BRM Reviews the 2/15/2019 ROH (disappointing)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 2/15/2019 ROH (disappointing)

Post by Big Red Machine » Feb 22nd, '19, 14:02

SIX-MAN MAYHEM MATCH: Luchasaurus vs. Shane Taylor vs. Flip Gordon vs. Chris Sabin vs. Kenny King vs. Rhett Titus- 6.25/10
A fun, chaotic, fast-paced match. At one point Kenny King hit Flip Gordon with a chair, so the referee “ejected” him from the match. EXCELLENT! I’ve been calling for this sort of thing for years whenever people insist that “you can’t have DQs in a multi-man match.” This is the logical solution. Taylor got the pin, so that’s good for him.

THE BOUNCERS vs. MARCUS KROSS & GRIFF GARRISON- no rating, decent semi-squash.
Marcus Kross is a DBZ cosplayer. If you’re trying to be a serious pro wrestler, don’t cosplay. If you’re Leva Bates and making your various cosplay outfits your gimmick it’s one thing, but don’t come out with f*cking Saiyan hair and an orange gi with blue trim.
This was one of those old “ROH squashes” where the squashees are at least allowed to get something in because the booker does actually see something in them and doesn’t want them to come off as total jobbers. Personally I didn’t see much in these two in terms of charisma and would have preferred a straight squash, but at least doing it this way didn’t make the company look terrible when Ian Riccaboni told us that one of them was supposed to be in the Top Prospect Tournament but got injured and that the other was on the radar for it.


ROH WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Briscoes(c) vs. Chuck Taylor & Chuck Cabana- 6.5/10
This was originally supposed to be Briscoes vs. Best Friends but Berretta had a family emergency so Chuck was allowed to pick a replacement and chose his “really good friend” Colt Cabana as a replacement.
The Briscoes won a kind of flat match, pinning Taylor. They beat the babyfaces up after the match and went to put Taylor through a table. Didn’t last week’s show feature the formation of a big babyface unit who wanted to put a stop to things like this?
Yeah. That one. That you’re now cutting to a video package about. Why didn’t LifeBlood come out to save Colt and Chuckie?

CLOSING SEGMENT- horrible!
Jay Lethal comes out to cut a promo in which he complains about “having to watch the company {he} love{s} deteriorate” right in front of him, due to guys like Bully Ray and the Briscoes thinking they can run around and do whatever they want. Well then where the f*ck were you five minutes ago?
He said that “the worst part is that there is a man walking around with a fake belt claiming to be the Ring of Honor World Champion.” Dude… he was walking around with a fake belt claiming to be the real champion FOR MONTHS before you even noticed him. He even attacked you from behind and you didn’t mention it for months! And now you’re here in the ring on verge of tears and want me to believe that this is really that important to you? If it was so f*cking important to you why didn’t you do anything about it for months?
He vows that change will come in 2019. LifeBlood came out to interrupt him… so we know they were in the f*cking building and didn’t even come out to stop The Briscoes from assaulting people. At this point they feel like they’re all talk and no game.
They agree that they share the same belief that SOMETHING MUST BE DONE! Lethal says there are a bunch of other guys in the back who also agree with them. WELL THEN WHY THE F*CK HAVEN’T ANY OF YOU ACTUALLY DONE SOMETHING ABOUT IT YET?!
Lethal thinks they want him to join their group but he doesn’t want to join. Juice tells Lethal they don’t want him to join, and this is supposed to be tension between them, but then they just move past it. Lethal begins to put them all over, including flat-out breaking kayfabe by complementing Tracy Williams (and Jonathan Gresham) for “tearing the house down, but not with weapons and not with funky, fancy storylines.”
Lethal keeps going down the line, putting them over. Juice says that if they want to bring the honor back to Ring of Honor they need to “stop singing it and start bringing it.” How will they do this, you ask? By agreeing to run out to prevent people from using weapons in matches and stopping post-match beat-downs? Of course not. Juice says that Lethal should get the other babyfaces who agree with them and they’ll all fight each other.
Even without those logical issues, this was still a bad segment. It went WAY too long, got extremely boring, and Lethal in particular was intolerable. “Oh look at me. I’m the world champion and therefore I’m so busy and have so much on my plate.” He came off like someone trying to impress you by projecting false importance rather than someone who actually was important.


A very underwhelming episode of ROH, which has left me with very little hope that LifeBlood will be anything but some babyfaces with a catchphrase. They (and Lethal) have a mission statement, but I have no faith in the ability of the booker to book the storylines in such a way that they will attempt to fulfill that mission statement in a manner that is consistent with logic rather than being consistent solely with the needs of the story the booker wants to tell at that moment.


Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
WWE in 2005
FIP in 2005
ROH Validation
PWG All-Star Weekend V: Night 2
ECW Guilty As Charged 1999

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