BRM Reviews CHIKARA If the Airplane is Snowed In, Put Your Bloody Skis On and Get Going!

[Big Red Machine]

CHIKARA If the Airplane is Snowed In, Put Your Bloody Skis On and Get Going! (2/20/2009)- Reading, PA

I’m not going to lie to you: I would have been EXTREMELY annoyed if that pointlessly long show name caused my usual Promotion Show Name (Day/Month/Year)- City, State header to spill down to a second line in Microsoft Word. Fortunately, it just made it, so I can commence with my review of this show, which start out with an…

ORDER OF THE NEO-SOLAR TEMPLE PROMO- UltraManits Black is excited that tonight he might welcome a new member of the Order of the Neo-Solar Temple. Unfortunately for UMB he thought he was getting “Pinky the Flamingo Kid” but instead Crossbones has brought him Pinkie Sanchez, and… let’s just say I don’t see this working out after their interaction here. This was utterly hilarious.

CHEECH, CLOUDY, & HYDRA vs. PINKIE SANCHEZ & THE ORDER OF THE NEO-SOLAR TEMPLE (UltraMantis Black & Crossbones)- 4.5/10
Pinkie was dancing to the other team’s entrance music. Yeah. This is not going to end well. Pinkie wanted to dance during the match and UMB kept yelling at him not to. He wound up accidentally hitting Crossbones with a move meant for Cheech so Crossbones shoved him over to Cheech & Cloudy for them to hit him with their moves and walked off.

GRIZZLY REDWOOD PROMO- not so good. It wasn’t the delivery that was the problem so much as the odd and forced dialogue. This was in the very early days of Grizzly Redwood, before he had found the character’s voice in a way that didn’t seem too weird.

GRIZZLY REDWOOD vs. CREATE-A-WRESTLER- 3.75/10
A flapjack into the pancakes. Cute. Grizzly won with a handful of tights.

DELIRIOUS vs. SAMI CALLIHAN- 5.25/10
UltraMantis Black was on commentary to scout Sami Callihan, who will team with him and Crossbones tomorrow night in a King of Trios qualifier. They did comedy early on which resulted in Sami’s face getting worked over. Sami eventually got the heat but Delirious made a decently quick comeback and switched to working over the midsection. Delirious eventually won with the Cobra Stretch, which greatly disappointed UltraMantis. Sami didn’t get much offense in, but the offense did get in looked quite vicious, served to make Delirious look quite tough for fighting through it.

UNSTABLE PROMO- not good.
Vin Gerard did almost all of the talking and he was usually pretty good, but unfortunately not in this promo. The words were fine but the delivery was off.

MIKE QUACKENBUSH, JIGSAW, & TIM DONST vs. THE UNSTABLE (Vin Gerard, Colin Delaney, & STIGMA)- 8/10
Donst and STIGMA want to get at each other and had to be restrained by their teammates (STIGMA had injured Donst in December). The others worked together for a while, but when Donst and STIGMA finally got the chance to go at, they REALLY went at it.
Donst got cut off and became the babyface in peril for a while until he managed to out of the ring by spearing STIGMA through the ropes. Jigsaw wound up being the babyface in peril for the second heat, but he made a great comeback, made the hot tag, and from then on it was all fast-paced trios action!

OSIRIAN PORTAL PROMO- very good. Especially Ophidian.

THE FUTURE IS NOW (Lince Dorado & Equinox) vs. THE OSIRIAN PORTAL- 6.75/10
Ophidian and Amasis had setup TFIN as the massive underdogs in their promo, pointing out that they are a team brought together by circumstance rather than a team brought together by choice like the Osirian Portal, and they couldn’t even beat the team of Ophidian & Escorpion Egipcio (back at Armdrags To Riches in November) then what chance do they have of beating the pairing of Ophidian & Amasis, the Campeones de Parejas? TFIN did put up a great babyface fight, but the Osirian Portal came out of this with the win. That’s why they’re the champions.

BRODIE LEE vs. FRIGHTMARE- 5.25/10
Power vs. speed. Good for the time it got.

KING OF TRIOS QUALIFYING MATCH: The Colony vs. F.I.S.T.- 7.5/10
Those despicable heels F.I.S.T. jump The Colony during their entrance. They started hot and heavy and kept going hot and heavy with an intense, action-packed match. F.I.S.T. won, pinning Worker Ant, and after the match, for no reason at all, Chuck Taylor gave the already-downed Worker Ant an Awful Waffle onto the wood floor. They did a great job with this injury angle, with the only thing they could have done better being have Quack and Chikarason not being so “business as usual” on commentary during the next match. This would turn out to be the end of Worker Ant’s career.

CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI vs. ESCORPION EGIPCIO- 6.5/10
Escorpion Egicpcio worked over Claudio’s knee but he made a comeback and won the match-up of two of CHIKARA’s largest wrestlers. I assume the only reason this seemingly random match was in the main event spot was because they didn’t want to end the show with the heavy injury angle.

F.I.S.T. PROMO- good, though Icarus’ delivery was a much better than Chuck’s.

A good show from CHIKARA, with two great six-man tags, a MAJOR storyline moment, and a few other matches that all served some storyline purpose or another, that went out there, accomplished their goal, and didn’t outstay their welcome.