BRM Reviews ECW Enter Sandman

[Big Red Machine]

ECW Enter Sandman (5/13/1995)- Philadelphia, PA


TONY STETSON vs. HACK MYERS- 4/10
There was one spot in here that I absolutely loved where Stetson, being an asshole, grabbed Hack by his giant mutton chops, so Hack just kicked him in the balls. “You want to fight dirty? Okay. I can do that.”

TSUBO GENJIN & HIROYOSHI IEKUDA vs. 911 & THE TAZMANIAC (w/Paul E. Dangerously)-
Who do you think won this match?
One of the Japanese guys (I don’t know who is who and Joey never told us) was wearing what appeared to be one of Taz’s singlets, and, based on his face paint, might have been a member of the Insane Clown Posse.
This was an awesome squash. Taz suplexing both guys at once got a huge pop and 911 giving them simultaneous chokeslams got an even bigger pop.

JOEY STYLES INTERVIEWS AXL ROTTEN- Joey says that they are now starting this week’s TV show. Okay… why not do this segment at the very beginning of the show to make it seem less awkward. Axl Rotten comes out and informed us that some people have been saying that the ECW fans in Florida are better than the ECW fans in Philly. The crowd did not like that one bit. Apparently we are supposed to have Axl vs. Ian to start off the show, but Axl tells us that the match will be “a little too violent for TV.” He then says that the Ian vs. Axl match will not be on TV “because the people of Florida can suck my ass.” I’m not quite sure how he got from point A to point B there.
Axl then declares that “the people of Florida can’t handle my barbed-wire bat” (an actual bat he was holding, not a euphemism for his penis), calls the people of Florida homosexuals, and shouts “F*ck you, Florida!” Where is all of this hatred coming from? And this seems like a really random target, too. Did he just catch his wife cheating on him with a Floridian or something?

BARBED-WIRE BASEBALL BAT MATCH: Axl Rotten vs. Ian Rotten- 4.5/10
So they did this spot where Axl was hitting Ian with the bat. Then he put the bat down and tossed Ian over the guardrail… just for the sake of picking the bat and hitting Ian with it over there. What was wrong with where they were standing?
Anyway, they hit each other with the barbed-wire bat and rake it against each other’s skin etc. until they do a good finish.

SHANE DOUGLAS PROMO- Raven and Stevie come out for their match, but Shane Douglas runs out and grabs the mic from the ring announcer. He says that the reason he walked out at the last show (wearing a Monday Night Raw t-shirt, no less) was because he was disgusted that the fans thought that chairs and tables were more important than wrestling. He says that he called the state athletic commission, and they have sent over a trouble shooting referee by the name of Mr. Bill Alfonso.
So Fonzie comes out and vows to enforce the rules. Tod Gordon comes out and gets in Fonzie’s face, telling him that he isn’t an official ECW referee so he has no say. Fonzie tells Tod that the state athletic commission has given him the power to shut ECW down if they don’t follow the rules. This was a great segment, though I’m not sure why this did this after Raven and Stevie made their entrance, rather than before it. They just stood in the background while all of this was going on, not doing anything at all.

TOMMY DREAMER & MICKEY WHIPWRECK vs. STEVIE RICHARDS & RAVEN (w/Beulah McGillicutty)- 6.5/10
This was pretty short, but it told its story perfectly. Great babyface in peril stuff from Mikey, who took some awesome-looking bumps here for Raven. Tommy wanted to get at Raven, but Fonzie kept stopping him via enforcing various rules, and they built it up and built it up until finally Tommy and Raven are the two legal men and they start brawling and Tommy starts walloping Raven with haymakers… and then Fonzie disqualifies him for using a closed fist. That is some f*cking AWESOME heel stuff right there.
Dreamer wants to kick Fonzie’s ass, but referees come out and hold him back because if Tommy attacks Fonzie, Fonzie will shut ECW down. Shane Douglas comes out to taunt Tommy about this. Then Cactus Jack comes out and tells Shane that everyone is sick of him and Fonzie. Shane and Cactus start yelling and shoving each other and even more people come out to separate them.

ECW TV TITLE MATCH: Eddie Guerrero(c) vs. Dean Malenko-no rating.
Unfortunately, this was clipped. We only saw about eleven minutes of what was apparently a thirty minute draw. The action we saw was good, but I was extremely disappointed because it really felt like we missed out on seeing something truly special.

To help him call this match, Joey has asked for a very accomplished amateur wrestler and judoka to join him on commentary. This man’s name: Peter Senerchia. After the match, Joey reveals to us that Peter Senerchia is Taz. This was a major shock. No one who has heard Taz call a match in the past five years would possibly believe that he would be that

ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: The Sandman(c) (w/Woman) vs. Cactus Jack- 6.75/10
A great brawl. At one point Cactus set Sandman up on a table, balanced the table on the ropes and flipped it over, sending Sandman tumbling to the outside on his head! That was one of the scariest bumps I have ever seen. That was Mark Briscoe’s shooting star press at All-Star Extravaganza III scary.
Cactus followed this up by wrapping his arm in barbed-wire and giving Sandman the big elbow drop off the apron. Cactus has the match won, but Shane Douglas comes out and puts Sandman’s foot on the ropes. Cactus climbs the turnbuckle to dive on Shane, but Sandman hits him in the nuts with a Singapore cane and gets the win.

ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: The Sandman(c) (w/Woman) vs. Shane Douglas- 6/10
Sandman turned heel recently by going with heel manager Woman. Earlier tonight, Shane brought in a referee who screwed Tommy Dreamer out of getting his hands on Raven and then tried to encourage Tommy to hit the referee so that the referee would shut the entire promotion down. Just a few minutes ago, these two men screwed babyface Cactus Jack out of winning his first world title. Who the f*ck am I supposed to root for? Heel vs. heel matches are fine, but don’t do them RIGHT AFTER THE TWO HEELS SCREW OVER A POPULAR BABYFACE!
Remember how Sandman took a scary-looking bump on his head on the outside in the last match? Well early on in this one, Shane went to give him a gordbuster onto the top rope, but it didn’t work quite right and Sandman’s head hit canvass at about the same time that his midsection hit the rope.
They wrestle for a bit (including Sandman doing a slingshot senton into the ring that looked like he just crushed Shane) until Sandman gets the win after Cactus interferes and the ref doesn’t notice Douglas’ foot on the ropes… but then Bill Alfonso comes out and orders the match restarted. Yes. The newly-debuted heel referee just came out demanded that the ECW World Heavyweight Title match be restarted because of a f*ck finish...
And yet it worked because I was happy the match was going to continue… until I remembered that Shane just did the same thing to Cactus and there was no restart there! I’ll bet that little turd of a referee is in Shane’s pocket! GRRR!!! I hate those heels!

Then we got something that didn’t work so well. Fonzie commands that the match be restarted. Sandman says “okay” but Shane hides behind Fonzie. Sandman obviously doesn’t have the self control of Tommy Dreamer, and we needed people to restrain Tommy from hitting Fonzie… so Sandman just takes a swing at him with the cane. Knowing that if Foznie got hit, he could shut ECW down, Cactus Jack jumped in front of the weapon. I realize that he saved the whole promotion by sacrificing himself, but it just came off weird. Shane then rolls Sandman up and Fonzie counts the pin.
Fonzie and John Finnegan then argue about whether Sandman or Douglas should be the champ (I guess Finnegan doesn’t stand by Fonzie’s earlier ruling or something). Shane and Cactus start circling each other like they are going to fight, but Dean Malenko jumps Cactus from behind and goes after his injured ankle. Shane just looks on, rather than help his friend. Tommy Dreamer then comes out to save Cactus, but Raven and Stevie come out and hit Tommy with a chair.

DOUBLE DOG COLLAR MATCH FOR THE ECW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: The Public Enemy(c) vs. The Pit Bulls (w/Stevie Richards)- 7.25/10
If the Public Enemy win, they get five minutes alone in the ring with Stevie.
Tod Gordon comes out before the match to make sure that everyone knows that “there are no rules.” I absolutely f*cking HATE this phrase. “No rules,” you say? So does that mean that you don’t have to wear the dog collar if you don’t want to? Then why is it a dog collar match? And how do you win? Do pinfalls not work? Because that’s a rule.
Anyway, they made great use of the gimmick and had an action-packed match with a lot of table spots. All great until the finish, which had both teams get a pinfall at the same time. After some confusion, the ref announces that the babyfaces have won the match… meaning that heels got screwed out of a legitimate victory!
Stevie and Pit Bulls start beating the Public Enemy down. The ref makes the Pit Bulls leave, but Stevie beats the Pit Bulls down during their five minutes with him until TPE make a comeback, mercilessly beating a lone man. They set him up for the Drive-By, but Raven comes out and shoves Rocco off the top rope… so apparently the Pit Bulls are not allowed to help Stevie, but other people are?
Oh. Wait. No. Here come the Pit Bulls. Why did they ever leave, then?
The Pit Bulls hold Rock and Grunge up so Stevie can give them Stevie Kicks… but then a few seconds later, the Public Enemy are right back up and brawling with the Pit Bulls on the outside. Dreamer comes into the ring and hits Stevie from behind with a chair… then drops the chair so that he can have fair fight with his hated enemy.
Stevie gets back up and hits Tommy in the back with the chair… and unlike everyone else, TOMMY ACTUALLY F*CKING SELLS IT LIKE IT REALLY HURTS! Then Raven hits Dreamer with the chair while Beulah comes out to the ring. Tommy eventually makes a comeback, and only once Tommy really has things in hand does Luna Vachon decide to come out and make her ECW debut by giving Stevie a back rake. Beulah just stands there on the apron THE WHOLE F*CKING TIME. Even when Raven and Stevie bail, Beulah just stands there. Luna points at Beulah, and Tommy comes over to her. The last time that Tommy got his hands on Beulah, he gave her a piledriver. She is still wearing a neckbrace as a result of that piledriver. So when Tommy stalks over to her, what does she jump off of the apron and run away? No. That would logical. Instead, she moves about three inches to right, still on the apron. Somehow Tommy manages to catch her and gives this poor girl who is still in a neck brace from the last piledriver he gave her, and gives her a piledriver.
Then Tommy and Luna make out to close the show. Hey. Wait a minute? Isn’t Luna married? Way to be a babyface, there, Tommy. Give a woman in a neck brace a piledriver, then make out with another man’s wife.

An okay show from ECW. I really, really wish that the entire Eddie vs. Dean match had been on this.