BRM Reviews CHIKARA Behind The 8 Ball (QUACK & JIGSAW VS. OSIRIAN PORTAL!)

[Big Red Machine]

CHIKARA Behind The 8 Ball (4/25/2009)- Easton, PA

I did not need well over six minutes of Gavin singing to start this off.

2.0 PROMO- good.
They haven’t been able to get more than one point in over two years, and they’re getting desperate. They’re currently sitting at zero.

2.0 vs. INCOHERENCE (Frightmare & Hallowicked)- 6/10
2.0 pick up the win when Brodie Lee comes out to taunt Incoherence with the mask of Frightmare’s that he stole several months ago in this very building, allowing them to get rolled up.

NEVAEH PROMO- bad.
This was a completely bland promo made worse by the fact that she was talking so fast that I was barely able to understand her (and I’m someone who is used to dealing with people who talk very quickly).

SHARK GIRL vs. NEVAEH- 3.75/10
They did the standard Shark Boy/Girl ass-biting comedy, then did a bit of wrestling. The finish was yet another example of why the Overdrive should never even be done, never mind as a finisher. Has that move EVER not looked like sh*t?

ESCORPION EGIPCIO vs. HELIOS- 4.75/10
They had a big guy vs. little guy match. Escorpion Egipcio could have won several times but pulled off of the cover. Then he went to the top rope where Helios immediately cut him off, hit the 630 senton, and won.

BRODIE LEE, PLAYER DOS, TIM DONST, & STIGMA vs. BUCK HAWKE, PLAYER UNO, HYDRA, & VIN GERARD- 6.75/10
As you’ve probably guessed, this was a Parejas Increibles match. The reason you might not have guessed is that Brodie Lee and Buck Hawke don’t fit the pattern. The reason for this is that Hawke’s usual partner, Mitch Ryder, was supposed to be in this match but he no-showed and thus Brodie was thrown in as an emergency replacement.
The story of this whole match that Parejas Increibles format, showing us the various dynamics at work in both having regular partners on opposite sides and guys who don’t get along forced to be partners, and what happens when those situations are mixed together. They had a lot of fun with it, but also did a good job at creating heat. Donst and STIGMA wound up brawling all over the place and it took a lot of effort to pull them off of each other after the match ended.

GRAN AKUMA vs. SHADOW PHOENIX- 7/10
These guys had an excellent match for the time they were given. Shadow Phoenix even earned himself some “PLEASE COME BACK!” chants.

THE COLONY (Fire Ant & Soldier Ant) vs. F.I.S.T. (Chuck Taylor & Icarus)- 7/10
Great match. Worker Ant’s selling was excellent and this really felt like an escalation of the hate in this feud.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- forget what I said before. THIS is a real escalation of hate. This culminated in the challenge being laid out for and accepted for a double apuesta match next month at Anniversario weekend: The Colony’s masks vs. F.I.S.T.’s hair! And once it was official, they went right back to brawling.

COLIN DELANEY PROMO- decent.

YOUNG LIONS CUP MATCH: Equinox(c) vs. Colin Delaney- 6.5/10
Early on, Equinox got pissed and took his mask off. This really helped to get across how personal this feud was.

2 OUT OF 3 FALLS AMTCH FOR THE CHIKARA CAMPEONATOS DE PAREJAS: The Osirian Portal(c) vs. Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw- 9.25/10
The Osirian Portal worked over Jigsaw’s arm in the first fall and Quackenbush’s back in the second, and both babyfaces sold in an exemplary fashion. The match built extremely well and the false finishes were fantastic. One other thing I’d like to note that I really enjoyed was the way they did the hypnosis spot in this match. They found a way to do it that was still comic book-y (it’s hypnosis, after all), but was serious rather than the usual comedy, because comedy would be out of place in a huge tag title main event such as this. Go out of your way to see this one. It’s quite the classic. Like, it was good enough that my suspicion is that they left it off the Best of 2009 DVD (despite putting the previous two matches on it) because it was good enough to sell this DVD on its own… and they were right.

An excellent show from CHIKARA, with great wrestling and/or major storyline moments in pretty much every match, culminating in one of the best matches in the promotion’s history. And they even managed to do it on a show where we not only had a no-show, but where they were also relatively shorthanded, not having UltraMantis Black, Claudio Castagnoli, Eddie Kingston, Lince Dorado, or Delirious on the card. THIS is what CHIKARA should be.