BRM Reviews Lucha Underground Ultima Lucha III (full event)

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews Lucha Underground Ultima Lucha III (full event)

Post by Big Red Machine » Oct 20th, '17, 02:23

Lucha Underground Ultima Lucha III:


HANDICAP MATCH IN WHICH IF EL TEXANO JR. LOSES, HE MUST SIGN A CONTRACT WITH FAMOUS B’S STABLE: El Texano Jr. vs. Famous B & Dr. Wagner Jr.- (w/Brenda)- DUD!
The first thing that happened was that Matt Striker said that “Famous B’s arm has been broken longer than ‘Cowboy’ Bob Orton and Mike Sharpe combined.” This is not even remotely close to being true. In fact, it hasn’t even been two months, which isn’t in any way an unreasonable amount of time. F*ck it. His dumb ass is getting muted.
Dario double-crossed El Texano Jr. by letting Famous B have Dr. Wagner Jr. as his partner. WHY? What does Dario gain from this? And if you were Famous B, why would not just walk out right now? The wording of the stipulation was that he would have to sign with Famous B if he lost, but Dario changing the stips on him gives him the right to ignore his part of the stip, so he wouldn’t be doing anything morally wrong or damaging to his reputation as a man of his word, and what is anyone going to do to him? I guess Dario could fire him, but so what? Why can’t he just go work AAA again? We know AAA exists in this universe, so why should Texano really care that much about working for Dario. Surely he could make up any lost income by working for other promoters. But apparently Texano is going to go through with this because I guess he’s an idiot.
Speaking of idiots, whereas a competent babyface announcer would be outraged that Texano is getting screwed here, Matt Striker all giddy and excited to see Dr. Wagner Jr. again. This is the second straight year where they’ve just had Dr. Wagner Jr. randomly show up at Ultima Lucha to screw a babyface. Last year it wound up resulting a feud of Famous B & Dr. Wagner vs. Son of Havoc & Mascarita Sagrada that did nothing for any of those guys, so I really don’t have high hopes for whatever might come out of this.
Apparently this is a No DQs match, too, because Dr. Wanger Jr. just nailed Texano with some sort of big heavy object and the referee just let it go. Texano ripped Famous B’s cast off and slammed his arm into things and he sold it, but then, when he was later tagged into the match and Texano was just throwing him around, he didn’t sell his arm at all. The finish saw Texano be a total dumbass, allowing himself to be seduced by Brenda even though everyone else in the building knew that she was just trying to distract him (and if she really did have the hots for him, why didn’t he just take the three seconds to pin Famous B first and then go kiss her?). This allowed Famous B to roll Texano up and pin him with his feet on the ropes. So yes, Famous B cheated and Texano got screwed, but I still have no sympathy for him because it was his own damn fault!
This whole thing was completely idiotic to me. Like I said above, Dario doing this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, and both the stipulation change itself and Dr. Wagner Jr.’s mere presence were grating to me. If you want to end up with Texano being forced to work for Famous B then wouldn’t it make more sense to have Famous B win because some other wrestler- say one who wants to curry favor with Famous B so that Famous B will take him on as a client as well- would run in and cost Texano the match? That would not only leave the originally-announced stipulations in play and not require bringing in Dr. Wagner Jr., but it would also give you a chance to do something with someone on the main roster you’re not currently doing anything with. Perhaps this wrestler and Famous B could team up with the unwilling Texano to go after the Lucha Underground Trios Titles, giving that division something new (the belts aren’t even being defended at any point in this FOUR-WEEK Ultima Lucha!)?

We got a rundown of the remaining matches for Ultima Lucha III, during which several things struck me.
1. Sexy Star and Taya are having a Last Luchadora Standing Match… and I don’t even think they’ve even cut a promo on each other.
2. Vamp was insistent that Crane, Mil, and Cage all “hate each other,” but I don't think they do. I’m sure mil and Crane don’t like each other, but I don’t know if I’d call it hatred, and even if they did, I don’t think either of them hate Cage or vice versa.
3. They tried to tell me that rivalry between Catrina and Ivelisse “has just kept building and building for three years,” which is completely laughable seeing as how we haven't’ even seen Ivelisse in forever, and we’ve had no explanation of where she is. People don’t even mention her when they’re talking about Jeremiah Crane, who, as far as we know, is still her boyfriend.
4. They’ve added yet another match, a big battle royale for a “unique opportunity,” and after the disaster at last year’s show, I don’t care about this one bit because I’m certain that whoever wins will just get screwed in some way or another.

We’re already a third of the way done with the show and there has been maybe five minutes of wrestling, and the rest has just been recaps and plugs. We haven’t even gotten any backstage segments.

