BRM Reviews the 7/12/2017 Lucha Underground

[Big Red Machine]

CUETO CUP SECOND-ROUND MATCH: Taya vs. Jeremiah Crane- 6/10
Basically they just beat the sh*t out of each other for about seven minutes. Sexy Star came out to distract Taya, but for some reason they had her kick out of whatever it was that Crane hit after Sexy Star’s distraction and get a nearfall of her before getting put down, basically making Sexy Star’s distract irrelevant.

When Melissa Santos introduced Taya, Matt Striker said the following:
“As the north wind blows into the Temple, there you see the midnight sun.” The thing that concerns me the most about Lucha Underground is the judgment of the people in charge, because there is absolutely no reason Matt Striker hasn’t been replaced at this point. Absolutely none. And he just kept going on and on as the match progressed, until, by the end of this first match I didn’t just want him fired, I wanted him dead. Matt Striker is the single most intolerable person to ever appear on a wrestling show. Worse than Russo, Grado, Yano, Steph, and even worse than the entirety of the Social Outcasts put together.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- terrible
Sexy Star gets into the ring and taunts the fallen Taya for a bit, then hits the basically defenseless woman with brass knuckles. She came off like a total heel. If they wanted to do this, they could have at least had Taya knock Sexy Star out with the brass knuckles in the first round to let P.J. Black pin her rather than have Sexy Star get herself DQed for using them.

FENIX & AEROSTAR BACKSTAGE- weird.
Okay… is Aerostar a time traveler or can he see the future? Because those are two different things. And if it’s the second one, why didn’t he see Drago’s betrayal coming?
They’re concerned about Drago. Fenix is optimistic that he will rejoin them, Aerostar is not.

CUETO CUP SECOND-ROUND MATCH: Paul London vs. Mil Muertes (w/Catrina)- 0.5/10
Matt Striker plugged a Ring of Honor show from 2003 because I guess he felt the need to establish indy cred rather than just talk about how tough Paul London is. And could he not find a Lucha Underground Paul London match to plug?
Look… I know they did a lot of good stuff in here, but they wore out my patients early on and I just could not bring myself to care about his match one bit. I just wanted it to end but it kept going and going and going. The whole Rabbit Tribe is completely pointless, and every time I see them or Mascarite Sagrada on the show it irritates me because this is time that could be spent telling a story for someone I actually give a sh*t about.

BRENDA TRIES TO SEDUCE EL TEXANO JR. (apparently on Famous B’s orders)- I can totally see both Famous B and Brenda thinking that this will get Texano to sign with Famous B because neither or them is particularly bright, but I assume what will happen here is that Texano will just boink Brenda and then still not sign with Famous B.

CUETO CUP SECOND-ROUND MATCH: Fenix vs. Marty “The Moth” Martinez (w/Mariposa)- 6/10
Marty tried to stuff a sandwich in Melissa Santos’ mouth. That is not a euphemism. The story of this match was Mariposa trying to interfere, and the finish has Melissa Santos prevent her from doing so, which also distracted Marty The Moth, allowing Fenix to roll him up for the win.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Marty lays Fenix out with his lunchbox, then pulls a fork out of it and goes all 2004 Homicide on Fenix’s face while Marisposa prevents Melissa from helping Fenix. Marty kept alternating between stabbing Fenix and licking up his blood, with Melissa pleading for him to stop the whole time. Great angle.

A decent show from LU. The Cueto Cup continues to move along nicely.

[cero2k]

FENIX & AEROSTAR BACKSTAGE- weird.
Okay… is Aerostar a time traveler or can he see the future? Because those are two different things. And if it’s the second one, why didn’t he see Drago’s betrayal coming?
They’re concerned about Drago. Fenix is optimistic that he will rejoin them, Aerostar is not.
Pretty sure Fenix said Time Traveler, so Aerostar can't know what he hasn't traveled to. It was still weird,
Aerostar seemed way grim about everything and the whole betting on Fenix seemed interesting, because he either knows he's winning, or he knows he's losing but is kinda hopelessly beaten and sad about drago but trying to keep fenix motivated

CUETO CUP QUARTERFINAL MATCH: Paul London vs. Mil Muertes (w/Catrina)- 0.5/10
Matt Striker plugged a Ring of Honor show from 2003 because I guess he felt the need to establish indy cred rather than just talk about how tough Paul London is. And could he not find a Lucha Underground Paul London match to plug?
Look… I know they did a lot of good stuff in here, but they wore out my patients early on and I just could not bring myself to care about his match one bit. I just wanted it to end but it kept going and going and going. The whole Rabbit Tribe is completely pointless, and every time I see them or Mascarite Sagrada on the show it irritates me because this is time that could be spent telling a story for someone I actually give a sh*t about.
I was the other way around, I didn't give much fucks when it started, but then I was completely sold and super excited about the match. I was expecting more comedy but we actually got a good match out of London.
Also, Rabbit Tribe is not pointless, we just haven't seen their whole thing. The tribes are a big deal, they wouldn't just create a pointless one.

