Intro
The year was 2006, and my fandom in pro wrestling had started to wain. I was one of those John Cena haters, but not for the reason you might think. While I totally dug his person, and even his in-ring stuff, ever since he'd been drafted to Raw, it felt like it was the same old same old. Every new, interesting character was trounced by Cena, if they weren't trounced by some other mainstay before then. Whereas in 2003/2004 it felt like things were changing and evolving all the time, 2005 into 2006 was just a creative flatline.Then, something came along. ECW came along. Injecting characters I'd only heard about via the ECW video games into the mix, and remixing some old characters that had gotten stale (Kurt Angle, Big Show) was exactly the kind of thing that appealed to young me, I was 100 percent behind the ECW revival.
This is definitely an era that I've wanted to look at with a more refined eye. Conventional wisdom tells us that WWECW didn't succeed, but were there some diamonds in the rough to be found? Let's see!
Cold open promo with Paul Heyman: Good delivery, bad. content The good thing though is that cold opening this show to a bunch of rabid fans chanting 'ECW' was absolutely the right choice. Out comes Paul to the original ECW theme. He cuts a promo about how ECW will rise again, and it's because of you, and hooray TV yada yada yada. But on the Sci-Fi channel of all places? This should've raised a red flag, but the fans pop. He also takes a pop at Vince McMahon to which the fans boo. This makes the fans look as dumb as modern fans who shit on a Raw and then cheer when Vince comes out.
Opening video package: We get the old ECW TV open with the old theme, and then we get "Bodies" by Drowning Pool, which was the Invasion theme for them, which again, should've been a red flag. At least Paul is the VO guy
Jerry Lawler vs Tazz
Jerry harasses commentator Joey Styles during his entrance, shoving him down after some barbs. Joey gets physically involved, which allows Tazz to lock in the Tazz-mission for a sub-30 second tap out. If you're going to have a goofy segment like this, it might as well be in the opener. Plus Joey getting physically involved gives this segment a special air that still holds true 10 years later.No rating, fun segment
Tazz celebrates long enough for Joey to get situated and throw to..
"WWE vs ECW Head-to-Head" recap: : Unnecessary. Focuses on Big Show's defection and the Extreme Rules match between John Cena and Sabu that went to a no contest If this is meant to be an ECW show, can we at least treat the fans like they've seen everything? Or let Joey Styles deliver the exposition by himself?
"The Legend Killer" Randy Orton vs Kurt Angle[
Orton's entrance is perfection. The ECW faithful flip him off as he gets into the ring, at which point he gets his golden pyro which cannot possibly be up to code in the Hammerstein Ball Room. In contrast Kurt Angle is given a new theme that edits out the "You Suck" part of his entrance, has new gear, and a mouthguard that has ECW tape on it. This match is happening because Orton got his ankle broken after Mania and Randy attacked Kurt.The story initially is that Angle has adapted his style to be more like amateur wrestling, and takes Orton to school. He gets a headlock in, but spends most of his time bailing out. Even when Angle gives Orton holds, he dominates. Angle misses a shoulder charge in the corner in which Randy fires back with clubs and stomps....only for Angle to get a big take down. Orton manages to work the back with a hard whip and stomps.. Orton gets a chin lock in but Angle counters back. It takes biting and a cheap elbow to break Angle. Angle gets paraded around the ring in a sleeper hold, which causes the crowd to boo harder than they had been before. They tease some of Angle's signature throws, but Randy fights out, only to get German Suplexed. More suplexes. Angleslam gets countered and Angle gets a terrifying head of steam to be hit with a dropkick, that warrants a two count. Backdrop out of a Sleeper Hold that looks more like a Backdrop Driver. Tease at an Ankle Lock, but more offense by Orton. RKO gets countered. More counters upon counters and momentum swings. Angle finally locks in the Ankle Lock and Orton taps
This was like an ROH squash, but it was the PERFECT way to showcase the new Kurt Angle
7.5/10
Post match: Randy demands two refs help him to the back and he gets heckled by the fans. This was a fun touch
The FBI (Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke w/ Big Guido) vs Tajiri and Super Crazy
This is Tajiri's first match in the US since his departure from WWE six months earlier. The crowd is very happy to see him. Tajiri arbitrarily breaks up an armlock on Super Crazy, this pops the crowd. The first half is very much a spotfest designed to put Crazy and Tajiri over. It occurred to me that Tajiri is wearing his HUSTLE/AJPW pants, The FBI take momentum with Big Guido hitting big stiff basic shit. Psychology is abandoned partially because the people want to see Tajiri throw stiff kicks, and that's what they're getting so that's okay. More spots, but the FBI hit a wacky Double Musclebuster and pin Tajiri because they're going to be with the brand going forward....but they pin the guy who's on the next plane to Japan, so nothing was accomplished.