HELL OF WAR MATCH: Dante Fox vs. Killshot- a PERFECT 10/10!
This is LU’s version of Three Stages of Hell, but they gave it a really dumb name. The three matches will be First Blood, then No DQs, then, (if necessary), a “Medical Evac” match, which is just an Ambulance Match. I have no idea where these first two stip are coming from or why this is best 2-out-of-3. It would make A LOT more sense to me to just do the “Medical Evac” Match, which is something that LU has never done before, something that has some thematic connection to the feud, and which, unlike the horrifically generic and forced “Hell of War,” is a name that actually gives you some sort of idea about what type of match it is.
Those were my thoughts going into this match, and on principle I still do stand by them, and if this situation ever came up again I would say the same thing. But…
Fox and Killshot deserve SOOOOOOOOOO much credit for everything they did here. They took a format that should have hurt the match and instead used it to make the match feel like one story that built more and more over time rather than three consecutive smaller stories.
They also put themselves through absolute hell, and I never, ever, ever want to see anyone do this again. They took tons of crazy bumps and both wound up as bloody messes by the end of it… and all of this blood was completely uncontrolled hard-way blood from shards of broken glass absolutely shredding their backs. I spent most of the match afraid that one of them was going to wind up cutting an artery and bleeding out like Nick Gage. I cannot stress enough that I never, ever, ever want to see guys do this sort of thing again… but however uncomfortable it made me, I won’t deny them the fact they had an extremely dramatic match and told an exciting and engaging story, and told that story perfectly.



WEEK TWO:

We open with Jeremiah Crane and Ivelisse arguing in the bathroom. Apparently Crane just told Ivelisse that he is in love with Catrina and not her. Why did this happen off-camera? And speaking of off-camera, raise your hand if you forgot that Ivelisse was in this company. Yeah, me too.
Anyway, Ivelisse dumps him, which is exactly what you should do when your significant other tells you that they love someone else instead of you. Then Crane called her a bitch so she superkicked him through a stall door and he was knocked out. That part I didn’t like, and for two reasons. The first is that while it did all feel natural, it also felt a little gratuitous. Like the writers wanted to give her a “win” here so they had Crane do something she would have to respond to and had her respond in a way that was designed to show us all how tough she was, even though the whole thing was unnecessary. The other reason I didn’t like it was that if Crane can get knocked out by one kick into a door, how the hell am I supposed to believe that he has a snowball’s chance in hell in his match with Mil Muertes and Cage?


BATTLE ROYALE FOR A “UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY”- DUD!
Pimpnella Escarlata is back. Who gives a sh*t? Not me. In fact, I don’t give a sh*t about this entire match because I don’t know what’s on the line, but I do know that Dario is going to screw the winner for no reason whatsoever, so why should I invest myself in it at all?
Bunch of people were quickly eliminated. Then Pimpinella Escarlata went to go suck Paul London’s dick. That’s what happened. Paul thrusted his dick at Pimpy and Pimpy ran over to him and put his mouth on it.
Pimpy, who isn’t even close to a regular in the company, eliminated the entire Rabbit Tribe as well as Mascarita Sagrada. Then he eliminated himself like a total moron (what kind of idiot would do a rope-walk in a battle royale?) in the process of eliminating Argenis as well. Way to get everyone over, LU bookers. Sagrada then came back in, only to get kicked in the nuts and then tossed right back out to the floor by P.J. Black. Mandel was then eliminated in another stupid spot, then The Mack eliminated P.J. to win the privilege of being metaphorically sodomized by Dario Cueto. Total match time was 3:32.
DARIO REVEALS HOW THE MACK WILL BE METAPHORICALLY SODOMIZED- he will be given a Trios Title match next week, but he’ll have to team with Dante Fox and Killshot, who both hate each other and just had an absolutely hellacious match next week. Wow. That was much gentler than I was expecting.

IVELISSE vs. CATRINA (w/Mil Muertes)- 5.75/10
I think Luchadores in full suit and tie while still wearing their masks is the most awesome thing ever, but Mil Muertes should not be doing it. He’s Mil Muertes! His name means “one-thousand deaths.” That’s not the name of guy who owns a suit, never mind wears one.
Ivelisse charged at Catrina and took her down, and at this point I remembered who Catrina is and realized that f*cking Maxine now had to wrestle. Then, much to my surprise, they exchanged some really hard chops on the floor and it was actually pretty intense. Then Catrina ran into Dario’s office and locked the door. Ivelisse went to go through the other door to Dario’s office (the backstage one), but that one was also locked. She finally went back around to the ringside door and kicked it in… and then ran straight into a glass bottle to the head from Catrina. There was no DQ for this. They’ve also been on the outside forever and the referee has not once attempted to count them out.
Then Catrina broke two more bottles over Ivelisse’s head, busting her open. I would say that Ivelisse bled “a lot,” but last week’s match is still pretty fresh in my mind, so let’s just say that Ivelisse bled a lot more than the usual. They had a short but pretty good fight up one flight of stairs and down another, with Ivelisse taking over and sending Catrina scurrying. Specifically, Catrina scurried for the corner of the ring where Mil Muertes left the box that holds her (or is it his?) special stone. Ivelisse cut her off before she could get to it so they did another spot or two and Catrina took over and got the stone this time but Ivelisse stopped her from using it yet again. Ivelisse eventually got the stone and hit Catrina with it, then hit her with one of those MsChif-style arm-scissors DDTs for the win. I was absolutely shocked that Jeremiah Crane didn’t cost attack Ivelisse and cost her the match. That’s how I would have booked this, and kept her “winless at Ultima Lucha” streak going into next year, leading to her getting some big win (maybe the Gift of the Gods Title?) at Ultima Lucha IV. Anyway, this was BY FAR the best match Karlee Perez has ever had, and really is worth your time to watch. Ivelisse was an absolutely excellent babyface here.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Jeremiah Crane attacked her from behind and took out her knee with a hammer.

