BRM Reviews the 11/13/1995 Nitro

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 11/13/1995 Nitro

Post by Big Red Machine » Nov 11th, '14, 08:41

As the show opens, Bischoff declares last week's show as a night that will go down in history! Why? Because on that show, we learned that history would be made at World War 3.

Mongo's dog, Pepe, had a "super dog" outfit on. Mongo explained to us that this was because we were seeing "superhuman wrestlers" in the ring tonight. Mongo is simultaneously terrible and fantastic.

HULK HOGAN VIDEO- again.. WHAT THE F*CK?!
Hogan is dressed in black robes, with a black Zorro mask covering the top half of his face,and goofy black lines drawn on the bottom half of his face, saying that the Dungeon of Doom is afraid because of the darkness inside of him, and his training and prayers and vitamins. Then he took out this giant broadsword and declared that Randy Savage would bring him Meng's head on a silver platter.
Hogan then declared "I feel a strange presence," and that he needed to find out which side Sting was on. To do this, he said he would look at Sting "somewhere in the eye." He also talked about having a "hit list," so apparently Meng is not the only one that Hogan and Savage are planning on murdering.

"MACHO MAN" RANDY SAVAGE vs. MENG (w/Kevin Sullivan & Jimmy Hart)- 4/10
Macho Man was billed as being from "the dark side of Venice Beach, California."
Macho Man came through the crowd and jumped Meng from behind.

Meng worked over Savage's ribs, but Savage won. Then he got attacked by The Shark, prompting Bobby Heenan to shout "SHARK ATTACK! SHARK ATTACK!," making me wonder how no announcer had ever thought of this before. Luger also came out, and despite Macho's previously injured ribs (which were injured by Luger when he turned at Halloween Havoc), they decided to go after Luger's arm

KENSUKE SASAKI vs. CHRIS BENOIT- 2/10
WAY too short. Bischoff informed us that Sasaki would be challenging Sting for a the US Title later this week in Tokyo. About thirty seconds later, Sasaki was pinned clean in the middle of the ring by Chris Benoit. That seems a bit backwards, though apparently it was done to set up Benoit getting a title shot at Sasaki at World War 3 (Sasaki would beat Sting to win the title in Tokyo).
Bischoff described Benoit was being "all the way from Canada" as if Canada was some foreign land. Never once was an equal description given the Japanese man across the ring from him.
Wait... WHAT?! Bischoff just casually threw out the fact that Benoit was now a member of the Four Horsemen. When did this happen?

BISCHOFF HYPES UP WCW SATURDAY NIGHT- not only will we be getting Benoit vs. Guerrero, but we will also be seeing Sting take on Bunkhouse Buck. Yes. Bunkhouse Buck. In 1995.

WCW TV TITLE MATCH: Johnny B. Badd(c) vs. Eddie Guerrero- 6.5/10
They showed a graphic for this match before the previous commercial for this match, but in no way did it mention that the title was on the line. That should have been hyped up.
This was a good hold-for-hold wrestling match that broke down into a brawl. They still kept shoving each other after the bell. This made me want to see a rematch. You see how simple that was, bookers of today?

Bischoff announced Hulk Hogan vs. Sting for next week's Nitro. This would be a FIRST TIME EVER MATCH, which probably could have drawn a boatload of money on PPV. But who needs that?

MEAN GENE INTERVIEWS THE DUNGEON OF DOOM- Sullivan says he has spent ten years lying awake at night trying to figure out a way to end Hulkamania. Heheheh. That's probably pretty close to true. Sullivan then hyped up World War 3. Giant said he would end Hulkamania forever and be the WCW World Heavyweight Champion forever.

DEAN MALENKO vs. STING- 5/10
They only went five minutes of TV time, but based on some clips we saw of stuff during the commercial, I'll give them a bit of extra credit. The story was that Sting was too big and powerful for Malenko, so he had to rely on technique instead, and he worked over Sting's knee. Sting won when he countered an attempted submission into a small package.

MEAN GENE INTERVIEWS STING- okay.

A pretty good episode of Nitro.


STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. The announcers debated whether Meng was human or an "animal."
Racism. NOT COOL! Samoans have REALLY gotten it up the ass far more than any other people have in terms of racist gimmicks... and that is really terrible when you consider the fact that I cannot remember a single kayfabe Arab who was not a sheik or a terrorist, and can only think of one kayfabe German who wasn't portrayed as a Nazi.
I think a lot of the reason that Samoa Joe has appealed to wrestling fans over the years is that he isn't a stereotype of a "Samoan savage," and I know that this is something that Joe is very proud of. I think the Usos have been the first to manage to take it a step further and create a positive image of Samoan culture within wrestling, so props to them for that.

2. Mongo described Meng as being "a couple of brain cells shy of a dead amoeba." Yes. "a couple," as in "more than one" brain cell shy of the average (dead) "SINGLE-CELLED ORGANISM. As I said above, this man is simultaneously terrible and fantastic.

3. Mongo called Eddie Guerrero a sore loser. Eddie's match went to a draw.

4. When we came back from a commercial break, Bsichoff showed us a replay in which he hyped up "the power of Sting vs. the speed of Dean Malenko." Unfortunately for Bischoff, the replay was of Malenko charging at Sting in the corner, but Sting moving quickly to avoid it.


Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
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FIP in 2005
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ECW Guilty As Charged 1999

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