4.5/10
Post match: Effective....but I didn't like it. Big Show comes out and destroys everyone, getting his new sick looking Cobra Clutch Backbreaker/ rag doll throw in on Mamaluke. But, if you think of all the memorable debuts in history, it's because the debuting wrestler went after a top guy. Big Show went after the small spotfest guys.
The commentators talk to the camera: but get interrupted: Amazing Joey and Tazz hype up the World Title match. The crowd is chanting "Fuck you Smackdown" and I thought that maybe they were shown a bumper during the replay or something. But a mysterious voice interrupts, the unmistakable voice of JBL! JBL responds to a "You suck dick" chant with the immortal line, "I see no women here, and you're chanting about a male organ, now tell me who's the fruit booty?" He also brings up kicking the shit out of Blue Meanie last year. JBL goes on a rant about being a bully and facing no consequences, which feels extra gross after the Mauro thing in 2016. JBL ends his tirade by calling the ECW fans geeks (NWK pop) and saying he will be color on Smackdown, which begins an AMAZING run.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Extreme Rules
Rey Mysterio (c) vs Sabu
Rey Mysterio (c) vs Sabu
I question the wisdom of JBL getting mic time to heel out on the crowd before the one match where the WWE guy might get cheered, but anyway. Rey gets mild boos, which says to me that only the most hardcore of nerds are upset about it. The commentators shit on Rey as well, but he has the most sensible approach in all this, having loved ECW but being happy on Smackdown.
They have chairs to start but just abandon them and start doing exchanges. NOW we get a chair duel, and now that the one spot is over we go back to exchanges. They're motoring through hardcore spots now. Sabu takes his own bump to the guard rail mid Triple Jump when Rey moves off a table. This match is an unhealthy marriage of Rey's slow, lumbering WWE brawling and setting up super contrived spots so Sabu can get his one spot in. I remember the finishing spot being much more intense than Rey's seated senton through a table. Wait what? This wasn't the finish? The guys do more moves, and THIS is the finish I remember, a sick DDT through the table, and this match ends in a draw
This wasn't a dud, but like....why was this here? This was the worst kind of spot fest imaginable, where the two guys involved have two tricks they can do (chairs, standing table spots), and they just recycle them until the bullshit finish. Also The Big Show causing a draw here would've been more effective
2/10
Posr match: Rey is stretchered out while Sabu limps away on his own, refusing a stretcher. At least they found away to have Sabu lose and still look strong.
Dreamer/Funk vs Edge/Foley video package: BRILLIANT Edge and Foley become friends based on mutual admiration and become co-holders of the hardcore belt. Foley puts over Dreamer and Funk, but says that they didn't have what it took to apply their style on the main stage. Having what it takes also means doing things you don't want to do. He's completely right. Paul demands the two put their hardcore legacies on the line against Dreamer and Foley.
Mick Foley, Edge, and Lita promo: He must've recently learned about trolling shortly before this show, because that's what this was, a trolling promo. Edge then gets the mic and talks about the ECW fans having imaginary girlfriends and then jerking off to his actual girlfriend, and Lita and Edge play tonsil hockey after. Ewww. Lita cuts the most coherent promo of all.