MASK VS. HAIR MATCH: Fenix(mask) vs. Marty “The Moth” Martinez(hair) (w/Mariposa)- 8/10
Mariposa kept interfering and the referee just kept letting it go. Dude! It’s a Lucha de Apuesta! You can’t let people get away with cheating! This is a career-altering match! Mariposa would later just walk out of the match after getting taken out but a dive from Fenix. Vampiro claimed that Marty had pulled her into harm’s way, but it didn’t look that way to me. Then again, it didn’t look that way to Matt Striker, either, so maybe I am wrong.
Marty pretty much ripped Fenix’s mask off in the middle of the match, anyway, so there goes that part of the stip. He also dropped Fenix into an exposed turnbuckle and Fenix bled like a stuck pig (it wasn’t Marty’s fault. I only wrote “dropped” because that was the most accurate description of what happened).
They did some great, dramatic wrestling for a while with several great nearfalls. Then Marty grabbed a pair of scissors from his lunchbox with which he proceeded to slice up Fenix’s already-bleeding forehead. The referee just let him do this. Then he went to SLICE FENIX’S THROAT OPEN, but thankfully Melissa Santos ran up on the apron to plead for Fenix’s life, telling Marty that the two of them could run away together as long as he just put down the scissors.
Marty did so, then went over to Melissa and pulled her into the ring. He went to kiss her but she slapped him and managed to escape his grip. Then she kicked Marty in the nuts. All of this happened right in front of the referee and there was no call for a DQ. If the match is going to be No DQs, JUST TELL ME IN ADVANCE. This all bought Fenix the time he needed to recover, hit some moves, and win. I’m not crazy about Fenix needing help to get the win, but I think it worked for this particular story. That being said, I don’t think this feud can be over now because I don’t see Marty as the type of guy who will let Melissa’s promise to run away with him slide. He’s just that crazy.

Then Matt Striker tried his best to kill this for me by screaming out overly-dramatic, overly-poetic bullsh*t.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Marty just walked away without getting his head shaved, going to Mariposa, who was calling to him from the top of the stairs. You’d think Dario would have something to say about Marty killing his stips, but apparently not. Then, in a Russo Swerve that I think everyone saw coming, Mariposa turned on Marty, hitting him in the head with a chair. But hey! At least we created a spot for Melissa Santos to shout “don’t be a pussy!” at Marty, because getting the ring announcer over is more important than making things make sense. Mariposa handcuffed Marty to the railing so that he could be shaved bald. So did Dario really not have any way to force the loser to abide by the stipulations of this match?
So Marty gets shaved. I’m sure he’ll be back, crazier and more twisted than ever, and be out for revenge on not just Melissa and Fenix but on Mariposa as well. If that was the whole purpose of this Russo Swerve, I think the same thing could have been accomplished simply with Mariposa walking out on Marty (Marty’s crazy mind would certainly take that as a betrayal), and then could have actually had Mariposa’s babyface turn be a gradual one with a more fleshed-out story attached to it in which we could actually learn something about her character. At this point all we know is that she is fiercest warrior of the Moth Tribe that she’s Marty’s sister. And this is a character that has been on the show for two years now. I’m not saying that hasn’t been fine until now, but she needs to develop at some point, and telling a fleshed-out story of Marty turning on her would have been a great way to do.

A great show LU, despite the DUD at the beginning. Ultima Lucha continues to deliver, no matter how skeptical the booking going in has made me.


