We get a video package plugging the Black Hills of South Dakota (which, if you haven't been there, plan a trip there, seriously, beautiful country) A brief history bio of Sturgis.
And we get the sound of a motorcycle reving with piano that sounds like it belongs in a documentary. And we pan to Bobby Heenan/Dusty Rhodes/Tony Schavone dressed as what I can only describe as gay bikers.
- The mask was taken off by the medical team, so they're wondering if Rey can actually do this after being attacked.
-Bobby Heenan's lucha commentary is attrocious "Hue hue these guys are ugly"
- "USA" Chant, which actually causes Dragon to glance confusedly at the crowd.
- At one point Rey does a springboard out of the ring, off the platform, onto the dirt
8.5/10, fantastic opener
Gene Oakerlund plugs the WCW Hotline in the most 90s denim jacket ever.
-Scott wins by synching an armbar in on the injured arm.
6/10 for a surprising finish.
Ric Flair does an interview about various subjects, the attack on Arn Anderson, and WCW vs NWO, very good, very serious.
They cut to a merch promo entirely about Hog Wild, one of things advertised is a Hog Wild Denim Jacket, I legitimately laughed out loud. I should also mention that with shipping and handling, the jacket costs about 100 dollars.
-How is Dusty Rhodes shouting "SHE GOT A NUNCHUCK, A NUNCHUCK" not hailed as one of the best Dusty quips ever?
-Medusa does some of the sickest selling for Nanako I've ever seen, but twisting her body in the air as Nanako throws her by the hair.
-Apparently someone's bike is going to get messed up with a sledgehammer of they lose.
-There's a mistaken 3 count, Sonny Ono goes for Sunny's bike, hits the sledgehammer, and the bell rings, Medusa destroys Nanako's bike. It turns out that Nanako had her shoulders down on the backdrop, but Medusa got them up at 2.
7/10, special props to the commentary team for actually clarifying the finish.
We cut to the Stieners using laptops to chat on WCW.com, complete with Rick rocking from side to side while making vrooming noises, and pressing random buttons. When Scott is the most sensical in any given situation you probably need to re-evaluate your choices.
-Miss Elizabeth is in all leather and oh sweet Jesus
--They wrestle the entirety of their match to a draw, but for some reason they get 5 mins overtime, they go to a draw on THAT, get ANOTHER overtime, and it takes woman distracting Dean and a rollup for the win.
9/10, great match that got time.
7/10 would've been a 7.5 or 8 if not for the finish, because I hate powder
HOMOEROTIC VIDEO OF THE WCW ROSTER RIDING BIKES TO PUBLIC DOMAIN ROCK
- Ric Flair calls himself "1200 CCs" amazing
-If Dusty calls Woman "devilish" one more time.....
-The lighting changes mid-match to acommodate the lack of sun, which is super off putting.
-Eddie pulls down Ric Flair's tights and shows his ass crack, biggest pop of the night.
-Eddie hits Frog Splash, but messes up his knee, Ric wins when Woman hols onto him in the figure four, and wins by pinfall.
Jimmy Hart and Giant promo
Gene insinuates that the sun is setting on WCW, Jimmy warns Hogan not to mess up because no one will be able to help him.
Giant says that he was a Hulk fan, but felt betrayed, and essentially rhreatens to kill Hogan.
- Sting has Nash down in the Deathlock, outside the ring, Luger has Hall in the torture rack, but a blinded Nick Patrick bumps Luger, Hall falls on top, and gets a fast count from Patrick, starting the corrupt referee angle, great 8.5/10 would've actually been an 8 if not for the finish.
- I hate that Giant is from Parts Unknown, it's not like he's got a crazy gimmick they could figure out where he's from.
-Hogan's doing cowardly heel stuff, and I'm assuming this is the first match he's actually worked as a heel, because the announcers are selling this like this is the first time Hogan has ever been cowardly.
-Giant hulks up and the crowd goes apeshit
-Giant fights off Hall and Nash but gets a title belt of the face and Hogan's the new champ.
There's a segment where The Bootyman comes out to join the NWO, but he says Flair has a soft spot for Anderson, so to show he doesn't have that soft spot, he attacks Bootyman, spray paints the belt, and walks out.