Beulah promo: She insults Lita with some great lines, and so we get
Intergender Extreme Rules Match
Edge, Mick Foley, and Lita vs Terry Funk, Tommy Dreamer, and Beulah
Edge, Mick Foley, and Lita vs Terry Funk, Tommy Dreamer, and Beulah
Lock ups and chain wrestling between Edge and Dreamer to start this blood feud. Mick demands Terry and he gets him This breaks down into a brawl between the men while the women just stand around, Terry is completely out of control, and I love that about him. Edge javelins Tommy with a ladder out of nowhere. We get the ladder spin spot which isn't very effective when two people are bumping for it. Terry Funk climbs up the ladder and gets dumped off it. Tommy gets punched in the dick by Lita but Beulah doesn't interfere for some reason. Barbed wire plywood spots look gruesome. They make like Terry gets his eye sliced out at one point, which is entirely too gruesome and upsetting for this show. They cart Terry out leaving Tommy alone. Beulah just kinda watches Tommy get a legdrop barbed wire bat to the nutsack. Dreamer gets disposed of and Beulah gets grabbed, causing Terry to make a big comeback. Now the women get involved running around the ring. FLAMING BARBED WIRE BAT. FOLEY IS ON FUCKING FIRE! WHAT THE FUCK, and goes through the plywood. We finally get the catfight we should've been getting in some degree all match. We get a Dreamer Family hope spot Edge takes out Dreamer, spears Beulah, and pins her doggie style.
This was actually kind of upsetting. Too gruesome and deathmatchy for me, and they made no attempt to hide the fact that they didn't want the women working, and it ends on a terribly lewd finish. Funk and Foley's performances lifted this match up higher than it had any right to be.
6.5/10
Post match: As if this couldn't get any sadder we have to watch a bloody, one eyed Terry Funk get cut from the plywood with wire cutters.
John Cena and RVD warm up: I like the contrast of John Cena being bathed in light posing thoughtfully with his title while RVD shadow boxes in what appears to be a secret tunnel.
Balls Mahoney vs Masato Tanaka
This is your feel good hardcore brawl between two good friends. Balls won decisively with a chair shot. Nothing more to report.
5/10
RVD vs John Cena video package: this package was 70-30 RVD-Cena with a ridiculous amount of it being old ECW footage , which tells you all you need to know about who's winning
Eugene promo: Because we needed this. He gets eliminated by The Sandman. We couldn't think of a better use for Sandman guys?
WWE Championship: Extreme Rules
John Cena vs Rob Van Dam
John Cena vs Rob Van Dam
The contrast in crowd reaction and the Cena t-shirt spot and the stalling was probably mind blowing in 2006, but here it just strikes me as annoying. Cena tries, and he tries really hard, but he's too green at this point to do anything outside of his wheelhouse still and just gets exposed. They have a brief, fun crowd brawl with the most organic set up to RVD's guardrail leg drop I've ever seen.. This is the most lethal RVD's offense has looked in his WWE Umbrella career. When Cena gets counters you get the feeling it's because Cena researched RVD. There's also a lot of moves executed by both men and sold in ways that they only could be if RVD was there. The finish comes when Edge interferes and RVD capitalizes. The crowd cheer Edge despite him beating up Terry Funk and violating Beulah earlier. Paul Heyman makes the count for the win. The entire ECW locker room comes out to celebrate.
I loved this match, and I would point to it as one of Cena's early great performances. Unfortunately, RVD didn't win clean, so all this does is add a wrinkle to the Cena/Edge feud.
8.75/10
Conclusion
This is a show that rested entirely on Kurt Angle and RVD's showings. But I'd still call this a bad show. This was a show full of red flags. Barely a satisfying babyface finish in sight, a show that had a lot of WWE bullcrap festering underneath it, and yet the reactions were good, only hostile when the show needed them to be for effect. Oh how times have changed.