WEEK 3:

LAST LUCHADORA STANDING MATCH: Sexy Star vs. Taya- 6.5/10
The match hasn’t even started and Striker has already gone on one of his dumb rants about how much he loves that the wrestlers here in Lucha Underground settle their differences in the ring rather than flaming each other on Twitter. If this is in fact the final season of Lucha Underground, at least I won’t ever have to deal with Matt Striker on a weekly basis ever again.
The planted Sexy Star fans are back. For a show that shows us literally the same fans every week, you’d think they’d try to have these plants shown in more than just two matches throughout Sexy Star’s entire three-year (so-far) run.
Sexy Star broke a bottle over Taya’s head and busted her open. If that sounds familiar to you, it’s probably because they did the same exact spot in last week’s women’s match. They hit each other really hard and a really great fight, but they didn’t make good use of the stipulation to the point where it felt like it shouldn’t have been Last Luchadora Standing Match. I’m not even sure they had any “nearfalls.” They just beat the sh*t out of each other, then then did their one huge bump off of a camera platform through two tables and Sexy Star got up at the last second and Taya didn’t and the match was over. It wouldn’t be fair to call it “anti-climactic” because they did end it at the high point, but it also felt like it just wasn’t enough because of the lack of any other false finishes. It felt like someone took a great brawl and then grafted a Last Luchadora Standing finish onto it.

LUCHA UNDERGROUND TRIOS TITLE MATCH: The Reptile Tribe(c) (w/Kobra Moon) vs. Dante Fox, Killshot, & The Mack- 6.5/10
Both Killshot and Fox had their torsos taped up after that insane match they had two weeks ago. They sold their injuries well throughout the match, and they also told a good story of these two starting to gradually work together. The babyfaces picked up the upset victory, which I liked simply because the Reptile Tribe hasn’t done sh*t since winning the belts.

LADDER MATCH FOR THE VACANT LUCHA UNDERGROUND GIFT OF THE GODS TITLE: Son of Havoc vs. Pentagon Dark- 7.25/10
The usual Ladder Match stuff, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t still great.

VAMPIRO (not Ian. Actual Vampiro make-up Vampiro) GIVES PRINCE PUMA A PEP TALK- Prince Puma absorbs what Vamp has to say, then leaves. Once Prince Puma is gone, a mysterious, demonic-sounding disembodied voice tells Vampiro that he has “done well.” The candles in the room go out, and Vampiro responds “thank you, master.”
Well… that was interesting and mysterious.

A good show from Lucha Underground, though I expect a bit more from Ultima Lucha. Next week is a two-hour show with only four matches scheduled, so it should either have some very long matches or a lot of plot development. Or, ideally, both. I’m certainly looking forward to it.

WEEK FOUR:
Vampiro is wearing a suit?

STEEL CAGE MATCH: El Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. “the Monster” Matanza Cueto (w/Dario Cueto)- 7/10
El Dragon Azteca Jr. got to do some Lucha spots but then Matanza cut him off and threw him around a bit before giving him a big overhead Belly-to-Belly suplex that knocked down one of the panels of the cage and El Dragon Azteca Jr. tumbled out of the cage to a completely accidental victory. Then Dario ordered the match restarted, and even though he was, technically, screwing a babyface for totally heelish reasons, when Dario ordered the match restarted, the first hoguht through my head was “thank you, Dario, for making sure that I, your viewing customer, do not get f*cked out of this highly-anticipated match because one dude got his ass kicked so hard that we won by accident.” And of course, because this is the one time that I don’t side with the babyface, it also happens to be the one time that Matt Striker actually does his job and acts outraged that a babyface is being screwed.
Matt Striker said the following: “Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls and hospitals here more sincere prayers than church walls.” While this all sounds nice, I would love it if someone could possibly explain to me WHY Striker decided to say this.
Matanza went after El Dragon Azteca Jr. on the outside but El Dragon Azteca Jr. reversed something into a DDT, then went after Dario. He almost got Dario’s shirt ripped off by Matanza made the save. I’m pretty certain Dario might just order Matanza to end El Dragon Azteca Jr.’s life right here and now.
They did more stuff, all revolving around the fact that Matanza is much bigger and stronger than El Dragon Azteca Jr. BLACK LOTUS made her return to Lucha Underground, climbing up the cage and jumping in to attack El Dragon Azteca Jr. and I popped HUGE. I was actually expecting her to help him but I’m still happy because this should finally mean that their story is going to move forward after not doing anything for an entire season. Plus, her being back on Dario’s side should the writers an opportunity to give us more of Dario’s backstory.
One Wrath of the Gods later and Matanza picked up the win. The fans were very unhappy with this finish.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- it’s a Russo Swerve. Black Lotus waited for Matanza to climb the ropes, then hit him in the nuts and powerbombed him down. She then started to throttle Dario and called him a liar. He offered to give her information if she let him go. She did… and Matanza then came up behind her, goozled her, then hit her with Wrath of the Gods while Dario proudly accepted the label of “liar.”

