BRM Reviews the 7/23/2021 ROH (bad)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 7/23/2021 ROH (bad)

Post by Big Red Machine » Aug 10th, '21, 20:03

BRIAN ZANE INTERVIEWS THE ALLURE AFTER LAST WEEK’S SHOW- fine
They say Quinn should be embarrassed for failing to make it into the title tournament twice.

QUINN MCKAY HOSTS THE SHOW- fine
She acknowledges that she got screwed last week, then runs down the card, including warning us that Danhausen will be on commentary for the second match.

FLIP GORDON PROMO- meh
The real issue, though, is that they have this new male announcer making those same stupid little comments that had gotten me so annoyed at Quinn, so I’m starting to hate this guy as well.

WORLD FAMOUS CB PROMO- This would have been a very good promo if he wasn’t dressed in a get-up that made it impossible to take him seriously.

FLIP GORDON vs. THE WORLD-FAMOUS CB- 6/10
The match was decent and they told a good story with Cheeseburger working the arm… but if Flip Gordon is the guy who is getting an ROH World Title shot on PPV next month, he shouldn’t be giving up 70% of a match to f*cking CHEESEBURGER. I don’t care if he wins clean in the end. It’s still f*cking Cheeseburger, and this guy is supposed to be a contender for the world title!

KEN DIXON AND THE BOUNCERS INVADE THE COMMENTARY BOOTH- good, but…
Beer City Bruiser took Ian’s headset and cut a fine promo saying that their group would win the ROH World Six-Man Tag Team Titles. He and his guys kept poking at Ian and Ian did a great job of sitting their and taking it and being very uncomfortable, while Caprice did an excellent job of standing up for both himself and Ian. He wouldn’t let himself get pushed around, he got up and turned around and got right in their faces, and when Dixon grabbed at Ian’s tie, Caprice shoved his hand away. If you had watched this with the sound off so that you weren’t hearing the PRO WRESTLING PROMO BCB was cutting, you might have thought it was at least partially a shoot (like these guys were supposed to take the headset but not torment Ian, and Caprice was legit angry about it and legitimately sticking up for Ian).
The problem is that I just don’t understand how I am supposed to care about any of this. These guys are never on TV (I had completely forgotten Dixon’s name until BCB said it), Shane Taylor Promotions aren’t on TV very often, either, and on the rare occasion that they defend their titles, they defend them against unworthy scrubs who haven’t done anything to earn a title shot, and the Bouncers/Dixon group are barely above that.

BRIAN ZANE INTERVIEWS FLIP GORDON- bad
Flip says that he has nothing to say until he gets his title shot. Zane once again had a completely unnecessary and extremely annoying little comment at the end. I already hate his guts.

SLEDGE PROMO- bad
He comes across like someone trying to play pro wrestler. He also said “what do you do against a man who runs on electricity? You ground his ass!” Um… what? What’s the connection, there?

PCO PROMO TERRIBLE- This was cartoonish bullsh*t, and the fact that anyone could possibly think it belongs in ROH is completely offensive to me.

PCO vs. SLEDGE- 2/10
Out-hausen was on commentary for this match, and his stupidity is apparently contagious, as Ian credited Dorkhausen’s “evil” for PCO using the tactic of “giving up his own body to destroy” his opponent. You know… because PCO never did crazy sentons to the apron and floor before Dorkhausen came into the picture.
They had a decent brawl until the aforementioned senton spot, at which point PCO did one of his dumb little “malfunctions” instead of following up, allowing Sledge to dump him onto the concrete… but PCO just got right back up. Joe Mandac went to check on PCO but PCO pushed him away. PCO and Sledge went back to fighting, so Mandac tried to break it up instead of just counting them out like he’s supposed to. They both pushed him away, so we got a double DQ. I cannot believe that just a few months ago I said I had regained faith in Delirious’ booking.

BRIAN ZANE INTERVIEWS SLEDGE- Sledge cut a decent promo noting that he had held his own against a former world champion. Being reminded that PCO was the RH World Champion made me sad. Then Zane said his annoying thing for the end of this interview and instead of sad, I was right back to being angry.

DAK DRAPER PROMO- very good

ELI ISOM PROMO- fine

DALTON CASTLE PROMO- fine

ELI ISOM vs. DAK DRAPER vs. DALTON CASTLE (w/the Boys)- 7/10
Isom completely squished Draker on his dive early on. They had a good three-way, with an interesting story where Castle seemed to be acting like he considered himself and Draper a team against Isom. The finish saw Dalon hit Isom with a chair but then help Draper get into the ring and encourage him to get the pin. The Boys hopped up onto the apron and mimicked Draper hitting Isom with his finisher in the background of Draper doing it. Dalton and the Boys left, all happy. Draper was happy, too, and was going to give Isom one of his mocking participation ribbons, but threw the ribbon away and shook Isom’s hand instead. I don’t have faith that this story will wind up being good in the end, but for the moment it has my interest.


This was a bad episode of ROH. It was just so much what needs to not be happening. The Six-Man Tag Titles, the PCO/Dorkhausen bullsh*t, this Sledge guy… and Ken Dixon, while we’re at it. Even Cheeseburger, Milonas, and Beer City Bruiser just plain don’t need to be here. You only have one hour of TV a week. You need to use it to focus on your upper and midcard names and your big stories, not dawdle around on pointless bullsh*t with sub-par wrestlers (and I’m not even saying that all of these guys are bad wrestlers, but they don’t feel like ROH-caliber wrestlers and don’t feel like guys who could grow into being that, either, the way that Isom and Draper do).
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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