Thelone reviews OVW Saturday Night Special : Defiance 2021

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Thelone
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Joined: Jul 9th, '19, 16:22

Thelone reviews OVW Saturday Night Special : Defiance 2021

Post by Thelone » May 26th, '21, 18:47



That show came out of nowhere, but sure.

We look back at what happened between Cash Flo and Omar Amir the last few weeks.

William Lutz (w/ Dave Baker) vs. Luscious Lawrence (w/ Kindly Myers) - **1/2
Ms. Myers here is quite the upgrade compared to Haley J. "She has 1.5 million Instagram followers", more like 2.8 actually, but alright. At one point, Lawrence did a stinkface on Baker (kinda) and he just left because "he didn't sign up for this shit", then Luscious hit the confused Lutz with his finisher for the win.

Backstage with Bruce Wayans who said suckers a whole lot and a bunch of pseudo intimidating shit at the Box Office Blonds. At least he didn't say "let's get dangerous" or some other DW one-liner this time. Tom Caffey (oh yeah, they're teaming here) said one sentence and was a billion times more effective.

The Box Office Blonds (Adam Swayze & Big Rex) vs. Bruce Wayans & Tom Coffey - *1/2
Is Wayans supposed to be a joke or something? I mean yeah, he's called Bruce Wayans and billed from New Gotham, but the announcers just said that he likes to be called the Bat Man as well. Anyway, Coffey unsurprisingly jumped off the apron when Wayans was going for the hot tag, and M. Bat ate the Blonds' finisher for the loss.

Backstage with Koda Jacobs and I guess his two celebrity managers. He seems to have some weird campaign stuff going on (how topical?), but this is so out-of-sync that I can't be bothered to listen to what they're actually saying. He's a dick to them though, then another lady comes in and hypes up Tony Evans while being VERY hands on. The fuck did I just watch?

Koda Jacobs (w/ Harley Harmon & Lee Cruse) vs. Tony Evans (w/ Etta May) - **
At least it wasn't a comedy match like I was dreading after that mess of a segment. To the shock of no one, Cruse and Harmon walked out on Jacobs, then he got caught in Evans' finisher and lost. Not very creative with the finishes so far, huh?

Black and white promo with Ashcraft who just says that Hy-Zaya will regain his title in the gauntlet match tonight.

Jace Karr vs. Star Rider (c) vs. Gustavo vs. Hy-Zaya (w/ Josh Ashcraft) vs. D'Mone Solavino - **1/2
Rider squashed Karr in thirty seconds. Gustavo was a bit tougher, but Rider still beat him fairly quickly. Zaya dominated him, but then got caught in a slow motion canadian destroyer and lost again. He then beat up Rider some more and a bunch of referees came out to stop him. Solavino is the last guy out and taking his sweet ass time to take advantage of the situation, so long in fact that Rider rolled him up for the three. It was mostly movez, but also fine for what it was.

Backstage with yet another celebrity manager you can barely hear. Anyway, this guy is Cash Flo's manager and the video went out-of-sync again, so no...

Jordan Kage (w/ Scott Davenport) vs. Cash Flo (w/ Kash Daniel & Josh Ashcraft) - **1/2
So I'm a bit confused here. Isn't the heavyweight title the main one in OVW? If so, why is Flo in this tournament for a clearly inferior one? Or is the National title (the one Godderz has) now the top prize around here? Anyway, the crowd is chanting "buttcrack" at Flo after he ripped his pants a few weeks ago. It was really slow at the beginning with a ton of cat and mouse stuff, then it picked up decently afterwards. Daniel did a stunner on Kage while the referee was busy elsewhere, then Flo hit a big splash from the top rope for the win.

Backstage with Dani Mo who said nothing of note, then more out-of-sync promos from Grimm and Alexander. All of those are clearly pretaped, how can they be THIS BAD?

Lilith Grimm vs. Dani Mo vs. Arie Alexander - *
Man, you could hear a pin drop during most of this match. "Those women are just exhausted at this point", IT'S BEEN BARELY FIVE MINUTES AND NOT EVEN THAT INTENSE!!! I mean, they're all selling it like they've been going for twenty, but that's a 3-way trope for you. Anyway, Alexander got the win out of nowhere with a facebuster on Grimm.

Backstage with Amir who basically did a recap of his storyline with Flo. He also won't forget what Flo said about chosing a stipulation.

Next special is Chained Carnage on June 26th.

Big Zo (w/Josh Ashcraft) vs. Omar Amir - ***
Second match of Amir's trial. Not much to say really, it was pretty good and Amir won clean.

Post-match, Flo came out and yelled at Amir from the entrance.

Backstage with... people. Once again, the sound is horribly low and the only point is to show off the new belt's sponsor (Country Boy, which is a brewery apparently) even though we hear it twenty times on every show already (and butchered half the time, because Country Boy™ Kentucky Tournament doesn't really roll out the tongue).

Facade (w/ Daniel Harrison) vs. Dustin Jackson (w/ Eddie Montgomery) - **1/2
Now the sound is loud as fuck from time to time (what is this "sound balance" you speak of?) and it actually scared me the first time. This was a bit too cute for my taste, but I can't say it was bad or anything. Jackson won with his finisher after Facade missed a springboard move.

Post-match, they all shook hands until AJ Daniels came out to say he's been overlooked lately. Both him and Montgomery traded barbs for a little while, then Daniels got beat up by Facade and Jackson, then Montgomery bodyslammed him and did a (really bad) elbow drop, then they counted the three and posed. That was your Sportscenter moment (or whatever the local variant might be) I guess.

Backstage (locker room really) with Godderz and Gunn. They bickered for a bit, teased tension some more with Jessie being an ass to Gunn who just left after a while.

The Tate Twins (Brendon and Brent) vs. Jessie Godderz & Tony Gunn (w/ Shannon the Dude) - ***1/2
Pretty solid, although that was getting a bit aimless by the end. At one point, Godderz ducked a baseball slide from one of the twins by shoving a cameraman right into it. Referees came out to see how he was and was soon replaced by Kal Herro. The match kept going normally until Gunn went on the third rope to finish off whichever twin and finally saw Herro filming. He went towards Herro to beat him up, only to be rolled up by the twin for the win and the belts.

Post-match, Gunn is mad and wanna get his hands on Herro, BUT WE'RE OUTTA TIME!!!

As predicted, this was pretty much a two-hour version of the regular TV show. It wasn't a bad show or anything (well, if you don't count the technical issues), but there was nothing important besides the main event. I'm also starting to feel numb by the tournament already and we're not even done with the first round yet.

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