ELIMINATION MATCH FOR THE GAUNTLET OF THE GODS: Cage vs. Jeremiah Crane vs. Mil Muertes (w/Catrina)- 9.5/10
Before the match started, Dario came out and added the elimination stip, which makes perfect sense with Dario’s real goal here, which is to ensure that the strongest, most worthy Luchador gets the gauntlet, so it makes sense to eliminate the chance of the person who is actually the second strongest pinning the third strongest to win the match.
This match was a f*cking FIGHT. This was three dudes who would settle for winning this wrestling match, but they honestly didn’t care if they did so by getting a three count or because the other two were unable to compete any longer because they were maimed or dead, and that’s all there was to it. They each wanted to win and if that meant killing the two then so be it.
There was lots of bleeding, as you would expect. Most of it was from Crane, who got busted open early and bled all over. Cage bled from the top of his head when Jeremiah Crane STABBED HIM IN THE SKULL WITH A HANDFUL OF SKEWERS. And even DDTed him with them still in! Mil Muertes bled from his arm after going shoulder-first through a big old pane of glass that was wedged right up against a cement wall so there was no way the glass wasn’t going into his arm.
They beat the sh*t out of each other, both with their hands and with weapons (including a hammer!) and threw each other off of things and through things. Mil Muertes even gave Cage the smoothest headscissors you’ve ever seen. This match was AMAZING!
The only negative here was, as you might have guessed, Matt Striker. Matt Striker decided that when Cage and Mil Muertes were fighting on the top rope would be a good time to go on a pointless tangent thanking the Lucha Underground officials for everything they do. Because he had to finish this f*cking stupid tangent, he had no emotion whatsoever when he noted that Cage had just done a freakin’ Frankensteiner. Then, what Crane grabbed some of those wooden skewers that you see used in deathmatches sometimes and STABBED CAGE RIGHT IN THE TOP OF THE HEAD WITH THEM, Striker was all jokes and smiles, talking about a “shish-Cage-bob.” Then he referred to this match as a “barbeque of brutality.” How did he even get a job in the first place?

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Mil Muertes won so Catrina retrieved the Gauntlet of the Gods from Dario. She gave it to Mil Muertes who put it on and punched the ancient Aztec seal in the center of the ring, which caused the lights to go out for a moment. That was really cool.
But when they came back on KING CUERNO was in the ring behind Mil. He kicked Mil in the head, bodyslammed Catrina, then started wailing on Mil. Cuerno eventually left, taking the Gauntlet of the Gods with him.
I really didn’t like this. In a vacuum it was a well-executed angle, but within the greater context of the show, I think it was a bad idea. This is a show that needs to be decreasing the number of characters it has, not increasing it. We were done with King Cuerno and I sure as hell wasn’t missing him, as he wasn’t a particularly interesting character, so let him be gone. I also don’t like the fact that we got screwed on a stipulation, and not just any stipulation, but a stipulation that promised to move things along. Mil Muertes won the Gauntlet of the Gods, which should lead to the next step in the story, which is going to be Catrina trying to get Mil to give her the gauntlet so she can trade it to her mother, Captain Vasquez, for the other half of the medallion to restore her to life, or Doctor Claw is going to come after Mil Muertes to try to get Mil to use the gauntlet, thus quickening the pace of whatever god/s is/are inhabiting the gauntlet possessing Mil. Either way, sh*t moves forward. What we have now- King Cuerno with the gauntlet and Mil presumably trying to get it back from him feels like a step backwards, as not only are Mil and Catrina chasing the gauntlet again but we’re now also going back to Mil Muertes vs. King Cuerno again.

WE FINALLY GET TO SEE TAYA’S DOCUMENTARY ON JOHNNY MUNDO- fun

TITLE VS. CAREER MATCH: Johnny Mundo(Lucha Underground Champion) vs. Prince Puma(career)- 7.5/10
I could have done without Rick Knox doing a dive, but other than that the match was exciting and felt huge. This was an example of overbooking helping a match, although I will admit that I wasn’t so excited for Angelico’s return, simply because it feels like his fourth return already. It’s no one’s fault that he’s been injured at bad times, but that doesn’t change the feeling.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Dario announces that there will be one more match tonight, because Pentagon Dark will be cashing in his Gift of the Gods Title for a Lucha Underground Title shot right now. Dario said that Pentagon Dark actually came up to him last week, so he is still obeying the one-week rule, and I am totally fine with Dario not actually promoting this match in advance like the rule is supposedly in place to allow him to do because this is Ultima Lucha and thus everyone is already watching anyway. This whole thing has been a pretty clever way to have Prince Puma not walk out of Ultima Lucha as champion while still not going back on the “career on the line” stip.
Or not. Dario just announced that in addition to the title, both men’s careers are on the line. He’s just lost it at this point.

LOSER LEAVES THE TEMPLE MATCH FOR THE LUCHA UNDERGROUND TITLE: Prince Puma(c) vs. Pentagon Dark- 6.75/10
They were limited by the time they got, but they tried to make the most of it. Pentagon Jr. did his arm-breaker move early, but Prince Puma taped his arm up and kept going. I know that sounds dumb, but they made it work. Prince Puma made a comeback and Vampiro got up to cheer for him and Prince Puma went up to the top rope t hit the 630… and Vampiro pulled Pentagon Dark out of the way. That is something that I definitely didn’t see coming. I guess Pentagon Dark is now Vampiro’s master? Either way, Pentagon Dark soon pinned Prince Puma to get rid of him forever and become your new Lucha Underground Champion. Vamp and Pentagon hugged and Vamp strapped the belt around Pentagon Dark’s waist.

