. Sadly you are right. They won't want to.

I know Vince always believes he's right and that he knows what the people want. But they don't want Roman in his current package right now. We've had to deal with the "overcoming adversity" character with Cena for the last decade.

So we don't need it now with Reigns.

The other problem Vince isn't seeing is that Cena got over HUGE first, and then, when people got tired of him, THAT is when the mixed reactions started. With Roman, he's just getting mixed reactions.

[XIV]

Making Roman heel is the only way to really get him over. Sadly you are right. They won't want to.

I know Vince always believes he's right and that he knows what the people want. But they don't want Roman in his current package right now. We've had to deal with the "overcoming adversity" character with Cena for the last decade.

So we don't need it now with Reigns.

The other problem Vince isn't seeing is that Cena got over HUGE first, and then, when people got tired of him, THAT is when the mixed reactions started. With Roman, he's just getting mixed reactions.

Not only this but John Cena is actually savvy enough to use the mixed reactions to his advantage both during promos and in matches. Reigns currently lacks the charisma & experience to do this.