Going into The Clash: My thoughts
Let me start by saying how happy I am that the Clashes are on WWE Network. Now, as some of you may know, I like to sometimes shitty-sounding PPVs. The Main Event, then, sounds like a conundrum. Ric Flair, obviously one of the best wrestlers of all time, versus....my least favorite wrestler of all time, the Junkyard Dog. I can't wait to rip this match apart, but I hope I don't have to. Other than that, we have things like Doom vs The Stieners, Arn vs Orndorff, and the RnR Express vs The Midnight Express. This should be good, right?Oh dear, this is brought to us by Robcop II, hopefully this isn't an omen
Two dudes (who the announcer had to identify for me as Tracey Smothers and Steve Armstrong) ask the Freebirds if they thought the Civil War was bad, their match "The Battle of the South" would be much worse
Smothers and Armstrong are billed from "The Heartland of the South" and called the "Wild Eye Southern Boys" so they're essentially the Freebirds but 1/3rd as entertaining. The Freebirds make their entrance to the Badstreet USA music video and song.
The Freebirds vs The Southern Boys
-There's a cool spot where The Freebirds attempt to whip the Southern Boys into each other, they dose-doe and hit duel forearms on the Freebirds, this happens within the first ten seconds of the match.-Oh, so the Freebirrds are the heels. How you could ever boo them are beyond me
-Armstrong breaks up a pin he's in be kneeing Hayes in the head, why we don't see aggressive kickouts like that today is a good question
-Oooh Springboard knee to the face by Tracey
-Jesus, Smothers lands on his head from a clothesline
-Armstrong breaks up a pin with a flying headbutt and putting ASmothers on top of Garvin
7/10
"Wildfire" Tommy Rich vs Bam Bam Bigelow w/Oliver Humperdink
-Bam Bam Bigelow doesn't get enough credit for his punch and facial selling-A lot of offense by Rich
-Bigelow chokes the shit out of Rich and he gets DQed
-Biglow yells, "I'LL KILL EVERYBODY" and bangs his head on the turnbuckle after Oliver Humperdink peels Bigelow away from Rich
5.5/10
The tease the debut of Big Van Vader at the Great American Bash, with New Japan home video, I'm gonna have to watch GAB '90 to my watch list.
Gary Capetta, who's fluent in Spanish, interviews El Gigante, ok promo
Captain Mike and the Z-Man vs The Samoan Swat Team
-The Swat Team tries three times to do some tribal thing, but the crowd boos them.-Some stiff ass Samoan shit .
- Babyface in peril with Rotunda
-Z-Man comes in and does some stuff but gets cut off.
- Rotunda gets the possum pin win, despite Rotunda not being the legal man.
4.5/10
Flyn Bryan vs Mean Mark w/Paul E Dangerouslt
-Seeing Young Undertaker's a little freaky, even moreso being managed by the guy who'd break the streak.- Brian gets distracted by Dangerously and Mean Mark gets the advantage,
- Brian slams Mark's head into the turnbuckle a bunch but one elbow takes Pillman down
- Brian goes for the Crucifix but gets rammed into the turnbuckle by Mean Mark
-Babyface comeback cut off hooray
-Even here, Mark had some truly terrifying facials
- Paul E eats a dropkick at one point and the crowd loses it
-Not often you see a match one with with a rope grapevine
7.5/10. If you ever want to know how to do a good David vs Goliath style match, look this up.
Sting interview, apparently Sting is stalking the Hoursemen, what was the point of that?
Rock n' Roll Express promo, very basic but good
Midnight Express promo, Cornette says that they've beaten everyone, but to prove that they are the best they have to beat the Rock n' Roll express.
It's also somewhat humorous that the Midnight Express' entrance theme is a "Funkytown" remix
Rock n' Roll Express vs the Midnight Express w/Jim Cornette for the US Tag Title
Apparently Morton's parents were both deaf? CoolGreat match!
8.5/10
Doug Furnas vs Barry Windham
-Windham sells the shit out of Furnas- Furnas is the World's Strongest Man, but he's really mobile
-Furnas hits a stiff ass looking clothesline on Windham
6/10
Lex Luger vs Sid Vicious w/ Ole Anderson
Luger gets the win after literally one clothesline.5/10 yes that's a .5
The Stiener Bros vs Doom w/ Theodore Long for the Tag Team Championship
- Holy shit, Scott did like a flipping Fall Away Slam-Lot of great heel shit with Doom
- - Speaking of, foreign abject spot with Butch Reed
-There's a complicated double pin spot and Doom retains
6.5/10
JYD cuts a promo, that's enough said
Arn Anderson vs Paul Orndorff
8/10 just a great matchRic Flair cuts a promo, putting over the Hoursemen and now for our main event
Ric Flair vs Junkyard Dog
Meh....4/10
Big Brawl between Horsemen and Sting/Luger/Wonderful/Dog
Sting says he wants a world title match at the Bash, with no interferences, another Horsemen interference, Sting no sells Flair's chops, and Flair begs for mercy as the credits role. GREAT SHOW