And now the moment we’ve all been waiting for…

THE SEASON-ENDING MONTAGE!
- Prince Puma drops his mask on the ground and walks out of The Temple.
- King Cuerno admires the Gauntlet of the Gods, which he is keeping in a display case in his trophy room.
- Sexy Star is doing a promotional event when a little girl brings her a box. She tells Sexy Star that “she hasn’t forgotten about you.” Sexy Star opens the box… and there is a spider inside. Sexy Star screams in rage.
- The Rabbit Tribe bow down to Mascarita Sagrada. He tells them that he is not The White Rabbit, but says that he will take them to him. They follow him out the door.
- Melissa Santos and Fenix leave in Fenix’s car. Catrina is walking behind them. Jeremiah Crane is standing above them on a ledge, looking wistfully at Catrina.
- Kobra Moon tells a shirtless swordsman to take his place as her new king. He obeys, and also decapitates Pindar, who has been chained up as a sacrifice. Drago watches, also chained up, and very unhappy.
- We get to see Vampiro’s master. He has a cool mask. Vampiro says “I have done as you instructed: Puma is gone, and Pentagon has ascended to new heights.” Vampiro’s master responds by saying “now I will make him fall.” Then they disappear.
- We see Matanza in his cell. There is someone in the other cell, too. It’s Rey Mysterio Jr.
- Dario and Agent Winter are drinking in Dario’s office. Dario is holding the red bull statuette. He asks Agent Winter to tell their boss that he will get the Gauntlet of the Gods back. Agent Winter tells Dario “Don’t even worry. You get a pass.” Dario is surprised at this and asks why. Agent Winter says “because you’ll be dead.” Then he stands up and pulls out his gun and fires- and we cut to outside the office for a moment and see a flash of light, almost like there was a small explosion. Then we cut to back inside the office, looking from behind Dario’s chair. We see Agent Winter calmly saying “new management will take care of the gauntlet. And all of your other messes.” He leaves.
Dario has been shot, and is a bloody mess… but he’s still alive! He reaches for the red phone. He can barely dial it. He has called HIS FATHER… but he passes out before he can talk, and we fade to black.

Quite the show from Lucha Underground. The in-ring stuff was all pretty lackluster aside from the three-way, but that finishing sequence was quite crazy. More than other seasons, though, there seemed to be quite a lot of unexpected zig-zagging in this one. Hopefully there will be a Season Four to tie it all together.


STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Matt Striker- “In the city squares of Mexico City, there are family and friends of Fenix watching.”
How do you know that? He’s enmascarado. If you don’t know who he is then how do you know who his family is to be able to tell if they’re watching or not?

2. Matt Striker (while Taya and Sexy Star were chopping each other)- “As the owls of the night beg for flesh, they have come to the right place.”
Only Matt Striker would ever say this.


Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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Re: BRM Reviews Lucha Underground Ultima Lucha III (full event)

Post by cero2k » Oct 20th, '17, 09:24

Big Red Machine wrote:
Oct 20th, '17, 02:23

WEEK FOUR:

ELIMINATION MATCH FOR THE GAUNTLET OF THE GODS: Cage vs. Jeremiah Crane vs. Mil Muertes (w/Catrina)- 9.5/10

The only negative here was, as you might have guessed, Matt Striker. Matt Striker decided that when Cage and Mil Muertes were fighting on the top rope would be a good time to go on a pointless tangent thanking the Lucha Underground officials for everything they do. Because he had to finish this f*cking stupid tangent, he had no emotion whatsoever when he noted that Cage had just done a freakin’ Frankensteiner. Then, what Crane grabbed some of those wooden skewers that you see used in deathmatches sometimes and STABBED CAGE RIGHT IN THE TOP OF THE HEAD WITH THEM, Striker was all jokes and smiles, talking about a “shish-Cage-bob.” Then he referred to this match as a “barbeque of brutality.” How did he even get a job in the first place?
he redeemed himself when he said, we have Death, a Machine, and a Death Machine. I liked that.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Mil Muertes won so Catrina retrieved the Gauntlet of the Gods from Dario. She gave it to Mil Muertes who put it on and punched the ancient Aztec seal in the center of the ring, which caused the lights to go out for a moment. That was really cool.
But when they came back on KING CUERNO was in the ring behind Mil. He kicked Mil in the head, bodyslammed Catrina, then started wailing on Mil. Cuerno eventually left, taking the Gauntlet of the Gods with him.
I really didn’t like this. In a vacuum it was a well-executed angle, but within the greater context of the show, I think it was a bad idea. This is a show that needs to be decreasing the number of characters it has, not increasing it. We were done with King Cuerno and I sure as hell wasn’t missing him, as he wasn’t a particularly interesting character, so let him be gone. I also don’t like the fact that we got screwed on a stipulation, and not just any stipulation, but a stipulation that promised to move things along. Mil Muertes won the Gauntlet of the Gods, which should lead to the next step in the story, which is going to be Catrina trying to get Mil to give her the gauntlet so she can trade it to her mother, Captain Vasquez, for the other half of the medallion to restore her to life, or Doctor Claw is going to come after Mil Muertes to try to get Mil to use the gauntlet, thus quickening the pace of whatever god/s is/are inhabiting the gauntlet possessing Mil. Either way, sh*t moves forward. What we have now- King Cuerno with the gauntlet and Mil presumably trying to get it back from him feels like a step backwards, as not only are Mil and Catrina chasing the gauntlet again but we’re now also going back to Mil Muertes vs. King Cuerno again.
I kinda felt the same with Angelico, but I LOVE King Cuerno, and considering that Puma is dead, may as well replace him with someone like Cowboy Casual King Cuerno.

