BRM Reviews the 6/18/2016 ROH (very disappointing)

[Big Red Machine]

Kevin Kelly & Nigel McGuinness are on commentary.

GEDO vs. DALTON CASTLE (w/the Boys)- 3/10
They didn’t do much. Then we got the finish, which was Dalton distracting the referee so that The Boys could interfere in the match by poking Gedo in the eye to allow Dalton to hit his finisher for the win. THAT’S CHEATING! I don’t give a sh*t if Gedo poked The Boys in the eye earlier in the match. This is still Dalton Castle, who is supposed to be a babyface, CHEATING TO WIN.

CORINO-WHITMER VIDEO PACKAGE- ATROCIOUS!
It started with Kevin Kelly’s voice telling us that this all began when Corino was an announcer and Whitmer kept provoking him, knowing that Steve couldn’t fight back. This is 100% false. It started when Corino- as a member of SCUM- earned a commentary position, and would repeatedly say HORRIBLE things about BJ Whitmer, claiming he was a terrible person and a drug addict and many other things. Even after the SCUM angle ended, Corino would still say things like wishing that Whitmer would have a stroke. Then, once Whitmer turned heel by helping to start The Decade and bullying younger talent, Kevin Kelly started to say that maybe Corino has been right the whole time. CORINO was the one who started this feud. That has been well-documented ON ROH TV for THREE YEARS… and yet now, when they want to hype their PPV, they are telling a different story. I absolutely DESPISE it when they change their story like this. This is exactly the sort of bullsh*t that everyone complains about WWE doing and saying that it “insults the fans’ intelligence…” so if you’re ROH, WHY THE F*CK WOULD YOU DO IT?!
They also got their timing WAY off, saying that Colby becoming Whitmer’s “brainwashed” lackey happened AFTER Corino was suspended for punching Whitmer. Not only is this wrong, but it misses one of the more important moments in the feud, which was Whitmer assaulting Colby in front of Steve (not to mention all of Whitmer’s mistreatment of Colby of the entirety of 2015).
Apparently the end-game in the “Whitmer is stalking Corino’s family” thing was Whitmer spying on Steve and his wife at their house while they are sleeping. While it’s still a little silly, at least this came off as threatening. The problem is that the two previous “stalking” videos, taped eighteen months ago and were so non-threatening (and non-illegal, and non-everything else they should be) that no one gives a sh*t about those videos anymore.
Also, for some reason this is an “unsanctioned” Fight Without Honor even though Nigel McGuinness announced it on ROH TV and ROH is promoting it. I get that the definition of “unsanctioned” they are trying to go for is “both parties have absolved ROH of all responsibility for what happens” but I always found that silly. It worked in a case like Steen vs. Generico because the idea was that ROH didn’t want to sanction it because they were afraid that crazy-man Kevin Steen could injure a fan. I don’t see that happening in this case because these guys aren’t crazy: they just hate each other. I know it’s a nit-pick, but I hate it when promotions do something to try to make a match sound more extreme than it is when the application of that word to the case in question only causes confusion.

ADAM COLE PROMO- he says he won’t interfere in the main event of the PPV, but pretty much guarantees that he will beat people up afterwards. Why not instead have him cut a promo hyping up his PPV match so maybe at least a few people will be surprised when he attacks people after the main event?

LETHAL VS. BRISCOE VIDEO PACKAGE- this just doesn’t feel like a big enough main event for an ROH PPV- especially with no strong semi-main and especially for the 2nd biggest show of the year.

TOMOHIRO ISHII vs. WILL FERRARA- 3.75/10
A boring match during the commentators put over Ferrara’s toughness for kicking out of such maneuvers as the body slam and the clothesline a mere five minutes into a wrestling match. This was two guys trying to have a big-man match not realizing that neither of them is taller than 5’9 and weighs no more than 220 lbs. Now, to his credit, Ishii can usually pull this off by having a hard-hitting match, but against a guy whose own lack of height only serves to highlight Ishii’s (Ferrara has two inches on Ishii and we usually think of Ferrara as short and small, even for ROH) and who isn’t known for his hard strikes or his toughness or… well, to be frank, ANYTHING it just makes Ishii come off like he’s not that big a deal.

