Cero Reviews CHIKARA Temple Of Doom

[cero2k]

CHIKARA Temple Of Doom
December 3rd, 2016
Chicago, Illinois

Drew Gulak vs Lucas Calhoun - 6.5/10
Did they really need a video package for a match which's build up consisted of just another match? Was this something that Quack just couldn't mention in commentary.

Post-Match: Lucas offers a hand shake, then Gulak slaps him, the shakes his hand. Him and Hero have been hanging out too much.

Team Big Deal vs Submission Squad - 6/10
Evan Gelistico is not with the SS, and apparently he had the costumes, because they came out looking quite cheaply. Match was nothing special, Team Big Deal got the heat on Davey Vega for a while until the hot tag that didn't last long. SS really looked liked geeks today, Big Deal had made fun of them before the match, and SS couldn't do anything about it.

Crummels & Defarge Promo - Ok, Crummels monotone voice fits perfectly with the gimmick.

Dez Peloton vs Crummels & Defarge - 7/10
I really hate CHIKARA entrance themes. As a cyclist, I really hate Dez Peloton, they're the worst type of cyclist you'll find in the street. Defarge, for someone from the plague days in Germany, has a really modern looking tattoo. Good match, mostly dominated by C&D, Jasper was the tecnico in peril for a big chunk of the match, and the hot tag was really short. Match got a lot better towards the end. Good finish sequence.

Soldier Ant Retirement - They showed a little video package of why he is retiring, and it made his retirement look really cheap. Soldier Ant has been with CHIKARA for a long while now and you couldn't come up with something better? The idea that he lost his last antenna, so now he can't see is brilliant to retire the character, this could have been a better ceremony. I guess this is what happens when you create 30 new characters per month, you kill 20, and they're all replaceable. This should had been a bigger deal knowing who is underneath the mask. Anyway, whole roster came out, Quack gave him a medal, ladies are crying for a fake retirement, and there was a ten bell salute. CHIKARA is officially the worst at sending off their guys to bigger companies.

Max Smashmaster w/Sidney Bakabella Promo - Both guys were great.

Max Smashmaster vs Solo Darling - 3/10
Again, they showed the video package like if this was some kind of epic match that was built on top of one five minute segment. There is a way to do inter-gender matches, and the big bad dude running away from the little lady's punches is not one; hell, that doesn't even pass in a small dude vs super heavyweight match. This was a terrible match, slow and unrealistic, it makes lucha libre look real, and to make things worse, the tecnico won because the ref didn't see the rudo's foot in the rope, and when the rudos trying to 'talk' to the ref, the wimp ran off.

Los Ice Cream vs Cajun Crawdad & Hermit Crab - 4/10
These video packages are the worst, they're like powerpoint presentations. Funny match, probably the most enjoyable match so far because of the comedy, but when the comedy match is better than the wrestled ones, you know something is wrong. 3 pts for comedy, 2 pts for wrestling, -1 point because fan interaction made me re-think my life choices and wrestling fandom.

Amasis vs Frightmare Video Package - It makes Amasis seemed more rudo than he is supposed to be.

Mask vs Mask Match
Amasis vs Frightmare - 7/10
Awesome intro by Vlad. This HAS to be one of the biggest matches in CHIKARA history, it is at least the biggest Apuestas match they've had since F.I.S.T. vs Colony, other names have been unmasked before, but never two guys with so much history in the promotion. Wrestling wise this match was leagues away from the rest of the show. Fans looked completely bored or something, they'll start clapping every now and then, but Jesus, you do a stipulation like this in any other promotion and people are going crazy.

Towards the end of the match, there was a ref bump where Amasis had a clear pin. Frightmare was ripping on Amasis' mask, and a low blow, following all this, Frightmare kicked out of some spots and eventually turned the tide and hit Kneecolepsy twice and Bryce threatens to throw the match because of excessive violence!? FUCK OFF! Amasis stops Bryce and tells him, "NO, HE EARNED THIS MASK!" WHAAAT!!? FUCK THIS COMPANY!! Amasis got a clean win and a low blow no more than 5 minutes ago and Frightmare "EARNED THIS MASK!!?" Seriously, what is this bullshit? This match was 11 yrs in the making, first Mask vs Mask match in technically what it is the only US-Styled Lucha promotion and you do this? No matter who tecnico Amasis can be, it's your fucking mask that is on the line! People just don't earn it, they need to rip it off from your skin with a pin or submission, if you still have strength to talk, you have strength to defend your mask. FUCK! Hey Quack, you say you like lucha libre, go watch Ultimo Guerrero vs Atlantis, La Sombra vs Atlantis, Villano V vs Blue Panther, hell, even Aerostar vs Super Fly, learn how to do a fucking Mask vs Mask match. I watched this whole show because of this match and now I'm pissed.

Post-Match: Frightnamre rips Amasis' mask off and throws it in the trash, Amasis cries in the ring among the chants of the fans. Talk about an anti-climatic ending. Ophidian comes out and hugs him. Amasis leaves like if he was sorry to lose his mask and is retiring.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
This may have been the worst show I've seen AT LEAST in over a year, and I've been watching some bad indies in the past. Wrestling wise this was a one match show, storyline wise, this only had to relevant things, one being a retirement, and the other an unmasking that god knows what will happen since it was a feud blow off.

I wish I could go back and change my vote for worst promotion of the year, seriously, my local lucha promotion has better production value than CHIKARA. Video packages have Terrible production, they're mostly unnecessary, and the ones that weren't, were short and lackluster. Quackenbush in commentary solo was like watching a nature show in Natural Geographic Kids network, great insight, but I don't come to wrestling to listen to a school lecture. Characters now more than ever are completely stupid, and someone Quack has managed to make them all generic. CHIKARA has been one of the top 5 indies in the US for over 15 yrs, along with ROH, PWG, CZW, EVOLVE, etc, and you compare all promotions and even PWG that fight in a little Legion Hall looks like WWE compared to CHIKARA, the show just looks cheap. You could imagine that we could do a year without bringing Sendai Girls and pay to ship the entrance stage and ring mats to your season finale show. I had only watched another CHIKARA show during 2016, and maybe i'll skip 2017.

[Big Red Machine]

Max Smashmaster vs Solo Darling - 3/10
Again, they showed the video package like if this was some kind of epic match that was built on top of one five minute segment. There is a way to do inter-gender matches, and the big bad dude running away from the little lady's punches is not one; hell, that doesn't even pass in a small dude vs super heavyweight match. This was a terrible match, slow and unrealistic, it makes lucha libre look real, and to make things worse, the tecnico won because the ref didn't see the rudo's foot in the rope, and when the rudos trying to 'talk' to the ref, the wimp ran off.

Why no DUD?

I wish I could go back and change my vote for worst promotion of the year, seriously, my local lucha promotion has better production value than CHIKARA. Video packages have Terrible production, they're mostly unnecessary, and the ones that weren't, were short and lackluster. Quackenbush in commentary solo was like watching a nature show in Natural Geographic Kids network, great insight, but I don't come to wrestling to listen to a school lecture. Characters now more than ever are completely stupid, and someone Quack has managed to make them all generic. CHIKARA has been one of the top 5 indies in the US for over 15 yrs, along with ROH, PWG, CZW, EVOLVE, etc, and you compare all promotions and even PWG that fight in a little Legion Hall looks like WWE compared to CHIKARA, the show just looks cheap. You could imagine that we could do a year without bringing Sendai Girls and pay to ship the entrance stage and ring mats to your season finale show. I had only watched another CHIKARA show during 2016, and maybe i'll skip 2017.

There is nothing that you said i your analysis of this company that I disagree with.