TITLE VS. CAREER MATCH: Johnny Mundo(Lucha Underground Champion) vs. Prince Puma(career)- 7.5/10
I could have done without Rick Knox doing a dive, but other than that the match was exciting and felt huge. This was an example of overbooking helping a match, although I will admit that I wasn’t so excited for Angelico’s return, simply because it feels like his fourth return already. It’s no one’s fault that he’s been injured at bad times, but that doesn’t change the feeling.
I didn't mind the knox thing since he didn't actually get involved afterwards in the pin or any counting,
and WWU had been pushing him before he did it


- Kobra Moon tells a shirtless swordsman to her his place as her new king. He obeys, and also decapitates Pindar, who has been chained up as a sacrifice. Drago watches, also chained up, and very unhappy.
that was Daga who the Tribe stole a long time ago and Moon claimed he was dead.


Quite the show from Lucha Underground. The in-ring stuff was all pretty lackluster aside from the three-way, but that finishing sequence was quite crazy. More than other seasons, though, there seemed to be quite a lot of unexpected zig-zagging in this one. Hopefully there will be a Season Four to tie it all together.
maybe lackluster consindering that last 3 shows, but I liked the in-ring stuff a lot.
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Re: BRM Reviews Lucha Underground Ultima Lucha III (full event)

Post by Big Red Machine » Oct 20th, '17, 09:41

cero2k wrote:
Oct 20th, '17, 09:24
Big Red Machine wrote:
Oct 20th, '17, 02:23

WEEK FOUR:

ELIMINATION MATCH FOR THE GAUNTLET OF THE GODS: Cage vs. Jeremiah Crane vs. Mil Muertes (w/Catrina)- 9.5/10

The only negative here was, as you might have guessed, Matt Striker. Matt Striker decided that when Cage and Mil Muertes were fighting on the top rope would be a good time to go on a pointless tangent thanking the Lucha Underground officials for everything they do. Because he had to finish this f*cking stupid tangent, he had no emotion whatsoever when he noted that Cage had just done a freakin’ Frankensteiner. Then, what Crane grabbed some of those wooden skewers that you see used in deathmatches sometimes and STABBED CAGE RIGHT IN THE TOP OF THE HEAD WITH THEM, Striker was all jokes and smiles, talking about a “shish-Cage-bob.” Then he referred to this match as a “barbeque of brutality.” How did he even get a job in the first place?
he redeemed himself when he said, we have Death, a Machine, and a Death Machine. I liked that.
I hated it because the only person who has ever used the term "Lucha Death Machine" to describe Jeremiah, and he's only doing so because Jeremiah is played by Sami Callihan... except that within the world of the show, Sami Callihan doesn't exist. It's another instance of Striker trying to be smarky for no reason.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Mil Muertes won so Catrina retrieved the Gauntlet of the Gods from Dario. She gave it to Mil Muertes who put it on and punched the ancient Aztec seal in the center of the ring, which caused the lights to go out for a moment. That was really cool.
But when they came back on KING CUERNO was in the ring behind Mil. He kicked Mil in the head, bodyslammed Catrina, then started wailing on Mil. Cuerno eventually left, taking the Gauntlet of the Gods with him.
I really didn’t like this. In a vacuum it was a well-executed angle, but within the greater context of the show, I think it was a bad idea. This is a show that needs to be decreasing the number of characters it has, not increasing it. We were done with King Cuerno and I sure as hell wasn’t missing him, as he wasn’t a particularly interesting character, so let him be gone. I also don’t like the fact that we got screwed on a stipulation, and not just any stipulation, but a stipulation that promised to move things along. Mil Muertes won the Gauntlet of the Gods, which should lead to the next step in the story, which is going to be Catrina trying to get Mil to give her the gauntlet so she can trade it to her mother, Captain Vasquez, for the other half of the medallion to restore her to life, or Doctor Claw is going to come after Mil Muertes to try to get Mil to use the gauntlet, thus quickening the pace of whatever god/s is/are inhabiting the gauntlet possessing Mil. Either way, sh*t moves forward. What we have now- King Cuerno with the gauntlet and Mil presumably trying to get it back from him feels like a step backwards, as not only are Mil and Catrina chasing the gauntlet again but we’re now also going back to Mil Muertes vs. King Cuerno again.
I kinda felt the same with Angelico, but I LOVE King Cuerno, and considering that Puma is dead, may as well replace him with someone like Cowboy Casual King Cuerno.