BRISCOES PROMO- everything I hate about Briscoes promos. Mark speaks in a voice that is so obnoxiously fake (especially if you’ve heard pre-Sinclair Mark Briscoe) that it makes it sound like he is someone trying to say goofy things for TV, while Jay was less coherent than usual. I’m pretty sure he said that if Tama Tonga and Tango Loa were going to call themselves the “Guerrillas of Destiny” than the we should call him and Mark the “Monkeys of Destiny” (possibly appropriate for Mark, I will admit) and that they were going to eat their opponents faces off. NOT a good promo. Rambling is bad.

STEVE CORINO PROMO- really awesome, although it seems to indicate that Corino should wind up being a heel after this, except that they probably won’t do that.

JAY LETHAL PROMO- fine

RODERICK STRONG PROMO- not good. He said that when Bullet Club attacked ROH, it was an affront to Mr. ROH. Well if that’s true than why didn’t Roddy try to stop them?

BULLET CLUB (Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson, & Guerrillas of Destiny) vs. THE BRISCOES, RODERICK STRONG, & JAY LETHAL (w/Taeler Hendrix)- 6.5/10
There was no explanation for why Kenny Omega was out here instead of Nick Jackson. They just said “Oh. Kenny Omega is wrestling. What a nice surprise.”
A very disappointing main event. It only went thirteen minutes- LESS THAN TEN of those on the air-, and there was nothing whatsoever between either Briscoe and his PPV opponent, making the prejas increibles aspect that the match had been hyped up on a complete and total bust. In fact, the finish actually involved Lethal SAVING Jay Briscoe from a double-superkick. After the match Mark Briscoe was offended because Roddy didn’t want to give him a high five or something stupid and childish like that. The only match this all made me want to see is Lethal vs. Omega, but I doubt I’ll be getting that any time soon.

BEST IN THE WORLD PROMOS…
Fish & Castle- fine
Mark & Roddy- Roddy was fine, Mark was bad.
MCMG & the Addiction- decent
Lethal & Briscoe- Lethal was decent. Jay Briscoe claimed that “the last two times I challenged for the Ring of Honor World Championship, I won.” That is extremely untrue. He won his last challenge, yes, but between that and his previous victory he lost THREE extremely high-profile title shots (the main events of Field of Honor, Supercard of Honor VIII, and Final Battle 2013).
He then went on to say that the reason he didn’t ask for his rematch for the world title sooner was that he was being nice to Lethal and letting him make extra money by being champion, but now Briscoe is going to send Lethal “back to ramen noodles.” “I totally could have beaten you any time I wanted but I decided to be nice and not challenge.” What a douchy, heel promo. If Briscoe really cared about the title, he would have cashed in his rematch earlier (we can assume that ROH pays Jay Lethal enough to keep him out of poverty even without him being world champion so there is no humanitarian concern here… which actually makes Jay Briscoe’s promo even more douchy and heelish).

A disappointing show from ROH. It was supposed to build the PPV, but, aside from Corino’s promo, all of the hype stunk. They didn’t even run down the full card, both the tag title and TV Title matches got almost no hype (and that’s even with Castle wrestling on this show!), and other matches that should feel like much bigger deals based on the stars involved (the Cole & Bucks vs. Moose & War Machine match in particular) came off like complete and total afterthoughts… if they even got mentioned at all (Kyle vs. Kamaitachi, for instance, wasn’t even mentioned despite the fact that they need to make Kyle look like a major player because he is challenging for the world title at the TV tapings). If not for Whitmer vs. Corino, I don’t think I’d care about this PPV enough to buy it.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Kevin Kelly brings up that Will Ferrara’s original trainer was Taz, and that there are similarities between the two, including Ferrara having “a real edge.”
Yes. Will Ferrara, the blandest man in a company often accused of being full of bland wrestlers… and Kevin Kelly is trying to convince us that he has “a real edge.”

2. Kevin Kelly said that the main event would have “huge Best in the World implications.”
This is blatantly untrue. The outcome of this match will not matter one bit to anything that happens on the PPV.