CATRINA TELEPORTS TO KING CUERNO’S TROPHY ROOM TO STEAL THE GAUNTLET OF THE GODS- But King Cuerno has moved it because, as he tells her “Even I know that some trophies are too dangerous to display.” He said this in English. Did he ever used to speak English before?
Anyway, he tells her that “the Gauntlet of the Gods is the hand that could strike down the descendants of the seven Aztec tribes. And I can’t let that happen.” Rather than try to lie, Catrina flat-out admits her selfish motivations of wanting the gauntlet. King Cuerno tells her that he “gave it to someone for safekeeping” and tells her that he doesn’t know “where or when he hid it,” so my guess is that it’s Aero Star. He also told Catrina “I don’t give a sh*t whether or not you get your life back.” I don’t ever remember them saying sh*t on this show before. She disappears, leaving a towel on his arm.
LUCHA UNDERGROUND TRIOS TITLE MATCH: Killshot, The Mack, & Son of Havok(c) vs. Infamous Incorporated (Sammy Guevara, Big Bad Steve, & “The Savage” Jake Strong) (w/Famous B & Brenda)- 5/10
Jake Strong is Jack Swagger, who looks quite different without his hair dyed blond. The babyfaces won a good little opener. Strong attacked his teammates after the match and broke Famous B’s ankle. He got the fans to chant “STRONG!” along with him.
WINNER GETS AN ANCIENT AZTEC MEDALLION: El Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Drago (w/Kobra Moon)- 6.5/10
A very fun Lucha Libre match. Striker told us that El Dragon Azteca Jr. (and thus also his predecessor and presumably Rey Mysterio Jr. as well) is a member of the Eagle Tribe.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- great!
Johnny Mundo showed up to taunt Kobra Moon over Drago’s inability to defeat El Dragon Azteca Jr. and asked her “what are you going to do when one of your guys has to face the mayor of Slam Town.” I love Johnny Mundo so much.
This was all a distraction to allow Taya to slip into the ring and nail Kobra Moon with a spear when she turned around. Taya started raining punches down on Kobra Moon so Drago moved to pull her off by Mundo got into the ring and punted him in the nuts from behind. Johnny then nailed Drago with the running knee, after which he and Taya made in the middle of the ring in as obnoxious a manner as manner.
They seem to be intent on keeping this feud heel vs. heel, and I think that’s definitely the right way to go. Mundo’s antics will eventually turn him babyface on their own, of course, and both Jack and Taya have a natural likability factor, so the stable will inevitably be received as babyfaces, but having them still act like heels allows them to do things that Kobra Moon will likely find more frustrating, and her reactions- just imagine her sitting on her throne in her palace vowing revenge in a shrieking, Rita Repulsa-esque voice- are going to be key to making this work.
The other reason I think that keeping this as heel vs. heel is for the best is because of Drago. We know he’s really a babyface at heart, so when he does eventually shake off Kobra Moon’s blackmail or brainwashing or whatever, he’ll still have reason to be angry at Mundo for his standard dickishness, meaning that Drago’s babyface turn won’t be marred by him also being the middle of a feud against another babyface.
CATRINA VISITS MR. CUETO IN HIS OFFICE- fine
He sees her teleport in and doesn’t react particularly surprised, despite his claim to have thought her powers were BS. He flat out asks her what she is, and she just flat out tells him. She asks for him to book Mil Muertes vs. Fenix in a Grave Consequences Match because if Mil Muertes wins she will be able to take Fenix’s life force and then she’ll be fully human again rather than her current state of being “stuck between this world and the next.”
Mr. Cueto agrees, and she leaves. Then Mr. Cueto started acting oddly. I won’t quite say he was “concerned” about it, but he did look either pained or worried about something else. We got some close-ups of the head of his cane, which has a black bull’s head carved onto it. His desk contains a black figurine which I didn’t get a good look at, but it seemed like some kind of elongated panther.
LUCHA UNDERGROUND TITLE MATCH: Pentagon Dark(c) vs. “The Monster” Matanza Cueto- 6.75/10
Pentagon Dark won clean in eight minutes. That is nowhere near enough time for not only a big title match but also for ANY Matanza loss, never mind his first-ever singles loss. This also happened with a grand total of one week of build. What gives, LU?
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- odd
Pentagon Dark went to break Matanza’s arm but Mr. Cueto came out of his office holding up the key, and this apparently gave Matanza the strength to power out and stop his arm from being broken (and I’m sure that is exactly how we’re supposed to read it because 1) they wouldn’t have cut it that way if it wasn’t and 2) Striker outright said it. So are they doing an Undertaker/Paul Bearer/Urn thing? And why have we never seen this with Matanza before? Did Dario just not know that the key gave his brother (extra) super-strength?
Mr. Cueto then slapped Matanza and told him that Dario “spoiled” him, causing him to become weak.
JEREMIAH CRANE & MR. CUETO IN MR. CUETO’S OFFICE- fine
Crane wants into next week’s Grave Consequences Match so that he can dispose of both Mil Muertes and Fenix and show Catrina that “I’m the only man she needs.” Mr. Cueto says okay and turns it into a “Three-Way To The Grave Match.”
This was a much more enjoyable show than last week. The backstage stuff was back, we got some good little matches to build some stories, and a bit of mytharc-relevant information. That being said, the main event was very disappointing, and while it still does have me concerned about hot-shotting, at least they do seem to have some sort of idea in mind (even if it seems a little lame right now).
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. When Mr. Cueto mentioned the Gift of the Gods Championship, Matt Striker immediately felt the need to pipe up and say it was “one of the most prestigious championships in Lucha Underground.”
Of all of the f*cking words in the English language to describe a championship, this idiot picks the one word that WWE has turned into inadvertent self-parody to describe their championships. Moron.
PWG, EVOLVE, AAW, WWN, etc
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