TITLE VS. CAREER MATCH: Johnny Mundo(Lucha Underground Champion) vs. Prince Puma(career)- 7.5/10
I could have done without Rick Knox doing a dive, but other than that the match was exciting and felt huge. This was an example of overbooking helping a match, although I will admit that I wasn’t so excited for Angelico’s return, simply because it feels like his fourth return already. It’s no one’s fault that he’s been injured at bad times, but that doesn’t change the feeling.
I didn't mind the knox thing since he didn't actually get involved afterwards in the pin or any counting,
and WWU had been pushing him before he did it

Right, but the pushing felt like it was done to set up the dive, and I'd have rather just not had either.

- Kobra Moon tells a shirtless swordsman to her his place as her new king. He obeys, and also decapitates Pindar, who has been chained up as a sacrifice. Drago watches, also chained up, and very unhappy.
that was Daga who the Tribe stole a long time ago and Moon claimed he was dead.
Oh. Well then. The plot thickens.


Quite the show from Lucha Underground. The in-ring stuff was all pretty lackluster aside from the three-way, but that finishing sequence was quite crazy. More than other seasons, though, there seemed to be quite a lot of unexpected zig-zagging in this one. Hopefully there will be a Season Four to tie it all together.
maybe lackluster consindering that last 3 shows, but I liked the in-ring stuff a lot.
It wasn't bad or anything. I just think it might have been helped a bit to maybe cut a bit of time off of the band playing in the begining or Dario speaking and give it to the first match, plus, coming from the first match to the second match kind of exposed the (necessary due to the storyline) weaknesses of the second match.
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Re: BRM Reviews Lucha Underground Ultima Lucha III (full event)

Post by cero2k » Oct 20th, '17, 10:22

Big Red Machine wrote:
Oct 20th, '17, 09:41

Quite the show from Lucha Underground. The in-ring stuff was all pretty lackluster aside from the three-way, but that finishing sequence was quite crazy. More than other seasons, though, there seemed to be quite a lot of unexpected zig-zagging in this one. Hopefully there will be a Season Four to tie it all together.
maybe lackluster consindering that last 3 shows, but I liked the in-ring stuff a lot.
It wasn't bad or anything. I just think it might have been helped a bit to maybe cut a bit of time off of the band playing in the begining or Dario speaking and give it to the first match, plus, coming from the first match to the second match kind of exposed the (necessary due to the storyline) weaknesses of the second match.
i did kinda feel that all three matches were main events in their own way, and every time a match ended, I wanted to focus on the aftermath of those stories, but instead I had to cleanse my head and get in the mood for the next match. It wasn't like watching the last main events of NJPW, this was a really story heavy show with TONS of stories going at the same time
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Re: BRM Reviews Lucha Underground Ultima Lucha III (full event)

Post by Big Red Machine » Oct 20th, '17, 10:59

cero2k wrote:
Oct 20th, '17, 10:22
Big Red Machine wrote:
Oct 20th, '17, 09:41

Quite the show from Lucha Underground. The in-ring stuff was all pretty lackluster aside from the three-way, but that finishing sequence was quite crazy. More than other seasons, though, there seemed to be quite a lot of unexpected zig-zagging in this one. Hopefully there will be a Season Four to tie it all together.
maybe lackluster consindering that last 3 shows, but I liked the in-ring stuff a lot.
It wasn't bad or anything. I just think it might have been helped a bit to maybe cut a bit of time off of the band playing in the begining or Dario speaking and give it to the first match, plus, coming from the first match to the second match kind of exposed the (necessary due to the storyline) weaknesses of the second match.
i did kinda feel that all three matches were main events in their own way, and every time a match ended, I wanted to focus on the aftermath of those stories, but instead I had to cleanse my head and get in the mood for the next match. It wasn't like watching the last main events of NJPW, this was a really story heavy show with TONS of stories going at the same time
Right, which is why I think that cutting out some of Dario's talking between the two world title matches would have helped because it would have made them flow together more smoothly because those should have felt like one story, not two. On the one hand I appreciate that they really tried not to go to commercial in the middle of a match, but in this instance I think it would have helped to go to a commercial early in the second match rather than right before it started.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

Upcoming Reviews:
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ROH Validation
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