BRM Reviews 3PW Babes, Belts, & Blood (bad)

[Big Red Machine]

3PW Babes, Belts, & Blood (8/24/2002)- Philadelphia, PA

3PW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND MATCH: Joey Matthews vs. “Pitbull” Gary Wolfe- 4.5/10

3PW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND MATCH: Christian York vs. The Blue Meanie- 4/10
How the hell did the ref not see York using the tights? Anyway, the only thing of note in this match was York slipping on the apron and taking a spill that looked like it hurt like hell, but he soldiered through it.

3PW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND MATCH: Rocco Rock vs. Chris Chetti-4.75/10
They brawl I the crowd and use some weapons, then Rocco Rock wins with a school boy during which it didn’t look like Chetti was even trying to kick out.

3PW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND MATCH: Devon Storm vs. Danny Doring- 7.5/10
GREAT match. The best in 3PW history, so far. Fittingly, I believe that this match contains the first ever “3PW!” chant (just one guy, but it was still a chant). Up to this point, they had only had ECW chants. Props to that lone fan for realizing that ECW is dead and that they should be chanting for 3PW instead.

WET T-SHIRT CONTEST SEGMENT- DUD! The contest is hosted by Ron Jeremy, judged by Tod Gordon, and consists of Jasmin St Claire, two strippers, the Blue Meanie, and some chick named Angel who is apparently an actual wrestler. Angel grabs a mic and says that if it were up to her, she would wrestling, rather than competing in this degrading contest. Of course, this earns her a chokeslam from Annihilation, who then holds her up so Jasmin can dump water on her t-shirt. Then the girls had people in the front rows pour water on their jugs. Jasmin is judged to be the winner, and a horrendous catfight ensues. This was a monstrous waste of fifteen minutes (on a show that is less than two hours long!). You can see much hotter chicks in pornos, better catfights in almost any other wrestling promotion, any mediocre comedian can do better stand-up than Ron Jeremy’s pathetic attempts here, and just about anyone who does the move gives better chokelsams than Annihilation.

3PW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT SEMIFINAL MATCH: “Pitbull” Gary Wolfe vs. Danny Doring- 3.5/10
A six minute match, and the first four were lame comedy.

3PW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT SEMIFINAL MATCH: Rocco Rock vs. Christian York-4/10

3PW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT FINALS: Christian York vs. “Pitbull” Gary Wolfe- 5.5/10
Apparently Pitbull jumped York in the back to start this match. That’s right. The babyface jumped the heel. Anyway, this was a decent little brawl, but nowhere near what a match to crown the first champion of your top title should be.

KEVIN SULLIVAN vs. DUSTY RHODES vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW- 4/10
Not even close to being good enough for a main event. They brawl a bit, until Dusty hits Sullivan with a bionic elbow, causing Sully falls on top of Bam Bam for the pin, while Dusty stands there and does nothing at all to break it up. Then Dusty randomly hits some elbows.

Yet another bad show from 3PW. One of the major failings of this show was structuring of the card. There is absolutely no reason why the title match was not the main event. Not only was this show mostly a tournament for that title, but by having the crowning of your first champ go on before three guys who have never appeared in your promotion before and most of whom are old, you are saying that their random is more important than your title. Actually, come to think of it, three former ECW guys (not that Dusty or even Sully are really ECW guys the same way that Sandman, Douglas, Dreamer, Raven, Sabu, etc. are) in a completely random match going on after the world title is a great metaphor for 3PW as a whole at this point. Bam (yes I realize that Bam Bam’s promo made it seem like New Jack no-showed, but even so, the title match should have gone on last. If New Jack misses his spot on the show, it sucks to be him).