BRENDA TRIES TO SEDUCE EL TEXANO JR. (apparently on Famous B’s orders)- I can totally see both Famous B and Brenda thinking that this will get Texano to sign with Famous B because neither or them is particularly bright, but I assume what will happen here is that Texano will just boink Brenda and then still not sign with Famous B.
Famous B definitely sent Brenda to seduce Texano, who I think will go with it for a while because he's a meathead.

CUETO CUP QUARTERFINAL MATCH: Fenix vs. Marty “The Moth” Martinez (w/Mariposa)- 6/10
Marty tried to stuff a sandwich in Melissa Santos’ mouth. That is not a euphemism. The story of this match was Mariposa trying to interfere, and the finish has Melissa Santos prevent her from doing so, which also distracted Marty The Moth, allowing Fenix to roll him up for the win.
Definitely not the story i got, I saw it more as Marty was trying everything to get Melissa's attention,
Mariposa wanted Marty to stay focused on Fenix. When Marty notices that Melissa is all about Fenix, Marty goes more berserk and he starts to control the match.

[Big Red Machine]

FENIX & AEROSTAR BACKSTAGE- weird.
Okay… is Aerostar a time traveler or can he see the future? Because those are two different things. And if it’s the second one, why didn’t he see Drago’s betrayal coming?
They’re concerned about Drago. Fenix is optimistic that he will rejoin them, Aerostar is not.
Pretty sure Fenix said Time Traveler, so Aerostar can't know what he hasn't traveled to. It was still weird,
Aerostar seemed way grim about everything and the whole betting on Fenix seemed interesting, because he either knows he's winning, or he knows he's losing but is kinda hopelessly beaten and sad about drago but trying to keep fenix motivated
That's what I thought, too, but Aerostar in this segment said he could see the future.

CUETO CUP QUARTERFINAL MATCH: Paul London vs. Mil Muertes (w/Catrina)- 0.5/10
Matt Striker plugged a Ring of Honor show from 2003 because I guess he felt the need to establish indy cred rather than just talk about how tough Paul London is. And could he not find a Lucha Underground Paul London match to plug?
Look… I know they did a lot of good stuff in here, but they wore out my patients early on and I just could not bring myself to care about his match one bit. I just wanted it to end but it kept going and going and going. The whole Rabbit Tribe is completely pointless, and every time I see them or Mascarite Sagrada on the show it irritates me because this is time that could be spent telling a story for someone I actually give a sh*t about.
I was the other way around, I didn't give much fucks when it started, but then I was completely sold and super excited about the match. I was expecting more comedy but we actually got a good match out of London.
Also, Rabbit Tribe is not pointless, we just haven't seen their whole thing. The tribes are a big deal, they wouldn't just create a pointless one.
Maybe I'll need to look back on it, but I could have sworn that something was said early on in their run that basically said they weren't a legit tribe.

[cero2k]

Maybe I'll need to look back on it, but I could have sworn that something was said early on in their run that basically said they weren't a legit tribe.

their emblem is part of the 7 medallions of the Gift of the Gods, so there's definitely a tribe there.

[Big Red Machine]

Maybe I'll need to look back on it, but I could have sworn that something was said early on in their run that basically said they weren't a legit tribe.

their emblem is part of the 7 medallions of the Gift of the Gods, so there's definitely a tribe there.

Ah. In that case they are legit, though I wish they're matches were shorter and less annoying.

[cero2k]

Ah. In that case they are legit, though I wish they're matches were shorter and less annoying.

i'm not a big fan of their trios matches, but I have liked their singles matches from the tournament

[Big Red Machine]

Ah. In that case they are legit, though I wish they're matches were shorter and less annoying.

i'm not a big fan of their trios matches, but I have liked their singles matches from the tournament

I liked the one against Marty. Other than that they often feel like they're taking too long and going nowhere because they don't feel like a real threat. Also, the guy in the checkerboard outfit needs to change immediately.